AIBU to think 2 hours of Fortnite after school is a lot for a just Year 8 DC?

[likesandlikes]

I think 1.5 hours is more than enough but apparently 'everyone' allows their DC way more.

Interested to know facts from others (not judgments etc)

It is how a lot of boys socialise. The weather is pretty grim and it is dark early so there is not a lot else they can do. When I was that age I would spend hours talking to my friends on the phone every evening talking nonsense.

As a teen I raced home and played The Sims and chatted on MSN for hours and hours some days as did all of my friends. We’re now happy, successful adults who hold down decent jobs and parent children.

I don’t get too worked up about it or impose strict time limits on gaming, I find if you give a kid 1.5 hours then they’ll play until that’s up but without a limit they might switch it off sooner and go do something else safe in the knowledge that if they fancy a little blast on it later they can.

I never set any limits for ds when he was year 8 (I am in Scotland, but think that is age 12-13? )

At this time of the year when it is dark and the weather is shite he played much more. Most nights it was any free time he had when he didn't have homework/football training/walking dog/dinner (helping with/eating together) etc. But I knew he preferred actually being with friends and his friends preferred being out and about, so as soon as it got lighter and weather improved he would be out with friends playing football/on bikes/going walks/going to mcds 🙄 etc and the games console would not be used very much. The console was mostly a way for them to keep in touch during winter months.

You need to do what suits your child, but I focussed on encouraging participation in other activities rather than setting time limits especially at that age.

@mambojambodothetango Ime with ds Fortnite as a game was not an issue, it was quite a calm game, where they were focussed on strategy and teamwork (and too much money on skins!) - the violence was animated and not realistic and he was only interested in chatting to/playing with friends. Fifa was the one that caused the most issues getting too intense, angry, shouting and me asking him to come off for a bit to calm down/switch to another game, and his friends parents all agreed their ds's were the same with Fifa! Maybe it was because he played football back then he was more invested in it. OP's child is yr 8 not 8 yo so quite a bit older, but if you have seen Fortnite and are not happy with it for your ds don't let him have it, my ds didn't even have a console at 8 yo! Each child is different and we found Fortnite wasn't bad at all (but he was already 12ish when it was released).

I've never really limited gaming as long as they do other things as well . By the time ds2 was late primary he spent hours on roblox plsying with friends and he's 20

25 years ago I used to come home from school and spend HOURS playing micro machines and sonic on the mega drive. Sometimes I had a friend over, sometimes not. 20 years ago I would get back and go onto MSN Messenger and various forums.

This is not new. As a PP said, lots of us did it and we're perfectly well adjusted adults with proper educations and jobs and everything now. DH spends some evenings gaming. He's a C-suite director in a large company - and deserves down time for his brain to switch off at the end of the day as much as the 16yo does!

I really wouldn't worry too much.

It’s swings and roundabouts. Last night my 12 year old had about 2 hours. He also did his homework, read a book and watched stuff with us.

today he’s had about 30 mins and is currently still at athletics. He won’t play again tonight.

we have no hard and fast rule in our house.

I have a 12 year old. He definitely gets way less time on Fortnite than his friends, partly due to rules and partly as the Xbox is set up in the spare room where his dad works 2/3 days a week. During term time he probably has an hour a couple of times a week and 1.5 hours per day on the weekend. It’s more in the holidays but I’d not allow 2 hours after school each day. He does sports & drama clubs so with those and homework he just wouldn’t have the time and in my opinion it’s way too much screen time. His behaviour is definitely worse when he’s been playing a lot (not just Fortnite though, Roblox also has the same effect).

My year 8 plays in the spare time he has. He has 2 after school sports clubs and an hours maths tuition a week plus homework. He also has to read for 30 mins a day. What spare time he has he uses to game- it's anything from 30 mins to today's glorious 3 hours (due to rugby being cancelled and no homework!)
As long as he's doing everything he needs to, participating in family life (we eat together every night and have also just watched an episode of Brooklyn 99) then he can plan his own leisure time.
Having said that he comes off at 9ish on a school night and plugs his phone in downstairs. I see notifications from other lads at his school asking him to come back on and play until quite late!

As soon as homework is done they play until dinner. Take a break then off at 8pm unless we have evening sports (which we do as they would game all the time).
So probably about 4 hours usually

No gaming here Mon-Thurs as there is too much schoolwork
TV/internet is allowed
No limits at the weekend or in the holidays

When your playing time goes so quickly, I’m 30 if I start a game I tell myself an hour next thing I no it’s 3 hours later and 1am, I would let them have a bit longer it really is nothing. And they been at school all day let them do what they want instead of more school/home work, studying it’s just too much. But then again I despise homework let a kid have fun!

