AIBU to think 2 hours of Fortnite after school is a lot for a just Year 8 DC?

[likesandlikes]

I think 1.5 hours is more than enough but apparently 'everyone' allows their DC way more.

Interested to know facts from others (not judgments etc)

Only 2 hours?! You’re lucky!!!

Have you got teenage children ?
my child does football, rugby, swimming and tennis. He trains almost every night . He’s home at 3, training for 1.5 hours. It’s dark, freezing cold and bitter outside! I’d rather him be inside having fun with his friends than out roaming the streets like I did at that age!

its a way of socialising, like many pp have said.

Some school work and music practice first then 90 minutes but not even day.

I don't want my Y8 son turning unto a screen bore!

Too much if it's every night. I'd prefer one night of 4 hours over a regular every night thing.

Doesn't he have other activities? Sports, scouts etc? Do you go out as a family? Play board games etc?

I find some of these replies genuinely shocking. My 12 year old is not allowed to game every day snd the idea of him gaming from the moment he gets home til bed is really disturbing

for starters kids who have a sedentary day in school.will end up seriously unhealthy spending the evening slumped in a chair as well...

Lets not pretend that being sat on a chair indoors chatting into a headset is a replacement for the many other things kids enjoy

Yes in dark wet evenings it passes the tjme but there are football cages and parks with lights......and sometimes its ok for kids to be bored and cope with life off screen...just kick a ball about with a mate

It’s tricky. Same age kid here. I’d prefer to limit much more but his friends are indeed online longer than him and it’s no good to say go out play with your friends when his friends are playing Fortnight online and have no interest being out and about.

Winter and dark nights definitely make it worse, in summer they ride bikes , kick a ball about and generally hang out chatting and buying crap food from the local supermarket.

so yes, it’s about 1-2 hours a night here too and 2-3 hours at the weekend. I think it’s lost time and I don’t think it helps behaviour and feeling good about himself. But had screenless time for a whole and it just isolated him from his mates in his school and made him the odd one out. So that’s not the solution. I wish all parents would collectively agree to ban or limit it to the same amount of time.

You don't have to talk to anyone in Fortnite if you don't want to. It's far less toxic then MN

@Lostinbrum oh ain't that the truth!

After homework Dts can do what they like. They don't play Fortnite but do play Roblox and other games. They're out of the house until 8pm two nights a week and don't have any screen time on those days.

Ds1 spends far more time gaming than we'd like but he's autistic and found that playing helps massively with regulation. School is extremely stressful and with history of anxiety, EBSA etc I'm glad he has something which helps (other than youtube shorts). I much prefer him interacting with real friends than doomscrolling on his phone. He has an after school activity 4x week from 5 til 7 so when he gets back he's usually playing until 9.30pm. Weekends he has a 2 hour tuition session but other than that, weekends and holidays are unlimited. He won't meet friends socially so I guess it's the only way he interacts with them outside of school.

It's most definitely a contentious issue with DH as he feels DS is on too much but when he tried putting in restrictions midweek it made DS more addictive on the days he was allowed as he felt he needed to 'make up for lost time'. It's difficult. I think with an NT child I'd be stricter and encourage more clubs and activities. But I've had to alter my expectations with ds1 as he has zero interest in anythin and tbh I'm just grateful he's managing school and doing (most of) his homework.

Mine is year 7 and on it every day at the mo with the weather being so bad. I don’t mind- he chats to his friends on it, it’s only fortnite so is age appropriate. He goes to sports clubs in the week and on weekend plays in matches, he does his homework, keeps him room tidy and watches tv with me sometimes so I’m happy with it. He doesn’t get affected with it behaviour wise though- if he did I would then reduce it.

@ballsdeep Same. Mine do instruments and a sport every night. Often after school then a club. 1-3 hours a day. (More than most).
3.30-10.30 is 7 hours on the days no club after school or it's cancelled.
Too dark & grim to hang out outside and potentially not safe in our city after 8pm

Mine has 2 hour a day limit on his Xbox which turns off at 8, which he mainly uses for Fortnite
He has rugby on a Monday, climbing on a Tuesday and football on a Friday, Cheder on a Saturday and football on a Sunday, plus the usual out for dog walks, socialising, seeing family, out for meals etc. Whatever Fortnite he can fit in within those parameters he’s welcome to.
If they are in at 330 and have 2 hours, that still leaves 4.5 hours or so until bed?

