Argh, look at this awful text from a date!

[londonisnotme]

AIBU to think it's just bloody awful?

'Hi L! How are you? Sorry I haven't replied , busy few days in the office. Listen, I really enjoyed our time together but I think your caring roles are a different world to mine. It just doesn't seem right for me to, and I thought you needed to know. You ARE beautiful (yes you are!) , but I can't get past this. I needed you to know so you knew why sometimes it won't work , but I'm sure there's a very nice guy out there just for you 😌'

I go from thinking it's cringe, to patronising. To maybe making for of me?!

For context, went on a few dates. Kissed and asked to have sex. I did. I wanted to. Wasn't very good but we move

He's then text this. Whilst I'm on a date with someone else Saturday night

I still haven't deleted the text so me and a few friends can have a laugh.

So you were chatting to other guys on the side?

What is a parent carer exactly in this context?

if you’re not fussed about the bloke then not sure why there’s any energy expended on interpreting / analysing said text?

Oh x10000 this.

Why on earth would I need to know if he thinks I'm beautiful? But most importantly, why does he think I need to know I'm beautiful from him?

Just say it isn't for you and crack on with life. All seems very patronising and like he's seeing himself as a real catch for his clever text

Why bother posting the reply. Just move on. Your not interested anyway.

Enough with the self worth OP, he's allowed to be patronising but you aren't allowed to be anything but meek and polite in return - you're the woman, remember!
God so many of these responses are depressing.

Yep

I use to work with Women's Aid. Some of his language is subtle but sparks memories of some examples of red flags in men from the Freedom programme

I don't understand why all the parent carer questions are being ignored?

OP, no one is trying to be awkward about this just trying to understand that element as it's his stated reason for being incompatible with you, yet you won't explain to us what he's referring to?

Could you please?

I agree.

I think it’s clumsy but kind. I’d much rather have a clear explanation about someone’s reasons for ending it (even a brief but physical fling), than be ghosted and have someone treat sex as if it means nothing. This seems like a decent person, if not a natural wordsmith.

Sorry, it was actually explained by a few other posters

It's a very commonly used term for a parent who's also a carer to their DC - a parent carer

I think it's a nice message, but un called for as you are not exclusive

He looks like he’s trying reach a word count 😂 I’d get the ick alone from the tone of the text OP!

Oh, I thought it was quite a nice message.
He tried to be kind and do the right thing. It was quite sweet. And he was honest.

'Your caring roles are a different world to mine.'

I pity any woman who ends up with this man or has his children. Who may have special needs, as any child might.

Super cringe. But in a way, lucky you getting off so lightly and soon. Have fun with your current/next dates!

Wow my thoughts were his message was cringe-inducing patronising and self-aggrandising 😬

The grandiosity and magnanimity, ugh.

People not understanding how gross this message is are making me laugh!

Also, to the crabby arses going on about terminology and then further to question you having free time? Grow up.

Definitely. "Yes you are!" sounds like he's talking to a pet. Nothing about that message is nice, and it's genuinely shocking that so many posters can't see that.

Were your looks ever part of the conversation in the date?? Like were you having a conversation about how you don't think you're attractive or something??

Because if not, that's random and yes, the tone is quite patronising and cringe😅I think you'd dodged one there.

I'm interested in your experience at Women's Aid and the language things you mentioned.

I assume he knew from the start you have caring responsibilities?

Yet he waited after he had sex with you to tell you this was a deal breaker/an issue for him.

A decent guy would not have wasted your time and his text is patronising.

To the people on his thread who think this text is perfectly fine: raise your standards...

He is just the usual time-waster ( this so common on online dating apps) who is just after sex then moves on to the next person. He used whatever excuse came into his little head to end it and it is likely he is congratulating himself for being 'honest' with women rather than ghosting them.

Wow.

I think it is very decent of him to write a message instead of just ghosting you. Maybe the wording is a little clumsy but it wouldn't strike me as rude or patronising.

Absolutely cracked me up (yes it did!)

Oh OP, you must be secretly gutted to have lost such a special beautiful man. I bet he would have played you songs on his acoustic guitar and gazed into your eyes under the starlight, if only he weren't such an insufferable twat that he can't get past you being a real person with actual human connections.

Its a bit patronising but I think it's better then just never getting in contact again, which is what you planned to do.