Are you bothered by going to other peoples weddings?

[incomeout]

AIBU to think that most people see going to a wedding as an expensive chore

Finding something to wear. Potential time off work. Childcare arrangements. Wedding gifts. Possible hotel and travel costs. Money for drinks on the day. Time taken for ceremony and all that comes with the day.

Yes it's lovely and all but aside from the couple that are getting married, others can't really be that bothered can they.

On the above basis - would you be tempted to do an elopement wedding, thinking that you would both save yourself loads of money on the wedding and save friends and family the time and expense of attending?

I love going to weddings and don’t see it as a nuisance. Elope because you want to elope. Have a big wedding if you want one - if guests don’t want to come; that’s their decision. We had some declines - I didn’t give it a second thought.

I love a wedding, so I don't see any of it as a faff or an expense I'm not happy spending.

But this is mumsnet, where weddings are seen as an outrageous summons.

I think each couple should do what they prefer, however I also don't like attending weddings. I've only been to a handful that I couldn't really decline (close friends and family), but I do find them boring overall (although wouldn't make this known to the couple, of course). If not a very close friend or family member, I would decline well in advance to allow them to fill the space.

I am not keen on weddings. It's expensive stress. I will decline unless it's unavoidable.

I hate weddings. Eloped for ours and didn’t invite anyone, just told them when we got home.

I absolutely loved them in my 30s. We went to so many that I’m nearly done now. Once in a blue moon I’d like a good wedding.

I agree with the poster above. I love a wedding. I spend on them what I can afford. If it’s close family then the costs are irrelevant (within reason, but close family wouldn’t expect more than we can afford).
If you want to elope or can’t afford a big wedding then do what suits you. Weddings can be done with little fuss or money if you choose it.

I'm not attending anymore weddings for people other than close family.

I absolutely hate them.

What do you mean by elopement wedding? Just getting married in a civil ceremony with just your witnesses? I think not including your parents is something most people would find quite hurtful, to a lesser extent also your siblings.

Definitely wouldn't frame it as 'not inviting you is actually a benefit we're giving you'!

I view going to weddings as a bit of a faff to be honest.

I didn't answer your question... We had a private chapel with 12 people overall (parents and siblings) and then a sit down meal and party the same evening that stated around 6pm. I could have done without the evening element at all but people seemed to enjoy it.

Saying that, we booked a party venue that was more than 30 mins from any of our guests houses so that was a big positive for everyone.

Weddings are a chore.

I've only been to two good weddings one abroad and cost me too much, the other in the UK. What was good is that most of my friends were there, there was an excellent meal and a free bar. This was also pre-kids. Every other wedding has bored me to death, I've been left hungry, miserable and cold and has cost me too much.

I would like to go to the local registry office just me and DP but he wants a party 🙄

I hate the monotonousness of weddings! Same sort of menus, same bands playing the same music and once you are in the function room they all look similar too! But every wedding I've attended I have enjoyed, despite dreading the thoughts of it and the cost of it. All that said, eloping is the dream for me!!

It depends. I’ll go if it’s not too inconvenient, I’ll probably really enjoy it if there’s a buffet and a piss up after. The piss ups the best bit. I hate the snotty mnetters (for example the ones commenting on that alcohol free wedding thread yesterday) that like to come out with things like ‘omg I can’t believe how sad people are that they can’t go to one wedding without alcohol’ 🙄

Well I'm getting married but it's where we live, not a posh venue, we are paying for all food and drink, and if you want to come in jeans that's just fine. For out of town guests I've negotiated a cheap rate at the local ibis and are invited people to ours for brunch the next day

Me and my fiancé are getting married this year. We realise after attending multiple weddings once we were engaged what we did and didn’t want at our own wedding. We personally find the sitting at formal tables for ages listening to boring speech after speech not “us” so we are having a professional BBQ put on instead.

we are having a live band and a magician etc so people have plenty of entertainment and we have encouraged people to wear exactly what they would like, no dress code.

there are lots of typical wedding traditions that we aren’t following. No wedding cake, no inviting people we don’t actually want there like distant cousins, no matching suits, no sit down meal. I think the tides are shifting on what a wedding should include and it should be exactly how you want it to be.

I don’t enjoy them. I wouldn’t care if I never attended another wedding in my life.

I enjoy them.

For the most part I don't think they've been expensive to attend.

Will admit I wouldn't be keen on going to a destination wedding these days but that's my only slight negative.

Oh and we have stated categorically no gifts, not money either - we will collect for the food bank and are collecting for a charity close to our hearts on the plate at the church.

I've loved every wedding I've been to. We just had a registry office and two witnesses as we just don't like the idea for ourselves. But love people who can be bothered to throw a big fun party.

We don't go unless it is an very close relative, I wouldn't go to a work colleagues wedding or a friend

I love weddings! I love deciding on an outfit, finding a hotel, the ceremony religious or otherwise, the big party, seeing family and friends old and new! All the pictures of everyone looking happy and gorgeous, absolutely love it.

Clothes, hotels, travel (maybe not so much on the cheap side unless you can drive), can all be done pretty cheaply these days, though I appreciate any type of event out of the ordinary can be too expensive at times.

I hate weddings. The service is just repeating words I've heard many times before so is meaningless. If you are lucky you about 25% of the other guests (assuming equal split between bride and groom and family and friends). I'm happy to go out for a drink with the couple to celebrate but I'd rather keep my weekends for things I'd actually enjoy doing.

I can them or leave them. I will go if the person is someone either myself or DH has a specific connection to and as long as its not a faff.

A wedding of a random relative 500 miles away, and clearly being invited "because they ought to" has no interest for me and I happily decline and send a money gift.

Its an invitation, not a legal requirement to attend.

Depends on where they are!

I love weddings in Ireland as the food is always brilliant and they’re loads of fun. Always have a great time.

Weddings anywhere else I can take them or leave them. I’ll attend if they’re someone close, but will decline if it’s someone I don’t see much any more, like an old neighbors child or something.

And I’m a firm believer that people should do what works for them. You love big weddings, have one. You can’t stand being the center of attention or you want to save money, elope.

You hate attending weddings, send regrets and a little gift if you can afford it.

You love weddings, buy a new dress and party on!