Disappointed with birthday trip

[Holidaybluees]

NC as I’m ashamed of how I’m feeling. DP booked us a cruise for my milestone birthday this summer. It’s going to two city locations in Europe. He’s put a lot of thought into it and couldn’t wait to tell me about it. I’m incredibly grateful he’s booked something but I’m so sad at the same time. For his milestone birthday last year I took him to Europe (beach holiday) and we went to a water park as he loves them. 5 star all inclusive adults only hotel. The cruise he’s booked is adult only but we only get less than a full day in each location.

I love a beach holiday and water sports like jet skiing so whilst I’m so grateful I’m so confused about what he’s booked. My birthday is in the summer so I said I didn’t mind going away later in the year when flights are cheaper. I assumed this made it clear I wanted a beach holiday (like for like) but clearly I wasn’t clear enough as there’s no flights involved for my trip.

I don’t know what to do and I’ve felt a bit teary today as it feels like he doesn’t know me at all. One of the places we’re going to is on my list of holidays but it’s not where I’d go for a big birthday. I have no interest in the other city. I don’t know if I can say anything to him without seeming like a bitch but I’m so deflated. Should I say something or suck it up?

Suck it up. If you adopt a positive attitude, you can have a lovely time on this holiday. You can have holidays you choose on other occasions.

Why don't you experience it before you decide you're disappointed.

I’m definitely going to do my best to be positive but my initial reaction is confusion. It’s just not the sort of trip I’d choose for a big celebration

Suck it up. He has clearly tried and in all honesty you sound ungrateful.

If he put effort into a trip like that he must have thought you would like it. It could be the best holiday you will ever have x

Is there any way you can cancel and get the money back? if so, I'd probably take a deep breath and have that conversation. But a cruise is my idea of a holiday from hell.

If not, I think you have to suck it up.

This!

thing is we’ve discussed doing a cruise before but we’ve always talked about ones going to hot countries. I enjoy a city break every now and then but as a quick trip not for something important. I’m very much a beach holiday type of person. I feel awful for the way I feel but I just don’t get it. I’ve gone from being so excited about what he’d book to totally deflated

Not sure if we can cancel. He booked yesterday and I looked at their website and it seems like he’ll lose the deposit?

Suck it up
Make the most of it

He's made an effort and and anything you do now will taint something new

I do understand, my DH has a longstanding habit of putting in a lot of effort but not hitting the nail on the head

You might really enjoy what he's selected

Please try and see how hard your husband has tried.

I'd be over the bloody moon if my husband did anything remotely like this

You sound ungrateful- he has clearly put effort into this trip. I'm not sure how 'we can go away later in the year' would possibly be interpreted as 'I'd like a beach holiday' Did you say 'for my landmark birthday I'd love to go to x, y or z? I'd really like to be by the beach' As others have said, you might really enjoy it.

So sad because you are only getting to go on a cruise for your birthday?

I think you need to get a grip.

Thats a hard one. Its a common problem that OHs just don't put as much thought into presents or holidays, or misinterpret what we say.
Talk to him about why he chose it. It maybe more considered than you realise. Perhaps he thought the days at sea would be romantic. Or how busy airports are in the summer. Or maybe he fancied doing it and didn't think very much. His birthday holiday sounds a lot like what you'd choose to do for yours, so maybe he wanted to do something different to make it special. Cruises are expensive ao the limited stops may be cheaper.
Once he's explained more why, you can properly consider the nuclear option of cancelling. There maybe a cooling off period if he bought online. But its likely to hurt his feelings very badly. You might just get away with it if you wanted to swap it for a different cruise from the same people.

Ahh the tyranny of the ‘milestone birthday’.

You’ll have to say, otherwise you’ll get another cruise for your next treat

First world problems! Try not to suck the joy out out it, you might even have fun.

I realise this comes across as a first world problem. My issue is he’s put a lot of thought in but completely missed the mark. His birthday was exactly the kind of thing he likes. He loves water parks and hot weather so that’s what I booked. I love the beach and lounging by the pool with a town nearby to explore. Also enjoy water sports. I’m just teary because I hit all his criteria but none of mine have been hit. Again very grateful but it’s a big birthday and I’ve had it in my head that the two trips would be like for like. Clearly I should have been explicitly clear about what I wanted but I thought he knew me well enough to know.

Are you going to be 21?

@ZekeZeke no it’s my 30th

30??!🙄get a grip. Yabu.

I would just be very grateful and go and enjoy yourself. Then make sure you are much more proactive in the future if you know you only want certain kinds of holiday, don't be vague be very specific.
You want to build your marriage and an important part of that is appreciating your spouse and the effort he made. You'll have plenty more birthdays and anniversaries to celebrate!

Unbelievable isn't it?

OP, your DH has put a lot of thought into this, and all you can do is whine. I don't think I've ever gone further away than our nearest city for any birthday, "big" or otherwise, and you are complaining about a cruise! You should feel ashamed.

@ithinkthatmaybeimdreaming I’m allowed to feel how i feel. Two things can be true at the same time. I can be grateful he’s booked something whilst acknowledging he’s missed the mark. Your lack of travelling is nothing to do with me or my situation

@Breezy1985 30 is a big birthday