To think my DH is being a big girls blouse about the the washing?

[KarenNotAKaren]

For years my DH Has allegedly been sensitive to wet washing - it makes him sneeze, wheeze and gives him itchy eyes. Apparently. He’s getting worse - when I simply take the washing out the machine he says within 30 seconds “Have you taken the washing out? It’s getting to my eyes already!” 🙄

I actually did an experiment in our last house. We had a kitchen living room open plan thing and when he was watching TV I very quietly unloaded the washing machine (he couldn’t see, TV was on loud too so couldn’t hear either) and left it all by the machine, and left the room. Came back 20 minutes later and he didn’t complain one bit or even clock on that he was in the same room as a pile of wet washing.

He won’t line dry his things because it makes his eyes itchy (🤷‍♀️). I can’t even have a sock drying on the radiator because it makes him sneeze apparently. I’d LOVE a heated airer as we spend an absolute fortune on tumble drying, but he’d make a right song and dance no doubt. Tumble drying is the only way he will dry his clothes. Even if I line dry mine he gets all dramatic if I come too close - “Oh god has that top been line dried - my eyes are itchy!”.

Weve just moved into a new home that has an integral washer/dryer. Well it doesn’t actually fucking dry anything? The ‘dryer’ part is a massive lie, so he wants to buy a separate washing machine AND dryer because apparently “I can’t live in a house with a condenser dryer it get to my eyes nose and lungs”. I sneered at him and he got really annoyed. I’d rather just stick with what we have and line dry things or get a heated airer.

I know I sound unsympathetic but I think he’s being so dramatic - I’ve asked his mum and he didn’t grow up with a tumble dryer, everything was dried on heaters and the washing line. He somehow survived childhood unscathed and his mum said he never had any issues. Yet as an adult all this OTT sneezing and “oh god it’s getting to my lungs that is” is going on - I just think he is being an attention seeker. No asthma. No respiratory issues.

Am I a horrible cow who needs to understand his sensitivities better? Do other people suffer like this just from being in the same room as a freshly washed sock? I’ve never heard of a single person who can’t be around wet washing. Or is he being the drama llama I think he is?

Two things - yes, he needs allergy testing and I second a previous poster that there very well might be a trauma basis for this.

Given the backstory, its entirely possible that he's unconsciously having buttons pushed by something.

Aside from being annoying and admittedly bad for the environment, is it actually causing any real hardship? Can you easily afford the electric and so on?

Fgs, would it be 'denigrating' to women if OP asked him to wear his big girl pants and just get on with it?

Being a big girls blouse isn't denigrating to women, instead, being a large floppy blousey garment is a reflection on the person being referred to.

@chipsewfast @Irishwelshetal
For crying out loud!
This phrase is perfectly acceptable if you understand what it means rather than the stupid interpretation of the ignorant

I like the phrase big girls blouse. I use it a lot

real allergy or not - i can't really get past "i sneered at him"

lovely

Tell him he's in charge of washing - and he can do it whichever way makes him least uncomfortable.

i hate the smell of persil
tesco's own is better for me
do you use persil?

I won't use certain washing powder/liquid because of the impact on my skin, so could be that. So try a different brand, perhaps non-bio, and also it would not be bad if a mask was worn then.

If he is ex army, this is a real thing. Honestly, my DH is a 35-year veteran who will eat shite, walk miles through mud or muck and rain, sleep standing up or on a bed of nails but God forbid his shoes are tight and rubbing his heel or his clothes get damp or wet, or are dried in sight The toddler never has a hissy fit as bad.

Washing is a big thing, scabbies and bugs can run through a camp like wild fire and has so, at camp it is harsh medical/disinfectant type washing detergent and dry in a dryer to kill bugs He still puts Dettol or some disinfectant into all our washes.
It is the least of his PTSD so I go with it, I would never pass a uniform or room inspection. He lived with for 30 odd years.

