Should i have invited my brother to a girls weekend away?

[NatMoz]

It is both my mum's 70th and my aunty's 60th in March/April.

My brother had made 0 plans and his only idea was a Chinese. I said that I'll book a girls long weekend away (myself, mum and aunty) to make it memorable and he can be in charge of the inclusive family meal where everyone will be invited to celebrate which he agreed to.

So I've planned, booked, organised an itinerary for a long weekend European city break for the 3 of us for a girls weekend. My brother is now absolutely hounding me because he has decided he would also like to join in on the girls weekend. Telling me he doesn't mind carrying the bags and is there room for a little one. I explained it would spoil the dynamic of the trip and at 31 why would he want to spend a girls weekend with us anyway🤣. He is already going on holiday with my mum and dad for 10 days in June to Greece so it's not like he's missing out on going abroad and spending time with my parents! He lives at home so spends every day with them so again it's not like he lives on the other side of the world.

He explained he hasn't been on holiday with my aunty in 10 years. The last time he did, i organised that trip too!!! I did say if he felt so strongly about it, why has he not organised something prior to this point as there have been 10 years of opportunities.

I've now been told I'm banned from the family meal he is organising 🤷.

To clarify further, my husband, my dad nor my daughter (aged 2) will be attending this weekend away either. Just myself, mum and aunty.

Am i in the wrong here?

I cannot stand these girls and boys things, why is the dynamic ruined just because your brother is there?
I think you are being selfish

I think it's a bit of a dick move, why not just a family weekend away ? Why should you be able to go to what he is organising if he's not allowed to come to what you have. I'm with your brother on this one.

It's just fucking weird.

Why would the dynamic be ruined because hes a man?

Are you doing nails and hair and throwing pink glitter around 24/7? 🤔 🙄

Just let him attend the trip.

You're a bit out of order and I think it's fair enough for him to ban you from the meal in retaliation - you've reaped what you sowed by wanting the division between the two of you.

I don't think there's anything wrong with a girls weekend!

Your brother sounds like a bit of a plum.

That's crazy. He has plenty of time still to organize something, she isn't selfish for planning for her mum and auntie to have a getaway. Yes sometimes women just like to be together, just as men do. He's a grown man who has plenty of opportunity to plan other trips. The OPs husband isn't going either.

Don't think anything is wrong with just you your mum and aunt going away and think your brother is acting like a child. Sounds like he's still one anyway seeing as he still lives at home

YANBU. He's too lazy to organize something himself. Of course it changes the dynamic! He's an arsehole.

Surely it’s a ‘birthday weekend’?

Does your Mum want to celebrate on a weekend away without her husband and son?

It seems a bit odd.

But your brother is also being a pain to have changed his mind. What does your Dad think?

Your title is misleading. Whilst it's your mum and aunt this isn't really a girl's trip, it's a family weekend away with two older ladies, so on that basis YABU.

I take it she's celebrating 'with' a weekend away, she's doing something with her husband and son as well. My friends do things for their birthdays with just girlfriends, it's a change to do something a little different! Women do not have to do everything with their husbands

My dad agrees with me and is looking forward to having a 'lads' weekend with my husband where there will be fish and chips involved.

He has also put in his request for me to organise his 70th and what he would like to do!

What do your Mum & Aunt want?

Why are you making it about squabbling siblings?

I can easily see how inviting a pouty, lazy manbaby would wreck the dynamic. YANBU @NatMoz.

What? 😂 so what constitutes a 'girls' trip then, so that I can update my female family members when we play our next girls getaway

I think it's fun to have girls' trips/events sometimes. Having a man there absolutely changes the dynamic. I think as long as there is also a family event planned it's fine. And he's perfectly free to organize something to take his Mum out himself if he wants.

My sisters, SIL and myself just took my Mum out for a birthday tea, it was so fun!

Now we have Dad's input...

What does MUM want?!

I explained it would spoil the dynamic of the trip and at 31 why would he want to spend a girls weekend with us anyway

Why on earth would he NOT want to spend time with his mum and aunt?

God I cannot stand gender-segregated socialising, why must everything be a girly weekend or a boys' night out.

And it's an entire holiday, if you three do any activity he's not into I'm sure he can amuse himself for a few hours. But he can still have a nice time with his family joining you for meals, hikes, sightseeing or any of the hundreds of holiday activities that do not require a particular set of genitalia.

So he wants to piggy back on your plans, jump on your bandwagon, [insert other cliche of choice] and you’re in the wrong for that?

I'm assuming Mum might like a break from her adult son who is still living with them in their 30s

Mum and Aunty are totally excited and have been sending me links to restaurants! They have also asked me to book the ballet while there!

I'm assuming OP has asked her mum and aunty

Its great they're excited for the trip, but have they actually said they don't want your brother there?

Is your brother being included in the “lads” weekend your dad plans to have with your husband? Or is he excluded from that?

Personally I also think it would spoil the dynamic. You are not being unreasonable. Seems weird to me for a 31 year old man to whinge about not being on holiday with his Auntie in 10 years.