To think my DH is being a big girls blouse about the the washing?

[KarenNotAKaren]

For years my DH Has allegedly been sensitive to wet washing - it makes him sneeze, wheeze and gives him itchy eyes. Apparently. He’s getting worse - when I simply take the washing out the machine he says within 30 seconds “Have you taken the washing out? It’s getting to my eyes already!” 🙄

I actually did an experiment in our last house. We had a kitchen living room open plan thing and when he was watching TV I very quietly unloaded the washing machine (he couldn’t see, TV was on loud too so couldn’t hear either) and left it all by the machine, and left the room. Came back 20 minutes later and he didn’t complain one bit or even clock on that he was in the same room as a pile of wet washing.

He won’t line dry his things because it makes his eyes itchy (🤷‍♀️). I can’t even have a sock drying on the radiator because it makes him sneeze apparently. I’d LOVE a heated airer as we spend an absolute fortune on tumble drying, but he’d make a right song and dance no doubt. Tumble drying is the only way he will dry his clothes. Even if I line dry mine he gets all dramatic if I come too close - “Oh god has that top been line dried - my eyes are itchy!”.

Weve just moved into a new home that has an integral washer/dryer. Well it doesn’t actually fucking dry anything? The ‘dryer’ part is a massive lie, so he wants to buy a separate washing machine AND dryer because apparently “I can’t live in a house with a condenser dryer it get to my eyes nose and lungs”. I sneered at him and he got really annoyed. I’d rather just stick with what we have and line dry things or get a heated airer.

I know I sound unsympathetic but I think he’s being so dramatic - I’ve asked his mum and he didn’t grow up with a tumble dryer, everything was dried on heaters and the washing line. He somehow survived childhood unscathed and his mum said he never had any issues. Yet as an adult all this OTT sneezing and “oh god it’s getting to my lungs that is” is going on - I just think he is being an attention seeker. No asthma. No respiratory issues.

Am I a horrible cow who needs to understand his sensitivities better? Do other people suffer like this just from being in the same room as a freshly washed sock? I’ve never heard of a single person who can’t be around wet washing. Or is he being the drama llama I think he is?

oh god you’re as dramatic as her husband 😂

Its to emphasise the point

You're not just a girls blouse, you're a (great) big girls blouse

Same as saying 'you're a big old moaner', or 'great big idiot'

IE - you're not just stupid or moany, you are very stupid and very moany.

It sounds like he doesn't like damp and humidity in the air? Get a electric dehumidifier. Tell him you've finally understood what's upsetting him and you will be drying clothes indoors but only with the dehumidifier on full power to ensure his allergies are fine. Job done.

Some utter wet wipes complaining about big girls blouse. The BLOUSE is the insult not the girl. Yikes fucking lighten up.

Surely he’s a liar. He just doesn’t want to do the washing.

I agree it isn't a good phrase, it just belongs in a different time when background sexism and the concept of 'manning up' were more prevalent. It is from the same stable as sissy or calling a boy a girl if they cry.

and there are plenty of posters who object to that when it isn't "deserved"

MN isn't a homogenous mass.

Does he actually sneeze / suffer from allergy symptoms? You can see when someone is suffering; they're visible symptoms and they're horrible to suffer.

It's quite possible to have an allergy to this kind of thing. As a child I got a strong allergic reaction - bunged up, sneezing, streaming eyes - every time I washed my hair. Parents put it down to the humidity, but I guess it might have been there detergent. Thankfully I did grow out of it.

So he can tell if something has been line dried? Even if he was at work when you did it? Cuz of that’s the case it seems legit, but if he only kicks up a fuss when he knows about it that’s abit odd! And btw heated airers are lifeeeeeeee! Can you get one to use when he’s at work?

Oh put your big girl pants on @Irishwelshetal and woman up. It's a great saying, not used nearly enough.

@KarenNotAKaren yanbu, what a pain he sounds. What would he do if he was forced to do his own washing?

Am actually surprised you haven't got a bashing (yet) for your username 🤣

I think this is psychological and maybe linked to his time in the army. People can have triggers for lots of feelings and maybe seeing washing drying is one of his.
I would speak to him about getting support for it, either allergy testing or psychological support.

Yes, the issue is the sexism of the term 'girl's blouse' historically directed at men to indicate weakness/being like a woman, rather than the word big.

Just to chip in on the big girl's blouse. I agree that the we are talking about the floppy soft fabric of the blouse, not the wearer, and comparing it to the person being insulted, obviously. It's interesting how people are interpreting the "big" part though. I grew up hearing this phrase and I never took it to mean the blouse of a big (fat) girl, any old blouse would do to imagine. "Massive idiot", "huge drama queen", "big ol' scaredy cat", "big girl's blouse". Big to give extra emphasis to the insult. Maybe I'm wrong.in my interpretation, but I'm sure that the original intention has been lost with the modern interpretation of this old phrase.

As for the op, I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I think firm but kind is all you can do and the occasional internal scream perhaps! And if it gets too much then he will just have to take over the washing entirely.

It’s the scent I’m allergic to. It’s not enough to get non-biological it needs to be unscented.

The only ones I can tolerate are Waitrose Surcare or BioD laundry liquid.

Has he got hayfever? I struggle with line dried stuff in the summer due to the pollen/tree spores. I just take an extra antihistamine and get the fuck on with it though, no way would I be using a tumble dryer in hot weather.

@Irishwelshetal I was not calling you ignorant.
I referred to the following of an ignorant ( lacking awareness) interprepation (that is, the incorrect interpretation based on lack of knowledge [wilful or otherwise]).

So how does he use a towel? Has the drier de-germed it so he's allergy free when it's wet?

Dear lord get a life

The irony is that once people understand its not denigrating women or big women, just men, it'll be ok!!!

If you did a wash with no detergent would it be the same reaction?

Just bin him and live in gloriously line dried clothes forevermore

There is a simple solution here: tell him from now on he does the washing.
As for the term Big girl’s blouse yes it is sexist. Why not refer to anything masculine? Oh because masculinity isn’t good, feminity is bad that’s why.

I don't think it's anything to do with washing...if he's had traumatic/unpleasant experiences relating to water or wet clothing could it not be some kind of phobia or trigger at very least? He should probably speak to someone about that and see...

An insult of this format denigrates both:
-women are less than men
-men must behave in certain ways to be real men