DH moaning that I go to bed early

[ItsDee]

So I usually go to bed at around 8pm most nights as I am just so exhausted with work and the children, I work 3 days per week and children are 6 and 3. I never know when my husband is coming home from work as it varies from 18:00-8, he leaves in the morning before nursery/school drop offs etc so the morning falls on me too. He keeps moaning that he just sits downstairs by himself most nights but I really cant help it I am exhausted, anybody else feel this way?

Bedtime isn’t your problem here. I can understand the tiredness as I’m often in my bed at 8pm, though I’ve got a chronic health issue. He can moan when he helps out more

If you read the rest of her updates, it reads more as if she would prefer to avoid her wanker husband and going to bed is easier than listening to the selfish arse...

Are there not plenty of single people who live alone, I don't think they just stare at walls?!

Fair enough.

the rest of the OP's posts do paint a pretty grim picture.

You going to bed early is the least of it. My DH of 20 years has never ever ever pointed his finger in my face or called me either of those words. You are with a selfish abusive arsehole and no wonder you're worn down each night! If you're working from home he should be looking after the children. But he clearly just thinks of you as the childminder not his wife.

I'm sorry that the op has been experiencing such awful behaviour from her DH. How so many men get away with such terrible misogynistic behaviour is simply unbelievable.

Just read all the updates, sorry, but that's not a healthy marriage at all. He's living like a singleton and you and your children sound like an inconvenience to him. LTB.

Did i really not doing anything wrong by hitting his hand away?

Divorce him. He is an utter cunt.

LTB. He doesn't get to tell you where you work.

His long hours "working" may not actually be the job but are so that he doesn't have to help with the kids.

OP you are in an abusive marriage. It isnt ok or normal for someone who is supposed to love you to poke you in the face and call you a cunt. Yes going to bed at 8pm is early but I dont blame you for being exhausted if your twat of a husband does nothing. Leave him because you deserve better and see a doctor to get some bloodwork done.

An "early" night for me is 930pm but I don't do that every night, maybe once a week?
And I have a 3.5 year old, and a 11 month old who is still up a lot in the night.
I'd say get bloods checked too.

I have no kids, work 4 days, very physical job, up at 4.30am and yes I'm in bed at 8pm too. Can't be helped if you're tired!

When my marriage was bad I went to bed really early because I preferred it to spending the evening with my husband.

Your husband is an abusive gaslighting prick OP.

OP, your posts are really escalating now. I had been thinking the two of you need to have a good chat and make some compromises on both sides. Now it is sounding like a marriage not worth saving.

I'm also on iron pills and have been for ages. Still can't stay awake

However, this is awful. Your husband is horrible. This behaviour isn't normal.

@ItsDee normal for me too. 37, 3 kids 3 and under. Most nights are a miracle if I make it to 8 o’clock 😬

I needed to ask if I had done anything wrong as I felt so guilty about it and couldn't ask my friends or family.

He has time for her. It's after 8pm , the time that most couples get to spend together.

He sounds fucking horrible. Aside from what others have said, have you ever read the symptoms of depression OP? It can make you feel absolutely exhausted. And I can see why being which such a horrible prick might make you depressed.
If that’s not it, and you don’t feel like you could be depressed, could your subconscious be desperate to go to bed early to avoid spending time with him?

Apart from your husband sounding like a selfish abusive arsehole, you can also develop a syndrome with the copper coil that causes fatigue - copper is a heavy metal that can build up to toxic levels in the body.

So when she is in bed at 8pm he is supposed to do nothing at all. Also every other weekend isn't every weekend.

I actually think it’s completely normal. I have a 3yo and 10mo and often go to bed when the baby falls asleep around 8, not every night but some! If you’re tired and you need a rest then he either steps up and helps more or puts up in my opinion. It would be a good compromise to try and do a date night once in a while (I say this never having achieved it yet!) which can be in the house if you don’t have childcare so board games, nice home cooked meal and wine etc.

I don’t think so.