They are not ‘loosing’
Most are playing socially with friends- my two boys chat all night to each other and friends and family from all over the UK and even family in other countries via Fortnite. They have a right laugh. I used to spend hours on the phone to my best mate as a teen and hog up the family line much to my parents annoyance. Not much difference.
It’s something they enjoy for down time. My two have worked hard at school all day, some homework, played their instrument and 2 days a week play a sport. What’s wrong with playing a video game around that?
What do you like to do with your downtime at home in winter evenings?

Kick a ball around with a mate? At 5/6pm in the pitch dark in 2 degrees freezing rain. What are you on about?
Why should a kid not enjoy something they like after a days school work and homework is done?
If someone turfed you out when you got home from work and told you to kick a ball in the freezing dark or said ‘it’s ok for you to be bored’ after work then bedtime what would you think?

My y8 doesn't choose to play Fortnite, but is definitely on a screen for longer than an hour and a half after school.

She does a lot of her socialising online.

ok @PurpleWisteria1 yes obviously in rain and dark its shit out - BUt let's be realistic, gaming is replacing outdoor time overall - my own child/ his friends - I see it, they do miss out or choose not to go outside because gaming is avaiable - Im v into getting my kids getting outside (and lucky we are in an area it's safe at their age I realise that) - but I can see that the lure of the game is often all consuming - and of course even when I get my child off the device and out with a ball under their arm - will their friends also be out? Or will they be gaming?

The picture painted here is that these children spend hours doing sports and music and then fill their spare hours with gaming

I know plenty of teachers who say it is the children who are most deprived - who live in flats or where it's harder to get out easily to play - who just spend hours gaming and apart from school will rarely do anything else

We have a health crisis for chilren - by 11 over half of 11 year olds are overweight - this is strikingly linked to poverty. In poorer areas child obesity is through the roof.

We also have a child mental health crisis - huge numbers of children and teens are unhappy - partly I believe because of the loss of free play/ independence/ time outdoors that previous generations had far more of

It's nice to hear of 'happy social gaming kids' - that is not what all gaming looks like.

And what is 3 / 4/ 5 hours of gaming replacing? It's replacing being bored - being bored is a driver of creativity! It pushes kids and adults to learn/ play/ make - let's not delude ourselves that sitting playing fortnigte for 14 hours a week is a healthy path in life - fun in moderation yes but that is not what many parents are fighting against.

And someone mentioned in this thread the leap to this hours of gaming from a limited screen time when younger - why is it suddenly okay/ healthy for a 12 year old to game for 3 hours a night - but we would want a 7 year old playing / reading/ drawing - essentially we would not think it okay to fill all their down time with cscreens (though Im sure plenty of 7 year olds do spend hours on games)

12 year olds are children and their brains are developing still - even tv/ dramas/ comedies would be a mix up for their brain rather than fortnite all the time.

Lots of people will say it's no problem but there is a huge mental health crisis happening in our young people. The main obvious difference from my youth is screens. Yes we watched TV and played a bit of sonic but it wasn't nearly as extreme the amount of time spent for most people. we socialised a lot more and went out a lot more.

Do a lot of children well teens still really watch much tv these days? I can’t say our tv is on that often in the main room. More once dh gets home, but then it’s streaming an exact show he wants not just having a channel on. We tend to have music on as background noise.

I do agree gaming goes up in winter/bad weather. In summer mine are often out in the pool, biking or doing target practice in the garden. We also go camping it’s not a game or outside world you can do both.

I didn’t have any limits. My son got top grades at GCSE / A level and he limited it himself during exam seasons etc

Other main difference is kids are encouraged to talk about it now, whereas in the 80’s you didn’t

Mine has free reign over the tv in the lounge when he gets in from school as I go back to my desk and work. Then he and his sister battle for the TV when she gets home an hour later.

It goes off for dinner (6pm) and then goes to adult TV after that.

Frankly I'm not arsed what they do with their after school time as long as they don't make a mess, do homework without complaint, and help round the house when asked.

"Kick a ball around with a mate" - it's not Last of the Summer Wine everywhere you know? Our house opens up onto a main road, and the nearest place to kick a ball round safely closes at 3.30pm when it starts getting dark.

Soon the parks will stay open past my working hours and there'll be plenty of evening time to go out.

Mine is year 8, he games A LOT. We both work full time and so once he’s home, he’s on and for most of his waking hours if he had his way. He sometimes does tournaments online.
The weather is grim, I don’t want him out when it’s dark which is currently about 4pm. I agree with a pp that this is how boys socialise. In the 80s I used to phone my friends for hours and give my parents a crippling phone bill.

At high school my sons friends lived 6-8 miles away, so it was how they socialised. No chance of calling for their mates to go out and about (and that would have only been walking the streets anyway as they’ve nothing to do thanks to the local authority closing everything down).