AIBU to think 2 hours of Fortnite after school is a lot for a just Year 8 DC?

[likesandlikes]

I think 1.5 hours is more than enough but apparently 'everyone' allows their DC way more.

Interested to know facts from others (not judgments etc)

gaming is weekends only here. Otherwise it takes over lives

I hard agree too. It's too much.
Kid's eye sight is affected by hours on screens not to mention their physical and social skills and the things they are not doing.
Have some nights with none at all, some days with up to two hours on the weekend but some school nights, for something so addictive, I would make it depending on whether they have finished their homework, chores and other neccessary life tasks like putting their washing out, riding their bike to get milk and getting enough sleep..

Comparing your childrens' gaming habits with their peers is not helpful if all their friends are gaming two hours per night, wearing glasses for headaches and short sightedness, getting seven hours of sleep and grunting answers to questions.
Don't compare your child with the lowest common denominator.
Seek authoritative health advice.
Kids have had to ammuse themselves for hours until their parents arrive home for decades so they are capable of not gaming for two of those hours.

My son is Yr 8 (12 years old) and has ADHD and Autism but is at a mainstream school. He has around 2 hours of Xbox per weekday evening and more at the weekends. Also TV for the rest of the time. I'm not happy about it at all but he refuses all after school activities and does not socialise after school due to his difficulties. I do make sure homework and chores are done. I have to limit screen time but to be honest in this dreadful weather he can't play outside. He just doesn't want to do anything else. Obviously I feel a complete failure as a parent as a result.

My DD probably has about 2 hours of free time around clubs, going for a walk, homework, dinner etc. Sometimes she might spend all that on Roblox with her friends, other nights she might be doing Arts and Crafts, watching something, reading, chatting to friends.

So it varies. 1.5 hours is certainly reasonable, though. We have issues with 'everyone else is doing...' as my DD seems to need more sleep than her friends do so she has to get ready for bed when they might still be playing Roblox or whatever.

@user1492757084 yes! this is what I mean - so many health risks - and people comparing with other children when let's face it childhood is in crisis

The idea that it's torture for a child to do something 'boring' ie. not on a screen for a couple of hours after school - let them be a bit bored!

my kids have plenty of screen time/ gaming/ tv / watching total crap/ whatever they want - but I also expect them to fill the hours in other ways

I read a lot of autobiographies and it's v depressing reading as a modern parent - so many childhoods of artists/ musicians/ innovators - were hours and hours of 'boredom' - ie. strumming mindlessly at guitars, going to a friends to chat and listen to music - writing songs, writing poems - for the more scientific it was taking apart radios/ carrying out mad experiments -

and of course just reading/ daydreaming

the rolling stones/ the beatles/ any singer you can think of - none of them grew up with screens - I worry we are losing generations of free thinkers/ artists/ singers/ songwriters to gaming.

but lets face it kids are copying adults who are also noses into screens most of the time.

My Year 7 plays freely as long as homework done. Sometimes he canes it, sometimes he plays lego instead.

I like to listen in - the seriousness with which they play is hilarious. One of his mates' sisters has started playing and they were coaching her last night - it sounded like very intense training!

I think the issue is (and I've had this too) that when kids refuse other activities we can't bear the thought of them being bored -

When we were growing up adults didn't care if we were bored - and there was always - if dry/ not raining - the option of just leaving the house which is becoming socially less and less normal for children (at a great loss to childhood)

My DD started playing Roblox in Y5. Probably only 45 min at most then. But by the end of Y6 they do want to spend more time socialising with their friends so was more like an hour or so.

I agree that kids shouldn’t be on a video game every days for hours and hours but times are changing.
Kids arnt out as much partly because roads and housing is so busy now - packed in houses and far far more care on the roads than 30+ years ago when most of us were kids. My kids do go out when it’s light with friends to kick a ball, ride a bike or walk around (tweens) as we live in a relatively safe place but I constantly worry cars and even more all the delivery vans who just seem to bomb around with no care at all.
My dad who is now in his 70’s used to go off on a bike all day long and come back for dinner- he said he used to travel miles with friends and parents didn’t know or worry where he was- he just had to come back for dinner.
But the places he cycles wernt filled with cars and loads of busy roads. 60 years ago the landscape of the south of the UK and how many people were living here was dramatically different.

We are in a digital age. Yes it’s sad that lots of things are being lost. But times do change. Socialising in the cold winter months was once done over a phone. None of my tweens or teen (who isn’t into gaming) talk over the phone now. It’s all over headset inside a game or Snapchat.
They still go round friends houses but even then as everyone has a console they often game there too.
When I think back to my teen / tween years and try to remember what I did after school for downtime, all I remember is watching hours of rubbish TV as there were only 4 channels. I would easily rack up 14 hours of TV in the winter months.
The pressures on both parents to work full time now doesn’t help either because so many parents arnt there when their tween / young teen get home from school or they are there but working at home. So the child needs to be kept quiet and out of trouble whilst both parent is working. Again, totally different 30+ years ago for most people.

