AIBU to think 2 hours of Fortnite after school is a lot for a just Year 8 DC?

[likesandlikes]

I think 1.5 hours is more than enough but apparently 'everyone' allows their DC way more.

Interested to know facts from others (not judgments etc)

They have 7 hours between school & bed. Loads time for all. They aren't zombies as they are generally all on with mates chatting

How many y8 dc do you know who are still having tantrums?

My DN was. Plus clearly a PITA at school. It appears to stem from just being allowed unfettered access to gaming and inability to control emotions because it’s an addiction. I’m not saying it’s common and, for dc who do other activities, it’s probably never going to happen. I just feel parents need to be very aware of signs that gaming has taken over. Behaviour can get normalized over years and parents start out thinking it’s fun and harmless. To most it is but not for everyone.

I think YABU, especially this time of year…what else are they meant to do at home? We don’t have screen time limits as such but DS (year 7) would play games all day everyday if he had the choice. I think these does need to be consideration that, to a large degree, it’s part of modern life. Friends playing together, being social etc on a game like Fortnite is a good thing, within reason. Kids also suffer today from far less places to go to, the attitude of people (I see plenty of people who automatically assume a group of kids are up to no good). I can’t really remember what I did after school at that age but my brother certainly came in and played games or watched TV until parents came home but he did that by himself with no social side to it. He’s done alright for himself and it’s not affected him.

especially this time of year…what else are they meant to do at home?

Reading,drawing, model making, playing with toys, baking, cooking, gardening, thinking, board games, chatting, washing up ...... what would they do if the internet went down or you had a power cut?

That all depends when they get home and when they go to bed. Mine are home by 3.30pm
They both do 1-2 hours a night sport. They eat. They do 30-60 min home work. We all eat and chat - 30 mins. Even if that takes max 4 hours it leaves 3 hours to shower & read or game with mates.. before bed around 10-10.30pm Age 12&14

I did answer earlier but have been thinking on it. I think it may be one of those things that when Ds was younger, I thought would not happen. Much like non organic food/ sweets/ cosleeping/ pull ups/ character clothing and a million other things I swore I’d not do.
Do parents (who work full time)really play board games in the evening with their kids? I love a bit of scrabble but when I get in after a 13 hour day, not so much. Boys in secondary aren’t playing with toys (generally).
Not everyone has an Enid Blyton life, most of us are simply doing what we can to get by.

That’s late to bed for a 12 year old. 10-10.30? Dinner 30 mins isn’t much family time. I think overall that’s what dc don’t do. Interact with family. Most of this about friends.

After school mine did dance, orchestra, choir, music lesson, guides, sport and then came home for dinner or tea. Plus they did homework. This was primary. At secondary they carried on with activities but added drama! Gaming didn’t happen as they were too busy. Ditto at weekends. We tended to go out and they didn’t plead to be left behind to game. They did have Sims but we watched tv together. Bed at 9-9.30 when secondary age. We were keen that they did as much as possible so they had a broad education and variety in their lives. I’m relieved they didn’t want to game for hours.

I think overall that’s what dc don’t do. Interact with family. Most of this about friends

Which is entirely normal, and appropriate, for teens. When you were 12, 13, 14 did you hang out with your folks every evening?

I didn’t spend my evenings hanging out with my parents as a teen, I was in my room.

Mine manage to do activities, watch tv with us after dinner and game. It’s not an either/or.

In my experience half the time they aren’t even playing, they’re sitting in the lobby just chatting to mates, so far we don’t have a problem with behaviour or schoolwork so I don’t police DS gaming time heavily, but maybe I would if I saw it impacting my child negatively.

My year 8 also gets around 2 - 3 hours on fortnite after school. He gets in, gets a snack and can play until I finish work. I work from home, so it keeps him quiet and out of my way. He then does his homework (as he doesn't have his own laptop), and can play PS5 again until dinner once homework is finished. It's not always Fortnite, but at the moment he is going through another Fortnite phase.

I don't restrict my two after school (y10 and y7) but I keep an eye on their homework and how they're going on at school. They never forget to do homework and are doing well so on the basis that it seems to be working I don't have rules.

We do have a 2130 shut down and no phones at dinner/ if watching family tv.

At the weekend there is a 5 hour screen time limit per day.

I agree. It's like how when books became available the older generation worried about it affecting the youngsters and making them more unsociable. Later books were good but TV was bad. Now it seems gaming is bad but TV is fine.

I agree and my DC do lots of those things alongside gaming.

I think it depends when they go to bed and how long they need for a wind down. My 11yo needs to start winding down at 8pm for 9pm bedtime. But if another DC only needs to wind down at 10pm for 10.30 bed then they have an extra 2 hours.

I also don't think all their time should be scheduled from end of school to bedtime. Sometimes they end up not being able to entertain themselves or make their own fun.

My DC play board games together. I must admit I'm not up for it after work either. But I play with them on Sundays as I'm off.

I do agree about having a balance that includes real life play. However most of the time when DD plays Roblox it is quite close to real life play. They mainly role play or make games of hide and seek or competitions where they make outfits on a theme. Plus much more. They are very creative and make their own fun when playing these games.

Yes, but we used to do solitary activities at home a lot including watching TV and playing computer games. But with online games they can interact with their friends and make up games which I do think is better than the 2 activities I mentioned.

I agree 9 hours is a worry but some DC can regulate their gaming without parents needing to do it.

You're not a complete failure. 2 hours on a week night appears to be around average according to this thread. Does he socialise while gaming? You say he does homework and chores too. Sounds like you're doing great to me.

Yes interacting with friends while gaming is great.
But I don' t agree with the people who are saying that playing computer games is theonlything their children can do after school as it' s " dark and cold," outside.

UndertheCedartree, thats nice of you to say that, thank you. I do feel a failure though as I never expected to have a child with this level of anxiety and aversion to extra curricular activities. It's certainly not how I'd planned things! It's been the same for years. We tried to take him to Beaver cubs when he was younger and he literally ran out of the hall on 3 separate occasions. Even now we try to encourage him to join a karate club or similar but he just won't hear of It. In the summer he learned to ride his bike (at the age of 12!) and was so happy. Spent hours each day riding around until some local yobbo took the piss out of him. Now he won't do that either. I'm hoping when it warms up he might get back into that again. It is sad though and I fear for his future a bit.

@justteanbiscuits As I said, I don’t think gaming should be baby sitting. 3 hours each night is a lot.

School ends at 3pm and it’s a 20 minute walk home. I’d say that the average y8 probably goes to bed about 9:30pm so that’s 6 hours. After homework and routine stuff like shower and eating, it’s not hard to fit in 2 hours of screens.