Disappointed with birthday trip

[Holidaybluees]

NC as I’m ashamed of how I’m feeling. DP booked us a cruise for my milestone birthday this summer. It’s going to two city locations in Europe. He’s put a lot of thought into it and couldn’t wait to tell me about it. I’m incredibly grateful he’s booked something but I’m so sad at the same time. For his milestone birthday last year I took him to Europe (beach holiday) and we went to a water park as he loves them. 5 star all inclusive adults only hotel. The cruise he’s booked is adult only but we only get less than a full day in each location.

I love a beach holiday and water sports like jet skiing so whilst I’m so grateful I’m so confused about what he’s booked. My birthday is in the summer so I said I didn’t mind going away later in the year when flights are cheaper. I assumed this made it clear I wanted a beach holiday (like for like) but clearly I wasn’t clear enough as there’s no flights involved for my trip.

I don’t know what to do and I’ve felt a bit teary today as it feels like he doesn’t know me at all. One of the places we’re going to is on my list of holidays but it’s not where I’d go for a big birthday. I have no interest in the other city. I don’t know if I can say anything to him without seeming like a bitch but I’m so deflated. Should I say something or suck it up?

Were I in his shoes, I would want to know if I had got it wrong and correct it if possible. You seem to appreciate the effort he made and a big effort n your birthday is a reasonable and normal thing to expect I would think.
You can be grateful and help him adapt it perhaps?

Jeez Verruca Salt, why didn’t you just tell him you wanted a golden egg laying goose ?

😂
That went over the OP’s head

I’d probably have a chat with him, approaching it from the perspective of genuine curiosity around why he chose the trip. If he was just lazy and didn’t think about you, then fair enough to be disappointed. You might find though that he actually did think about you. I can see why for a milestone birthday, someone might think a city adventure (in addition to being able to laze by the pool on a cruise) is a bit more grown up and different than sitting by a beach or going to a water park. While you talk about being able to go to this city anytime, you obviously haven’t… and you can also go to the beach too. Also, if you have spoken by kids, I can understand why he might think some more grown up adventures could be worth ticking off the bucket list.

I’m incredibly grateful

• *Not

Why has he told you now when your birthday isn't until the summer? That's not much of a birthday surprise!

You're entitled to feel whatever you feel but I feel sorry for the poor sod! He can't do right for doing wrong.

I'm going to be 30 next month as is my partner.
Neither of us will have a night out (we have children) I'd be surprised if we managed a cinema trip tbh.
I would genuinely be delighted with a cruise. Like a pp said he probably didn't want to copy the holiday you got him. I say suck it up, I'd be gutted if my dp asked if we could cancer without even giving it a chance

You sound ungrateful and when did 30 become a big birthday lol can't say it's been one among my friends tbh. And why expect like for like, all the thought and money he has put into this and your teary. You don't deserve him then

My birthday is in the summer so I said I didn’t mind going away later in the year when flights are cheaper. I assumed this made it clear I wanted a beach holiday

I'm sorry but it's not clear at all, I'd assume later in the year meant NOT a beach holiday. You should have said you wanted a beach holiday.

Honestly OP, you may well be a lovely person IRL but this post makes you sound really entitled and spoilt. He's made an amazing effort, - are you aware that lots of folk don't expect or get anything remotely closely to that for their birthday (30th or not)? You need to go with an open mind and do yout very best to enjoy it.

Leaving everything else aside...

I'd tell him. Sounds like nothing you actually want. Aside from it being your bday, I could not justify spending so much money on something I was not excited about, especially if it was meant to be for me.

I would expect to pay him back the deposit though- how much is it? I'd also be expecting him to not want to book anything else.

With respect, that's on you though.

For a 30th, I'd be hiring a babysitter. Plenty of people have children and still make the effort to go out

It's fine if you think they are milestones and 'should be celebrated'. It's also fine to have other views.

If you are so fixed and rigid about where you wanted to go why did you leave it to someone else to book???

Can I have your husband please?

meanwhile people are using food banks to feed their children …

sort yourself out.

These posts are disingenuous. I've lived in the UK for 15 years and everyone in my friendship group has made a thing of their 30th.

Have a look at any card section in a store. It's there among the milestones.

I hope you copy and paste this on any post about someone not being in this situation 🙄

People definitely celebrate their 30ths, 40ths, 50ths etc - everyone I know did in some way. Although the number definitely dropped off at 50! Some friends balked at the half a century celebration.

See now I would love the holiday your DH has booked and absolutely hate a beach holiday with jet skiing etc so going from that, if my DH booked me a beach holiday for my birthday I'd also feel exactly like you OP! I'd be upset too. It would feel all wrong. And yes, I might enjoy it, but then why take that chance for an important (to OP) birthday?? Why not just book something you know the recipient definitely likes?

i think your best bet is to ask why he chose it - you may feel better once he's told you and start looking forward to it too!

Is there any way you could do this trip in the summer and then a cheaper beachy holiday outside of the summer hols?
I've always said to my husband I'm not keen on a cruise but he thinks I'd enjoy it... This sounds like the kind of thing he'd do. He often thinks I'm not great at trying new things and he knows me better than I know myself - sometimes he's right and sometimes he misses the mark.

The problem is you've posted about a birthday and MN hates adults wanting to celebrate their birthdays.

OP I get it. Make a list of the things that are really important to you about this trip in descending order. Try to work out which boxes are ticked and which are not.
Depending on who he booked with night you be able to transfer the budget to a different holiday? Get the itinerary, fund out of there's an option to jetski for example.

Is the money a lot more than you'd spend on your normal annual holiday? If not just book your preferred holiday for your next holiday.

No matter what people think of the op all your post shows is people buy cards for '0' birthdays

Anything with an ‘0’ is a big birthday
Life is to be celebrated imo.

I don’t think you should knock it until you try it OP.
I assume you don’t have children

Exactly. The posters are making out that they never knew 30 was a big birthday when they know it is. Just all part of the AIBU venom to make posters feel bad