I have a DS exactly the same age OP and it seems like no one puts restrictions in place. I like DS to be off of everything by 9:30 and in bed reading til 10ish but he has friends who are on easily until 11pm on school nights and some are allowed on all night at the weekend if they want to, even then we tend to say 11pm. It's a hard one to stay strong about when sometimes it feels like he's being left out.
He's a good kid though and gets his homework done and spends time with his siblings so I don't get involved too often unless I can see it negatively impacting him. The thing we have to remember is that they are socialising on these games, him and his friends have so much fun playing, it sounds joyous most of the time.

In the past he's complained that he hasn't had enough time to do something else before bed because he's spent too long gaming and so that's been a natural consequence that he took on board. It is a tricky balance but I don't think demonising something they enjoy is the way forward.

My year 10 is often on his pc/xbox from home till bed apart from dinner. We live some distance from the school and they all chat over the headsets. It’s not always Fortnite though. I’d be a bit concerned if it was always one game. There are children in his year group who earn money playing video games. From age 13 you can be a paid streamer if you can get the followers.

My year 7 I get to come off the pc around 7pm ish but she will still pop onto Roblox on her phone for a bit after.

Fortnite seems to of died a death here. In fact I’m not sure it’s been on since New Year’s Day.

Can’t say too much though as when Ive got no work on I’ll sit there from drop off to pick up killing zombies 😂

I think that the average year 8 is on their phones more than 2 hours a day. Personally I think that gaming on headsets with real life friends for 2 hours is better than being on social media for 2 hours.
Ime this time of year is more gaming heavy because of the weather. My kids went out but not as long as the summer months and some of that time when they were with friends probably involved more phone use than changing the music on their phone.

Thanks all, appreciate the input

I need to learn to hate gaming less. It's the world they're in and I brought him into it...

@likesandlikes The world of gaming doesn’t have to be all consuming though. I’ve definitely seen addiction to gaming with tantrums and bad behaviour when the gaming has to stop. Plumetting school results too. I would worry,

My DDs were never were interested. Looks like a boy thing.

I used to come home as a teen and play the Sega mega drive or once we got a computer in the house I'd spend hours on the Sims or playing Dogz and I'm perfectly normal. Me and the OH enjoy a game of fortnite a few nights a week it's amazing how quick the time flies. Better then trawling social media. You don't have to talk to anyone in Fortnite if you don't want to. It's far less toxic then MN

What’s wrong with playing Fortnite?

I agree, it can actually be a great way for kids to socialise, we need to get past the idea that socialising is only relevant when it’s face to face

No screen time during the week here. Years 2, 5 and 7.

DS age 12 gets me 1-2 hours after school, he gets longer on weekends.

I'd go as far as saying that playing it every day is unhealthy. Not been there yet but would make me sad, not so much the amount of time spent on videogames but more of what else they could be doing and are missing out. Maybe encourage sport, music, arts, reading, face to face games, being outdoors? And who cares what others are doing and as a pp said may not even be true! You need to set the boundaries you feel are right and get family involved in setting them with reasons why and alternatives. How about chores to earn gaming time? Or set certain days off to detox and realise fun can be had in other ways? Best of luck!

Screen/game time unlimited for mine once homework and any chores are done. And as long as they come off without complaint for tea/showers. They do that much sport TBF, they don't actually have many evenings free. In winter they game much more but in the summer, it's hardly anything. They self regulate well, if we were having tantrums about getting off the games, I would put in stricter rules though.

I know it's the world they live in now, and I know it's how they socialise. But it is still too much and I believe there's a lot of addiction to gaming and phones etc We've just brought in limits for 13yo ds, partly because we never saw him and he spent too much time on his xbox over Christmas. Rules are he gets home from school and does his homework before anything, helps with any chores and has his dinner (I got so fed up with hearing "I'm just finishing my game" every time dinner was on the table). He can then have an hour at any point between 6 and 8. If he gets an achievement point at school he can have 30 mins extra. We've got the Microsoft Family Safety app so times are controlled by that. Weekends much more relaxed but he can't get on his xbox before 10am or after 9pm. Totally screen free for 30 mins before bed, so he reads. It benefits the whole family seeing more of him. We make sure we watch stuff on TV with him in the evenings that he wants to watch (Stranger Things etc).