To think my DH is being a big girls blouse about the the washing?

[KarenNotAKaren]

For years my DH Has allegedly been sensitive to wet washing - it makes him sneeze, wheeze and gives him itchy eyes. Apparently. He’s getting worse - when I simply take the washing out the machine he says within 30 seconds “Have you taken the washing out? It’s getting to my eyes already!” 🙄

I actually did an experiment in our last house. We had a kitchen living room open plan thing and when he was watching TV I very quietly unloaded the washing machine (he couldn’t see, TV was on loud too so couldn’t hear either) and left it all by the machine, and left the room. Came back 20 minutes later and he didn’t complain one bit or even clock on that he was in the same room as a pile of wet washing.

He won’t line dry his things because it makes his eyes itchy (🤷‍♀️). I can’t even have a sock drying on the radiator because it makes him sneeze apparently. I’d LOVE a heated airer as we spend an absolute fortune on tumble drying, but he’d make a right song and dance no doubt. Tumble drying is the only way he will dry his clothes. Even if I line dry mine he gets all dramatic if I come too close - “Oh god has that top been line dried - my eyes are itchy!”.

Weve just moved into a new home that has an integral washer/dryer. Well it doesn’t actually fucking dry anything? The ‘dryer’ part is a massive lie, so he wants to buy a separate washing machine AND dryer because apparently “I can’t live in a house with a condenser dryer it get to my eyes nose and lungs”. I sneered at him and he got really annoyed. I’d rather just stick with what we have and line dry things or get a heated airer.

I know I sound unsympathetic but I think he’s being so dramatic - I’ve asked his mum and he didn’t grow up with a tumble dryer, everything was dried on heaters and the washing line. He somehow survived childhood unscathed and his mum said he never had any issues. Yet as an adult all this OTT sneezing and “oh god it’s getting to my lungs that is” is going on - I just think he is being an attention seeker. No asthma. No respiratory issues.

Am I a horrible cow who needs to understand his sensitivities better? Do other people suffer like this just from being in the same room as a freshly washed sock? I’ve never heard of a single person who can’t be around wet washing. Or is he being the drama llama I think he is?

You need to change detergent.

I’ve tried. I tried the v expensive non-chemical stuff in various brands and he’s the same wether it’s that or wether it’s Persil.

I'd be tempted to do a (secret) wash with no detergent and see if he complains....

How does he cope when it rains on him?

Lol! I could line the underneath of the bed with wet washing and see if he sneezes 🤣

The weird thing is - he’s ex-Army. So the rain question is an interesting one - he used to literally sleep in puddles when on exercise, he’s braved the most dangerous terrorists in the world and he’s lived for weeks in inhumane conditions. But heaven forbid a damp pair of pants is within a 30m radius, he turns into a fucking Victorian maiden

I'd probably just leave him to sort it out from now on.

i am hyper sensitive to washing detergent, so have to use one with no added scent or my skin erupts and I start sneezing. What I don't do, it just moan about it. I research and purchase washing liquid or powder that I can use.

If it's not your detergent or soft rinse, and it's a new washing machine, then there is only one sensible answer left for someone who is so particular about it all.

He does it.

If it was the detergent - surely he’d react if stuff was tumble dried too...

Which kind of leaves, water 🤨which seems pretty unlikely

God he sounds a whiny pain in the arse 😂

Easy solution - he's in charge of all washing and drying from now on. I wouldn't pander to his nonsense

Sounds like a control mechanism to me.

Big girls blouse? 🤨
He’s being an arsehole, but you couldn’t find an insult that didn’t denigrate women?

It could be any of a number of things causing allergies, or it could be nothing.
You sound unsympathetic to me, but them I'm a person who has late onset allergies that various arses people don't accept are real because I didn't have them before I developed them .

Some people are allergic to detergent, some to the mould inside the machine, some to allergens which end up on washing dried outside (they are seasonal, but there are different allergens pretty much year round).

But I have no idea if he is really allergic to something or not, I'm just pointing out that weird/new allergies can be real.

He's definitely a drama llama. Have you considered draping a wet sock or two around his head while he's asleep? For fun scientific purposes.

No idea, I just came on to see how many people would pull you up on “big girls blouse” - haven’t heard that for ages!

You clearly did a scientific experiment proving that his reaction is imaginary so no you're not being mean, you tested your hypothesis! I do love my tumble dryer though..

Get him to take an anti histamine

I think he should go to an allergist and be scratch tested for environmental triggers (not pleasant!). But seriously, if he does have an allergy, he should know about it so that it can be properly managed. Send him to the doctor for a proper conversation. If he wont, you can rightly refuse to pander to his anxiety as he is clearly not taking it seriously himself

Honestly you speak about him horribly. If my partner spoke about me this way I would be leaving. and why on earth would you use such a sexist phrase 'big girls blouse"??

So is he seriously claiming to be allergic to wet fabric (as opposed to the detergent or softener you are using?) I mean, that's not a thing, surely.

Interestingly, a maiden is another name for a clothes horse.

Try something like Surecare. No perfume, etc. Non-biological. I can smell the perfumes from the washing powder on my DCs clothing when they come back from their dads.

I had to look this up but apparently Hygrovestiphobia is a thing. Maybe that's the issue if he's spent a lot of time in puddles.

YABU for using that phrase in your title.
Gross.

This.

how many loads does he do compared to you?

Doesn’t “a big girl’s blouse” imply flimsiness of the blouse, not the girl.

Is it WET washing that he thinks he's allergic to? But not dry clothes? That doesn't seem likely. Like - not fabric dust, but the fact of the fabric being damp makes him sneeze? What?