@PurpleWisteria1 I completely agree about traffic and cars it's a massive massive loss to children and their freedom. And that's a reality parents can't change without huge social campaigning....I hope we see a push back at some point- instead I see kids just being driven inside to screens and the roads surrendered to cars.

Got a 14 and 10 year old who have just got their first console for Christmas. We’ve agreed that their previous 45-minutes-on-school-nights screen time can be used for tv/gaming etc and that they can have an hour each weekend day, and unlimited on holidays. Seems to be working ok although still early days!

My son loves fortnight too. If there is nothing else going on (he is sporty and will prioritise that above Fortnite) he wil do just that. On a school night he will often play the game after dinner from 8 to about 10. He is usually in with friends and laughing and joking. He is 15.

Somehow I've managed to avoid all this.. we have an Xbox and they play Minecraft sometimes and a meta 3 (upgraded this year from a 2) again played occasionally mostly at weekend. Never had Fortnite so really unsure what all the fuss is about. Yr 8 (12) & yr 6 (11) boys..! I've asked about it and both have declined which I suppose is a good thing. We tend to play board games in the evening 🤷🏼‍♀️

DD1 is in year 7. The deal we have is that homework gets done first, then whatever until dinner and then I want games off by about 7.15pm. With her and Fortnite I found she went through a period of being crazy over it, then the novelty wore off - if I'd limited it massively, she'd have continued hankering on and on and on after it, but riding out the phase lasted about 2-3 weeks and then she's back to spending loads of her time drawing on her iPad and things now.

You know how your child responds though at the end of the day - with DD2 she's a lot more someone who needs a hard time limit with games that engage her (not so much Fortnite as she's not bothered by that) because she will become utterly obsessed for a long period of time.

I have to say my DD is very creative - off screen as well as on. She's always making/painting/designing something. Even playing on Roblox/Minecraft for an hour or 2 a day still leaves plenty of time for doing other things.

the rolling stones/ the beatles/ any singer you can think of - none of them grew up with screens - I worry we are losing generations of free thinkers/ artists/ singers/ songwriters to gaming

This is daft. We have some really exceptional singer songwriters. Tv scripts have never been better. The vast majority of new books are fucking fantastic.

We are not losing any of this to gaming.

If you've not been there yet, then honestly, you can't know what it's like. I say that nicely - we have always been really restrictive, whilst pushing lots of other hobbies and expectations. And I think DC gets what we want from him - but the lure of being part of a group, the screen, the socialising and the fun involved - it's unavoidable for most boys, in particular. I only know one boy out of many of his age group who isn't that interested - and I think he might be but his parents are very anti gaming, and he's a very compliant kid

The current thing that kids are into always needs to be controlled and vilified. TV, rock and roll, dancing the Charleston. It’s like the parents of the world have always been, and will always be, determined to give their kids a hard time.

maybe an obsession with gaming will lead to winning an esports comp and them making mega bucks, or getting them into game design and building. Maybe it won’t. But it’s just one thing they are doing.

As long as they also meet their other commitments such as home work and household expectations then I can’t get too het up about them gaming. My kids socialise with their friends this way, especially in winter when I can’t just drop them at the park (we live in the middle of nowhere). They have the freedom to do what works for them and respect it enough to stop if I need them to.

Maybe it helps that I game too 🤷‍♀️

All the PPs saying their kids have no screen time during the week - do you mean TV as well?

Personally I’d much prefer my child to be gaming whilst chatting to his friends than watching a tv show, YouTube, or scrolling on social media.

The world has changed. Our children need to learn how to manage their time online. I have zero issues with (age-appropriate) gaming online. Two hours a night seems fine as long as DC are also getting some exercise and keeping up with homework.

It may appear they are on more than you think just due to when they have time to play.

As an example my Y7 DD has to finish playing by 8pm as she goes to bed at 9pm. So she could tell me that your DS is allowed to continue playing til 9.30pm. But of course that doesn't mean he's on it a lot more than her but maybe plays at different times.

Obviously there's plenty to do after school that doesn't involve gaming.

Thanks all. More interesting replies - and looking at the screen broken down into different bits - gaming/consoles; Tv; phones etc.

I hate the console but I also hate the phone stuff, like YouTube and Tik Tok, and when I see him looking at those shitty 3 min videos, I really feel depressed. It's all empty calories.

I have to find a balance, though, which is what this post is about

Mine played it for much longer than that 😃

The current thing that kids are into always needs to be controlled and vilified. TV, rock and roll, dancing the Charleston. It’s like the parents of the world have always been, and will always be, determined to give their kids a hard time.

Well yes but most young people didn't spend four hours a day (or more)after school dancing the Charleston

Just like Mumsnet minutes are too. My ds mocks me for being on "Mums Web" as he likes to call it.

We all have downtime. We usually always have a mix of "healthy" downtime (aka crafts and shit) and "unhealthy" downtime (aka MN and wine).

Kids are the same. Less wine though.