Taking my boys into female toilets

[Fredablogs]

They are 7, 4 and 2. I have noticed a few looks when I take them into the female loo. Am I supposed to leave the oldest outside? Or send him to the gents on his own, although he wouldn't as he is pretty much scared of everything.. ?? What is the etiquette please

Take your kids to the toilet as you are and don't assume what people are thinking when they look at you.

7 yr olds tend to be about the oldest age to let them in as this is still ks1 age. Once they reach ks2 that is getting too old.

Funny looks ? I don't understand why ? Makes sense you do that in my.opinion

I think it’s generally fine until they’re about 8. Provided they’re not commenting on anything, being a general nuisance or trying to look under doors etc like the young boys in the shopping centre toilets I was in the other day…(tbf I wouldn’t have wanted young girls doing that either)

Having said that, it can be difficult to tell ages, so people might be assuming yout 7 year old is older.

My dgs is now 8 and has said he is now old enough to go in the mens and not with me into the ladies. That seems about right to me. I would not turn a hair to see small boys with their mum in the loos. My main thought would be 'poor woman, can't even have a private wee'

Definitely don't send them into the men's toilets alone. You're doing the right thing.

Hell I take ds 9. Way too young for male toilet trauma..

My friend allows her 12 year old son to go into the women's toilets alone instead of using the men's (because she does not think the men's is safe for him) and IMO this is just wrong and a breach of female privacy.

What you're doing is not wrong. Your 7 year old is probably nearing being able to use the men's toilets alone.

Nothing wrong, much safer. I couldn't allow a below teen boy unattended in a men's toilet, I've heard of too many attacks.

That said, wait until he is ready and for now don't worry about what others think.

Since my dgs has been using the mens toilet Im pretty vigliant at waiting outside for him, I would certainly call through the door if I thought he was taking too long.

Id have absolutely no problem with this.

Totally agree with this. I'd do the same.

Well your friend is just wrong. I wouldn’t be particularly comfortable sharing space with a 12 year old boy but at least his mother should go in with him if he really needs to be there.

I would expect a boy of around that age to be able to go into the gent's toilets - in places which are not dodgy as fuck, obviously - by themselves.

Stand outside the door and if they aren't out in a few minutes poke your head in and shout out.

I really do agree with you.

I cannot imagine a 12 yo boy would be very happy at his mum making him use the ladies. The boys in my family would have thought I had gone mad.

What I disagree with mostly, is that my friend doesn't insist on assisting her 12 year old son into the female toilets. She just encourages him to use them alone and doesn't bat an eyelid. He's in senior school now and I'm sure his teachers wouldn't allow him to do that at school.

I take my 9 year old into the female toilets with me.

I wouldn’t let him go to the male toilets alone at that age.

He has no issues using the women's and prefers it himself (from what I've gathered).

It's fine👍🏻
The usual outrage posters must be on lunch.
They are coming though

If they are young enough to need accompanying they are young enough to be in the ladies. And its location dependent too... a local cafe is different to a place where the toilets might be full of drunk men or a big football stadium for example.

However they should be supervised properly while doing so and not allowed to mess around with doors, bins etc.

(Completely different debate to open plan changing rooms)

@apronbellybarbie , I think your friend is doing her son a disservice, a 12 yo boy should be old enough and streetwise enough to spend a few minutes alone in a mens loo, she is setting him up for ridicule and bullying from his peers.

I remember this stage, it’s a bit of a judgement call. I think about 7 or 8 is usually the age when boys start using the men’s on their own. I remember the gym had a rule that boys over 8 should use the men’s changing rooms.
It is difficult for a while especially when you only have one boy and like previous posters I spent a few years hanging around the entrance to men’s toilets in earshot.
12 is way too old though!

I think seven is fine, but getting towards the age (8/9) where they should start transitioning to using the men's.

It obviously depends on the toilets though, some are safe, others less so. I let the 6 year old use the men's where I think it's safe to do so because he's keen. I wouldn't force him if he was scared at that age.