DH moaning that I go to bed early

[ItsDee]

So I usually go to bed at around 8pm most nights as I am just so exhausted with work and the children, I work 3 days per week and children are 6 and 3. I never know when my husband is coming home from work as it varies from 18:00-8, he leaves in the morning before nursery/school drop offs etc so the morning falls on me too. He keeps moaning that he just sits downstairs by himself most nights but I really cant help it I am exhausted, anybody else feel this way?

If you're exhausted by 8pm and not just a bit tired then you might want to get your bloods done. What age are you? How have your periods been the last year?

I am 33 and my periods have been really heavy the last year as I had the copper coil fitted, regular though

Work ft.. 4 dc here and manage til 11pm ish .. Get to the GP op...

Have you been checked for anaemia? Your tiredness doesn't sound normal.

Well, I completely understand being tired and usually I have little truck with someone dictating what time someone else goes to bed but 8pm is unusually early so I would be concerned there's more going on. Are you still having to get up in the night? Or are you just ind desperate need of 10 hours sleep a night?

If the former, perhaps you can work on that AND he could step up and do some of it. If the latter, I'd be concerned there's an underlying health condition that should be addressed. Although I'd also be annoyed that he's seeing it as a problem for him rather than a concern about your health and there's no question from him regarding what he can do to help you.

that is really early. I think 10pm is early for an adult. I’d hate to never spend time with my husband. Are you trying to avoid him?

I started taking Vitamin D supplements and that’s really helped my energy

Get your thyroid etc checked, OP. At least rule that out so you can be sure it’s the kids / workload etc making you tired and not something medical.

Have you been taking iron with your periods being so heavy?

Get to the GP, I was doing this and it was low B12 - had to have injections.

It doesn't sound right to me OP, sorry.
Go to your GP.

My partner works away and I work 4 days and look after our toddler alone when he's away. My mornings start at 5.30am on a work day and my evenings are non stop til toddler is in bed.
Toddler also sometimes wakes in the night but not always.

Going to bed at 8pm (and sometimes even sooner) is normal for me! I thought that was normal for those with young kids who work. Maybe I also need to see a GP judging by this thread 😬

I was feeling especially tired with heavy periods and I needed iron tablets, so would go and see your GP as 8pm is very early for an adult to need to go to bed.

I'm 35, on mat leave with an 11m old and a 3 year old. I'm often in bed for 8pm too!

Are you getting full night's sleep or do the dc wake you?

Ultimately, spending time with your partner shouldn't be another obligation. But maybe you could talk about what he could pick up to give you more energy.

8pm is really early and it must be really miserable for him, don’t you want to see him? Surely the 2 days you don’t work you could at least stay up?
I would get checked out by the doctors to see what they say as it is unusual for healthy adults to need to go to bed at 8pm.

What time do you get up OP?

Yes blood tests just to be on the safe side

What time are you up in the morning OP? 8pm is exceptionally early as a regular occurrence. I don't go to bed late 10/10:30 mainly, work FT + DC.
I agree with PPs it sounds like there might be something amiss

Yeah your DH is right, going to bed at 8pm and leaving him there staring at the walls ain't right. But I'm sure lots of people will pipe up and suggest it's his fault for not simultaneously doing a 60 hour week AND doing all the shopping, washing, cushion plumping etc.

I would be pretty upset if my husband went to bed at 8pm every night, especially if I only got in at that time. But more so I would be wondering why as I have never really heard of any healthy adult going to bed that early because they work part time and have two children. I echo the advice to see your GP.

My Son wakes up still in the night looking for me (he is 3) My daughter also has a habit of coming into our bed as she says she has bad dreams.

I go to bed at about 8.30. Lights off by 09.30’in the week. I have to be up by 5.45.
I don’t think this is especially early, particularly with young children.

I’m very healthy and haven’t had any kind of virus in 5 years.
I would get your bloods checked just to be sure though.

Oh Dear I thought it was normal :(

This is too vague.

What are your actual sleep patterns like? eg you go to bed at 8 but are regularly up from 12-2, then get broken sleep and have to be up at 5 am?

Or, you go to bed at 8, wake up once a night to sort the 3 year old and sometimes a second time when the older child wants to get into bed with you, then you get up and start the day at 6:30.

V different - the first one, I'd understand wanting to go to bed at 8. the second, less so.

You haven't responded to a single person who has suggested you might need some medical help. Have you considered it?

I think with all that seems to be on your plate, it's not surprising you are in bed for 8pm! Tell your H, if he wants to see and spend time with you to lighten your load by coming home early, helping out, doing a school run or two.
God forbid he's sat at home bored when he decides to come home

Hope your other half does bath and bed on Fridays and Saturdays to give you a break. Not sure if 8pm is normal, but sounds like you do everything.