I’m allergic to laundry detergent too, I have to take an antihistamine before I go to the launderette! This type of thing helps me: https://www.justmylook.com/faith-in-nature-laundry-liquid-5000ml-p17408/s20278?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=faith-in-nature-laundry-liquid-5000ml-fin0060&utm_campaign=product%2Blisting%2Bads&cid=GBP&glCurrency=GBP&glCountry=GB&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiAy9msBhD0ARIsANbk0A8ANfNd_5n9cWhxXt_XS5h7CSOoeXfUWyyhFsBYBkcUHys1pfXG6OIaApGxEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

I'm ex army as is my DH and approx 30,000 of my family (i may be slightly exaggerating there)

none of them, nor any of my ex-army mates, have hissy fits about wet washing, cold feet, rubbed heels or anything. and if any of us complained about it they would a) have the piss ripped out of them and then b) told to find the solution (so from doing the washing yourself so you know where it is and that it gets dried to pissing in your boots and then putting them on wet to prevent blisters)

But i do think there is an issue here about the way OP talks about her DH. Nasty.

(I'm not keen on the phrase in the title of this, because despite protestations to the contrary, the way people perceive it is that it's against big girls, rather than the blouses)

He's talking out of his arse. You should put dry washing in, then when he's going to notice, take the same DRY washing out and if he makes a big song and dance about it just tell him what is he going on about, the washing's dry?

Sounds like he just doesn't want to do washing, to me...

This. I say this as a person suffering badly with allergies which only came on around 10 years ago. He really does need to get some treatment. Allergies can be horrible.

are you using fabric conditioner as well?

use fairy, no conditioner

Don’t be so fucking rude. It’s not a pleasant saying and I don’t care what sort of origins it has - the connotations are awful

Make him do his own laundry! Only reasonable answer to this.
If my DP had an issue with how I washed his clothes I’d no longer wash his damn clothes

It sounds infuriating, but there’s a cheap sensitive laundry liquid sold by boots, silver bottle, costs a few quid. Also ditch fabric conditioner, if you use it. What does he think he’s allergic to, water? Anything else he says causes it?

Also, allergy eye drops work really well.

@Irishwelshetal you are reading connotations where there are none
It does not mean anything rude or misogynistic or any of the other stupid connotations or interpretations

It is used to call a man weak or cowardly.

It is perpetuating toxic masculinity all whilst using women, femininity, feminine clothing and being plus-sized as an insult.

I understand it just fine, thank you.

It's not "woke" to think that the saying has had its day and there's no place for it nowadays.

It IS a gross thing to say.

Sounds like it is all in his head and I I'd be irritated with the theatrics too. We have certain items of clothing that can't be tumble dried and need to be dried on radiators in winter so I really couldn't stand this. It reminds me of my stepdad with pillows - he's had the same pillow for over a decade so my Mum bought him a new one. He moaned and whinged that it was so uncomfortable he couldn't sleep so the next day she changed it back to the old one without telling him and the morning after that he said he hadn't had a wink of sleep because of the new pillow when he'd been unknowingly sleeping on the old one. This is the man who travels the world for work and sleeps on hotel pillows all the time. Pathetic.

Honestly, theres thread after thread after thread on this site which allows posters to call the OPs husband/boyfriend/father a twat, dick, prick, idiot, all number of insults all the time. Its constant. Usually because the poor bloke has forgotten to do something or - gasp - got something wrong or isnt very good at something

And all of a sudden its dreadful to use the phrase big girls blouse (the big doesnt refer to the size of the blouse by the way)

Thank you - saves me from having to explain myself.

@quisensoucie I suggest you refrain from calling me ignorant again

Then why isn't the saying "you're being a blouse".

No... It is implying that being feminine and a woman AND plus sized is bad and weak.

Isnt this contradictory?

You refer to 'hissy fits' and then say that if there were such behaviour the person would have the piss ripped out of them

Which is what the OP has done, yet you say she is being nasty about her husband.

Tell him to take a daily antihistamine if he is allergic, which sounds unlikely unless you are overusing biological detergent.