AIBU to think 2 hours of Fortnite after school is a lot for a just Year 8 DC?

[likesandlikes]

I think 1.5 hours is more than enough but apparently 'everyone' allows their DC way more.

Interested to know facts from others (not judgments etc)

Some screen time statistics

https://www.independent.co.uk/advisor/vpn/screen-time-statistics#:~:text=Users%20in%20the%20UK%20spend,minutes)%20(Data%20Reportal).

It looks like many adults exceed 2 hours screen time in the UK. Some of it may be work but not all jobs are screen based. The 11-14 year olds in the US statistic 😮

I found this too.
Obviously I don’t know how much others use their phones but I think that some adults need to look at their usage too.

Mine do all of those things, what makes you think that 2 hours of gaming means they can't?

DSS was given the opportunity to show us he could balance his own time, regarding sleeping, getting up, gaming, getting homework done etc.

He proved repeatedly he could not, and every time he prioritised gaming over all else he was limited to 1 hour a day.

They're not old or mature enough to realise the consequences of what they're doing. You have to be the parent and show them - which you're clearly doing by setting a 2 hour limit.

The only thing I would do though it make sure he does actually have things to do. I.e. time for homework, dinner, TV with family or whatever is great - but if he's just sitting there bored for an extra hour a night, maybe a bit more wouldn't be the end of the world.

DC does his games as soon as he gets in - that's his preference. He turns it off when asked, although he's often not happy about it and often asks for more. He'll then do homework or have dinner, depending on time. We all eat together every night, no screens allowed anywhere near table. He tidies up. He does homework or revision if he has some. He might play indoor football or table tennis. He'll watch a show with us or one of us and then he'll read for 20-30 mins before bed.

He does a sport which trains 2-3 times a week plus matches. Plus he does another after school club and has asked to start the gym.

He's not stuck in his room and we're not slipping paper thin ham under his door so as not to bother engaging with him.

I don't feel he's lost to gaming, I just don't want to start bumping up the hours on it. I do feel he's something more gobby and heightened than usual when he comes off Fortnite

My ds plays a couple of hours a day - either fortnight with friends or something like the new zelda games if he wants to play alone. both are actually far better ways to wind down than watching grange hill / byker grove and neighbours or home and away which is what i did 4-6pm after school.

Those who say 'no screens ins the week' - does that mean no tv at all either? for any of the family? I would say that ds does not watch tv at all, games are for him what tv was and still is for me (i watch an hour a night with dh 4-5 nights a week).

What real life play would a teenager be doing anyway?!

What would you rather he does while I finish work?? he does one after school club, and sports 2 nights / all day Saturday, but the mid week sports don't start till 7.30pm. He can't do his homework while I am working as he uses my laptop. he's 13, not 7.

But Fortnite baby sitting certainly got us through the lockdowns! Worth its bloody weight in gold!

It's how boys socialise. To be honest, I prefer my Year 7 boy playing Fortnite with his friends and chatting than doing some colouring by himself.

Yes it's different to when we were kids (in my 40's now) so it's harder for us to see that it's this way.

But what about you sitting on mumsnet, does that not count as “losing time”?
Games are fun, it’s a nice way for kids to relax and have fun with their friends. Obviously within limits!!

my daughter and I game alongside each other. We do the chatting, eating as a family, reading but it’s really nice to just take the stress of work and school off and game sitting next to each other. I’m a sims 4 player and she enjoys watching me play too :)

What real life play would a teenager be doing anyway?!.
Football , basketball, den building in the woods, whittling, going for bike rides, swimming, board games, baking etc. There are so many things teenagers can do with friends that isn't online!

The parents of the teens that build dens in our local woods might have a shock if they are gloating about lack of screen time 😅

In a city?? Whittling? Are you actually for real!! maybe pop back to the 1950's where you seem to be stuck 😂

"Honest sir, I'm carrying this knife because me and my friend are going to the park to do some whittling"

"Very well, go about your whittling, I must say though, there seems to be a very distinct smell coming from your den..."

"We're growing herbs sir, some good healthy gardening"

😁😁

"Would you like one of the brownies we baked earlier"

Mine built a den when he was about 15 with some friends. I am incredibly glad that that was just a one-off!

🙄 of course they do. DD1 reads in bed for the best part of an hour most nights, we sit and eat dinner together as a family (which they help prepare), both DC do various sports and activities each evening and at weekends. But 6 hours an evening of downtime allows for a variety of activities to take place all in the same day.

What play would teens do ? That's a sad attitude. You think literally nothing fun they could be doing outside?

What is true is huge cuts to youth and play provision have screwed over young people

But...football...basketball...skateboarding...tree climbing...simply hanging out with mates in a park

Teens are designed by evolution to take a lot of risks. Thats how they grow and develop.

If all they do is game they are missinf out on developing independence ..resilience....

Ideally we would have well funded youth clubs on every neighborhood

Teens are designed by evolution to take a lot of risks. Thats how they grow and develop

The risks to teens who are hanging out on the streets isn't falling out of a tree. Do you even have a teen?

No, my teens do plenty outside. But they ALSO play on their PS5. Their friendship groups don't tend to "hang around" outside in the evening, and local park closes at dusk. So they go on PS5 and chat and play with their friends after school. In the summer they might go to the park for an hour. Each of my sons cooks once a week. And both are national level at a sport which is done 4 times a week, plus they both volunteer with younger kids in a similar sport.

But there are 6 or 7 hours between coming home from school and going to bed. 2 or 3 hours of gaming in all that isn't going to harm them massively. 2 or 3 hours of them laughing with their friends isn't awful. I used to get home from school, turn TV on and then phone my friends.

We only have 1 TV and 1 console. So come 8pm there is no console to use because I want to want TV! Some times we do it as a family, sometimes we don't. They also have a very expensive lego habit!

Do you spend time outside on winter evenings?

I don't think anyone is advocating the gaming-only approach but in a lot of places local parks, etc are not safe after dark. I am always on edge when my DC spend time there.