To tell 10 year old daughter the truth?

[TheGhostsOfMeAndYou]

My daughter's 10, she's due to start secondary school next year.

We haven't told her Father Christmas isn't real yet.

I think she knows really but she hasn't addressed it aloud to us.

I want to tell her as I don't want her going to secondary school and being picked on, or finding out from another child.

But how do I do it?

I feel so sad that another part of her childhood is over and I also worry that Christmas will loose that magical feeling.

She's not going to school till September? No need to do anything now, wait and see.

You have a year don't sweat it. She'll twig

I think there’s a Jacqueline Wilson book that will do the job for you - someone was asking a few days ago.

She’ll still enjoy Christmas, but she is now a tween ie going to adolescence (whether it shows or not yet) it’s naturally going to be different. But in between the drama the teen years are magical in their own way.

I always told my kids in the summer before they went to high school. Three kids and all of them already knew and had been humouring me for at least a year.

it’s sad when they aren’t little any more but as a mum of young adults believe me there are still so many exciting times ahead as you get to know them as a person and not just your dependant child.

Don’t say anything just don’t make a big Santa fuss. I don’t think I ever told my parents I didn’t believe we just all knew and kept the secret going!

Do it in the summer. You will more than likely find she already knows.

She won't necessarily twig if she hasn't yet.

Wait until Easter, a bit further away from Christmas.
Does she know the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy are nonsense? If not start there. If she does then link Father Christmas in with them.

Do you know what the book is please? In a similar situation myself

We have never discussed it, it just gradually dropped away.

If you think she knows, then maybe she will also know not to mention it at school.

I told my youngest the summer before she went to high school.

She burst into tears when I told her. She said she'd known for two years but liked the Christmas Eve rituals and didn't want them to stop 🤣🤣

I don't think I ever 'told' any of mine that Father Christmas wasn't real! They just knew 😁

stop talking about Santa start talking about Christmas and present buying I do think ."they" know he isn't real I think by 10 she will twig.

She already knows. Kids at school have told her. She feels she needs to pretend for you guys. Maybe for the fuss you make. Just have the conversation.

My dd1 was coming up to 9 when she told me in very matter of fact tones that she knew FC was me and daddy, so I might as well admit it.

So I did.
It was only when she was in her early 20s that she told me she’d been dying for me to deny it, so she could go on believing a little longer. I so wished I had! 😰

Honestly I worried about my Son but then chose not to tell him because I felt like he wanted to keep to magic alive even though he probably already knew. Anyway he’s in year 9 and doesn’t make a fuss about Santa but I think he likes me saying let’s see what Santa’s brought. I did tell him the tooth fairy wasn’t real and he was like well you’ve ruined it now. So he obviously already knew. Maybe try with that one first to test the water.

I have a vivid memory of being four and saying he wasn't real. Children twig when they twig, your daughter will either learn from friends or simply stop believing - Don't sweat over it xx

Seriously, unless you are home ed she already knows. She is just going along with it for you.

You will probably find that secondary school will do the job for you. Their RE or similar lessons seem to make a point of bursting the balloon for them in the first term.

My daughter is 5 years old and last Christmas my husband asked her if father Christmas was real, she said without thinking "it's not real" and she was totally fine about it 😯. They learn a lot from outside environment too.

Ps my eldest is 15. We still pretend father xmas is coming. Its just everyone knows its a big pretence.

I enjoyed the pretence over Father Christmas well into my late teens and during university holidays when back home. I knew from age 9 and asked my dad, but he batted it back in a kind of “well what do you think?” sort of way. So it was never firmly denied, but also I wasn’t told he absolutely existed once I was starting to question it, which I think from reading on mumsnet seems to be a good way to go about it.
I now have a 9 year old, who actually asked a year ago whether FC was real, and I did the whole “well why do you think that?” with him. He tells me tooth fairy and Easter bunny aren’t real, but we haven’t chatted about FC since. I’m fairly sure he knows but like me at that age it’s fun to pretend.

My children know but they’ve never ruined the magic for me. They play along each year and I hope it will never be any different!

No not necessarily at all. My DDs were very unquestioning.

Surely at 10 she already knows? She’s well beyond the age where a bit of logical thinking would tell her there’s not a magical man with flying reindeer popping down her chimney once a year?