To tell 10 year old daughter the truth?

[TheGhostsOfMeAndYou]

My daughter's 10, she's due to start secondary school next year.

We haven't told her Father Christmas isn't real yet.

I think she knows really but she hasn't addressed it aloud to us.

I want to tell her as I don't want her going to secondary school and being picked on, or finding out from another child.

But how do I do it?

I feel so sad that another part of her childhood is over and I also worry that Christmas will loose that magical feeling.

They tend to question it on their own mine already know that the one you visit isnt real (4&7). The younger one told us this year that no one is really magic ( when talking about how he gets in via our blocked chimney) and the 7 yr old asked if hes really real anyway, although I did say of course he is mainly as it was 2days before Christmas 😂he has also asked what santa has got to do with the Christmas (nativity) story

My DD, to all intents and purposes, still believes in Father Christmas. She’s 11, Y7. I think she probably knows the truth but maybe thinks if she lets on she won’t get a stocking or a present from him (actually she would!)

in my family we have always left a drink out for Father Christmas, even before there were little kids! Obviously we all know it’s not real but it’s just part of our family tradition.

I've never had this conversation with my DD's - now 16 & 12.
They know.

I don't understand why parents feel the need to have "the chat" they know by the time they go to secondary school. Like PP have said, some like to still play along. My son did Christmas just gone (first year of secondary) I know from a few comments and looks he knows but he's playing along, probably for his little sister but also probably worried if he fesses up as a non believer then he might not get a stocking!

My DD is 9 and blurted out the question asking if FC was real as she had seen a video of parents putting out presents, she was upset (and had firmly believed up to that point) and we reassured her he was real as I could just tell that's what she wanted to hear. She may or not believe still but in that instance it felt right. She will figure it out.

I don't understand why parents feel the need to have "the chat" they know by the time they go to secondary school.

Because of worry they will get picked on / laughed at by pupils at the new school.

I bought the Judy Blume book Love Santa. It is about carrying on the magic of Christmas for younger children and is really lovely.

I can absolutely assure you that they don’t all know by the time they transfer to secondary. Many 11yo are the eldest in their family and have minimal contact with older children if they don’t have cousins or similar. I think many people forget how ‘young’ an 11yo can be.

That's not the point though is it.
The concern is the more mature/grown up but less caring kids will find out and laugh at your child and call them a baby.

Primary school kids do it, I remember someone telling my DD that cuddly toys were babyish so she put them all off her bed, then lay there rigid unable to get to sleep.
Secondary school is kids from all round, and Christmas is in their first term. parents are bound to be wary.

Yes, exactly. I am in agreement with you.

You know your daughter best & how she might cope with it. My DD was fine when I confirmed it at the age of 11 (she'd known for a couple of years) but my friend's dd at the same age was devastated and hadn't cottoned on to it at all even though her twin had figured it out the same time as my DD!

Why did you lie to her in the first place?

What? My dc are adults and still have a pillowcase and a chocolate Santa every year. He lives!

"I feel so sad that another part of her childhood is over and I also worry that Christmas will loose that magical feeling."

It's part of growing up. She'll cope (though I suspect she knows already).

You will cope.

Totally this. I'm sure my 11 Yr olds know but no-one wants to break the magic!!

So we just carry on as we were 😀

Oh, go away 🙄

Brilliant 😍

This is what happened with us. I told my child rhe summer before secondary school and they said they knew last year but didn't say anything for their younger siblings sakes!

Some people's attachment to this shit is really weird.

I don’t think it’s a conversation that needs to be had.

Nah, the realisation that Santa couldn't possibly get through the gas fire came to me well before high school lol. My mum's excuse for us tidying our rooms or Santa wouldn't come went out the window after that.

I have 10 year old twins - I didn't tell them yet and they are fully believers.

My parents never told me. I think we found out by osmosis!

I think you're overthinking this.

It was the first thing my little sister googled back in the day when she got access to google at school for a project she was doing lol. She was Year 6...

My parents still put a few presents under the tree from Santa..