To think my DH is being a big girls blouse about the the washing?

[KarenNotAKaren]

For years my DH Has allegedly been sensitive to wet washing - it makes him sneeze, wheeze and gives him itchy eyes. Apparently. He’s getting worse - when I simply take the washing out the machine he says within 30 seconds “Have you taken the washing out? It’s getting to my eyes already!” 🙄

I actually did an experiment in our last house. We had a kitchen living room open plan thing and when he was watching TV I very quietly unloaded the washing machine (he couldn’t see, TV was on loud too so couldn’t hear either) and left it all by the machine, and left the room. Came back 20 minutes later and he didn’t complain one bit or even clock on that he was in the same room as a pile of wet washing.

He won’t line dry his things because it makes his eyes itchy (🤷‍♀️). I can’t even have a sock drying on the radiator because it makes him sneeze apparently. I’d LOVE a heated airer as we spend an absolute fortune on tumble drying, but he’d make a right song and dance no doubt. Tumble drying is the only way he will dry his clothes. Even if I line dry mine he gets all dramatic if I come too close - “Oh god has that top been line dried - my eyes are itchy!”.

Weve just moved into a new home that has an integral washer/dryer. Well it doesn’t actually fucking dry anything? The ‘dryer’ part is a massive lie, so he wants to buy a separate washing machine AND dryer because apparently “I can’t live in a house with a condenser dryer it get to my eyes nose and lungs”. I sneered at him and he got really annoyed. I’d rather just stick with what we have and line dry things or get a heated airer.

I know I sound unsympathetic but I think he’s being so dramatic - I’ve asked his mum and he didn’t grow up with a tumble dryer, everything was dried on heaters and the washing line. He somehow survived childhood unscathed and his mum said he never had any issues. Yet as an adult all this OTT sneezing and “oh god it’s getting to my lungs that is” is going on - I just think he is being an attention seeker. No asthma. No respiratory issues.

Am I a horrible cow who needs to understand his sensitivities better? Do other people suffer like this just from being in the same room as a freshly washed sock? I’ve never heard of a single person who can’t be around wet washing. Or is he being the drama llama I think he is?

Big girl's blouse takes me back - to the sadistic PE teacher in my school. He had a whole range of humiliating punishments as well as calling the boys girls' blouses. He liked to punish people who came last in races in the gym by making the last person, or occasionally the last two, do forward rolls on a hard wooden floor to really give those vertebrae a good crunching. He also liked to make people stand on forms and sing nursery rhymes. We were at high school.

But my PE teacher would definitely have called your husband a big girls' blouse. I say that as a person with very bad eye allergies.

If he can tell the difference and can express gratitude for efforts that are made to dry clothes in a way that helps him feel better, then I'd pander accept a compromise of 30mins in the tumble dryer to heat the clothes and get that tumble dried effect, followed by finishing them off on an indoor airer.
But I come from a family where people have more allergies and related illnesses than you can shake a stick at. And have found adapting easier than waiting for then next level of manifestation symptom.

Could it be more of an OCD issue? He's got something into his head and rational thinking doesn't come into it. His control is tumble drying everything? Either there's a real issue (OCD/allergy) or there isn't. He should be wiling to at least investigate the issue rather than the fix being tumble drying everything- if you have delicates/items unsuitable for tumble drying then it's reasonable not to tumble dry them.

Fabric conditioner on wet washing makes me wheeze
absolutely no idea why as fine wearing it when dry but still smell it
think it’s a sented humidity

You could do an extra rinse cycle - that might convince him he's ok. I mean if he doesn't have a reaction when he doesn't know it's there, that might be enough to convince him that the wet washing is now harmless with the extra rinse.

He sounds like a massive baby. 🙄

This

I was feeling sorry for him until your experiment

I clicked on this thread to see if anyone had complained about ‘big girl’s blouse’ and I wasn’t disappointed.

Reminds me of my dear departed dad.

Has nobody noticed OP said she took a wet wash out unbeknownst to him and he never said a word?
Also 'has that been line dried' how can he react to dry item?
He sounds ridiculous, if he's insistent tell him to get allergy tested.

Originally I had a chuckle and sympathised with OP as the DH is being irrational here.

But... given the backstory it is possible OP has developed a phobic/ptsd/ocd response as a way of controlling and managing previous experiences.

Either way @KarenNotAKaren, your dh needs to seek professional help either in allergy testing or for phobic/irrational responses. I giggled at you testing your hypothesis so I'm pretty sure your dh isn't allergic. But his reaction could be a genuine response to previous trauma which has not been dealt with.

I would be sympathetic (but secretly irritated) until the point where he refused to seek help for his 'allergy'. But I love line dried clothes and can't wait for dry weather!

Adding half a cup of distillled white vinegar to the final rinse cycle is supposed to remove laundry detergent more effectively, maybe worth a try. You could try something natural like soap nuts maybe? NB These apparently do have quite a pungent smell when wet.

I find that after line drying in the summer when I'm putting it all away I get hay fever symptoms as clearly there is pollen trapped in the fibres which is disturbed by the process of moving and folding the washing. So I can accept that people with strong allergies can react to laundry in some ways. But if its having such a significant impact on the family that he's complaining about it constantly and its affecting their marriage then he needs to see a doctor and get allergy tested. I wouldn't be living like that for much longer.

You ABU to use the phrase 'big girl's blouse'. FGS, it's 2024

Really interesting about Hygrovestiphobia that somebody else mentioned earlier in the thread. Maybe this is a not so hidden response to his experiences in the army.

It could hard for an ex-army person to admit what they might perceive as a pyschological weakness.

And none of the above really helps with your electricity bill.

How does he cope with a wet towel after his shower?

Just tell him to do the washing from now on. Allergies or not, I couldn’t cope with all this whinging. I would have to say to him that the washing needs to be done, and you’re clearly not doing it right, so he can do it.

‘big girls blouse’ - FFS. A totally uncool insult - degrading to women

@Testina I was wondered who would try and throw that trope in as soon as I saw the headline.
For those of use old and sensible enough to understand the phrase, here is the explanation:
It means you are a big baby, not that you are the blouse of a big (fat) girl.
The big relates to the person being told, NOT the size of the girl (or her blouse)
The phrase means, 'you are a girl's blouse'. The big refers to you, not the 'girl'.
Perhaps understand English and idioms/phrases and their origins before screaming about insulting big girls

He's being ridiculous and I would zero patience for this crap.

Me too, I knew someone would, it always makes me 😆
But yes, he is a big girls blouse.

Has he never done laundry? Did he go from living with his parents to living with you? How was it managed before you were in his life?

@KarenNotAKaren Please ignore the ignorant who are trying to call you out on the phrase 'big girl's blouse'
They know not what they say

If that's the only thing he's so particular about personally I'd not make a big issue of it, just get a tumble drier.

Op.....the heated clothes airers are not very good....took absolutely ages to dry the washing. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ Only dries stuff if I drape one item across all the bars 🤔

@EdinGirl Nothing wrong with the title if you actually understand the phrase rather than following the incorrect woke interpretation