Argh, look at this awful text from a date!

[londonisnotme]

AIBU to think it's just bloody awful?

'Hi L! How are you? Sorry I haven't replied , busy few days in the office. Listen, I really enjoyed our time together but I think your caring roles are a different world to mine. It just doesn't seem right for me to, and I thought you needed to know. You ARE beautiful (yes you are!) , but I can't get past this. I needed you to know so you knew why sometimes it won't work , but I'm sure there's a very nice guy out there just for you 😌'

I go from thinking it's cringe, to patronising. To maybe making for of me?!

For context, went on a few dates. Kissed and asked to have sex. I did. I wanted to. Wasn't very good but we move

He's then text this. Whilst I'm on a date with someone else Saturday night

I still haven't deleted the text so me and a few friends can have a laugh.

Your caring roles?

@Didimum I'm a parent carer

Does he mean he doesn’t want to date a woman with kids? If so, better he’s said so than mess you around.

This seems OK to me? He’s not ghosting or being rude or anything?

By caring does he mean your children.

Whilst it's not a text I would write, I don't think there's anything wrong with it.

He's saying hes not interested in anything with you without disparaging your character at all. It's fine!

He means that he cant handle been second as your caring role will always come first

At least he's been honest. Caring for a parent can be very time consuming. Although I do hope you find someone worthy of you 💐

"I thought you needed to know"

Hahahaha

This guy is a clumsy, patronising wanker - but at least he isn't a ghoster. Wish him well, wave him on his way, and onwards and upwards to better dates

It's a bit patronising but at least he has told you straight away rather than ghosting you

I thought so too lol

Just say 'sorry I hadn't text, I think it's best we don't see each other'

No need for the wanky paragraph. It was only a few dates and sex! I was quite clear I wasn't up for anything serious and it would be casual

Just another case of a man fucks then chucks.

He thinks he’s something special doesn’t he 😏

WTF is a parent carer?

I think your date thinks he's smarter than he is and more desirable than he is, and a thoroughly decent guy. I can imagine him sitting there thinking how very disappointed you'll be, how very decent it is of him to let you down gently, and how good he is with his words. He probably hopes for an affirming message back telling him how upset you are because he's so nice. Don't indulge it. He's just another twat who wants sex with as many women as possible while thinking he's a nice guy.

Sorry, do you mean you care for your parents or you are a parent caring for children? I can't see why either effects him?

It's a bit much, granted, but it's 10x better than a spineless ghost.

Perzactly!

Message back

"Who dis?"

I think it’s quite nice and refreshingly honest. He doesn’t want the headache of being roped into helping your parents out, maybe he has been in similar position before where he has had to run errands etc for elderly family or something. He doesn’t want to be sucked in. I don’t blame him tbh. At least he didn’t ghost you, or leave you with wondering if it was your face or the bad sex that put him off…

Jeezo! Goes to show that the shite some men come out with hasn't changed in the 25+ years I've been married. 😖

No loss.

You ARE beautiful (yes you are!)

He capitalises "are" and adds "yes you are!" assuming you'll naturally think you aren't beautiful. Patronising dickhead.

🤢🤢🤢

1. you don’t need him to tell you you’re beautiful - patronising wanker
2. someone out there “just for you” 🤢

This is a man with an over-inflated sense of self-worth who thinks you’re waiting around for him to decide if he wants you or not, and thinks that his opinion on your value is important. That’s some arrogance after a few dates and some mediocre sex!

The text is clumsy but I think we have all been in a situation where we have had to send a text/email/whatever and get a message across that is quite hard to write. He seems to have got this wrong but my view is that he has had a go at trying to communicate a difficult message rather than ghost you/sting along etc. Obviously this is only based on your post but honestly I think it could have been a lot worse. I understand that this does not make it less hurtful to receive

Doesn't seem that bad to me. At least you know why he doesn't want to try even if you didn't either. Seems honest.

Carer to their child I am guessing.