Are you bothered by going to other peoples weddings?

[incomeout]

AIBU to think that most people see going to a wedding as an expensive chore

Finding something to wear. Potential time off work. Childcare arrangements. Wedding gifts. Possible hotel and travel costs. Money for drinks on the day. Time taken for ceremony and all that comes with the day.

Yes it's lovely and all but aside from the couple that are getting married, others can't really be that bothered can they.

On the above basis - would you be tempted to do an elopement wedding, thinking that you would both save yourself loads of money on the wedding and save friends and family the time and expense of attending?

I agree. I find them boring, stressful, expensive and just a hassle I don't need.

I guess it might be different if I had one large friendship group, but I don't. I have individual friends from various points in my life, school / uni / various jobs etc.

It means that going to a wedding often entails me knowing no one other than the bride and my DP. I can spend the evening chatting to my DP at home, for free, in comfy clothes, so going to a wedding just doesn't appeal.

I also hate all the sitting around while the "bridal party" get their photos done etc.

As regards my wedding, I did it in the city where I and most of my friends / family live. No overnights needed, just easy. For those who had to travel, there was no expectation on them to come.

It was one afternoon/evening, not one of these whole weekend things, and there was no hen night.

I don't see them as a nuisance, I quite enjoy them.

But I'm not overly fussed. I don't see them as something I have to go to. If it's too expensive or not convenient, I won't go

Traditional British weddings bore me to tears. All that waiting around, speeches and generally lacklustre food.

If it's at all possible, I will always decline politely when invited to one of those

I don’t care if I never go to another wedding, I do find them a chore. When I got remarried it was a holiday / elopement. my only traditional wedding was my first; having said I don’t like weddings I do value the memory of lots of my family who have since died being there. So I think if I had to go to weddings it would be family ones only. Our main get togethers now are funerals.

Weddings are a giant pain in the arse.

They are always miles away, you then have the expense of travel and accommodation. Plus something to wear.

Most are really boring. The couple has spent ages doing something that shows how unique their vision but when push comes to shove, it's a wedding, they are all very similar.

Add in food you wouldn't have chosen yourself and at least one of the couple having now lost the plot with their 'dream wedding'

And to top it off, they want a present from you.

Not at all. I really enjoy weddings, consider it a compliment to be asked and appreciate the trouble the couple go to in hosting me. Im aware this is very unusual on MN where people seem to feel the opposite, that they're doing the B&G a huge favour and if the whole day isn't planned around their every convenience they consider the couple 'selfish' and 'entitled' and do nothing but moan about everything from the venue to the food to where they're asked to sit.
I don't really recognise this attitude in real life where people I know seem positive about weddings, or happy to just decline if they'd rather not go. However you know your people OP and if they're wedding whingers then you might be better saving your money then spending it hosting them at an event where theyll accept your hospitality and then criticise you for it.

I love weddings. But I only love weddings that can be easily reached by taxi and don't have daft rules (dress code for instance). Fortunately I've had to attend very few weddings in other parts of the country. I wouldn't go to a wedding if it was abroad.

I actually love going to weddings. It gives me an excuse to dress up since I never do anymore. I dont mind the expense involved unless it was a destination wedding.

I love weddings. We had the 3 years were there were loads of them then it all dropped off. Last two we were invited to were affected by covid, one was put off and we lost touch and one was reduced to the 30 guests max so we lost out there too.

I really want to go to one this year and take DC but nobody I know isn't married already.

I love weddings. Havnt been to one in years as all my friends and siblings are married.

I'm not really interested in going to a wedding to be honest. I see them as a massive flaff and to be honest the bridge and groom are so busy you don't spend any time with them. I try to avoid if possible - finding what to wear is a hassle, lot of hanging around, hate being dressed up etc.

I love going to weddings. Everyone is happy for the couple (usually) and you often learn new things about the bride and/or groom through random relatives/friends and the speeches.

I love a party and dressing up. Meeting up with relatives keeps the family history moving.
I was a bridesmaid when I was 10, I loved it wanted to do it again but no chances. Dad joked that I should advertise as a bridesmaid for hire!
I am now single so weddings are a good place to meet people.

I love going to weddings. I enjoy almost all aspects of them and feel privileged to be invited.

I've been to some really lovely weddings and it's so great to share the day with people I love.

I would totally understand if someone eloped too though. Weddings are expensive and family politics can be a right pain.

But this is mumsnet, where weddings are seen as an outrageous summons.

I agree. I love a wedding. At our age we get invited to very few and they tend to be family weddings. The last one we went to was a register office marriage ceremony and a do at a local tapas bar, with all drinks paid for by the hosts.

My dress cost about £24, DH wore some clothes he already had and DD bought a new suit. Our major cost was fuel for the drive to London and a stay in rooms over a pub. It was a lovely day, thoroughly enjoyed by all.

I don't understand the MN hatred of weddings. They needn't be as expensive to attend as people make out they are.

I don't like weddings and try to avoid them. They're long, boring, too much standing around, small talk with people you don't know.
My idea of hell.

It's really weird and misanthropic to have a blanket hatred of weddings. At the end of the day all they're meant to be is an opportunity to spend the day/night with people you supposedly like, and to celebrate two of them being happy. Those posters write as though they're being forcibly dragged to strangers' weddings, not anyone they have a positive relationship with.

But then a disturbing proportion of MN does seem to hate their friends and family and treat them with contempt.

I've enjoyed pretty much every wedding I've been to, I think. They've all varied, some cost more than others, but I've got a great group of friends and it's always enjoyable to have a party with them. Back in my more broke days I had to miss a couple of weddings because of the expense, and no one minded. My least favourite wedding was probably DP's distant cousin's, because we were firmly on the boring family rather than fun friends side, and he's not even especially close to that side of the family. I mostly talked to a sullen teenage niece who definitely didn't want to be there then we snuck out early.

I used to love them. Now I don’t. Because the couple are consistently unreasonable with their expectations. They ruin it. It’s a massive shift in the last 15 years.

I love a good wedding. Even better if it's a family wedding and my husbands siblings, cousin, all their children. (I have no family now, beside my grown up children and grandchildren) as a big family get together really is so special.

That said I love a friend, colleague or distant relatives wedding equally.

I 've been to 4 weddings (including my own). All were utterly boring (including my own 😂).
I don't like formal/fancy clothing. I don't enjoy formal meals. I don't enjoy the "typical" weddingy things like dancing, posing for photos, having people make cringey speeches, alcohol etc.
Basically - I have no desire to attend one ever again because they are just so dull.
If my daughter, nieces or nephew get married I will suck it up and attend - but anyone else. Sorry....I just won't really want to go.

No don't see it as a chore. Don't get invited now I'm middle aged . Finding an outfit doesn't need to be expensive. It's a great excuse for a day out.

I thought as a single mum I had the perfect excuse but turns out the wedding I've been sent a save the date for is when my son is with his dad in the summer.
I like the couple, but they aren't close friends and I really can't pretend I'm bothered either way whether they get married!

Some people really do love a wedding though, whereas I've never wanted my own, let alone other people's.

I love a wedding the last 1 was one of my Dc so had to go😀 but i will always try and go to a wedding.

I dread getting invited to weddings, for all the reasons Op has listed.

My 38 year old brother absolutely loves weddings. He had said in the past,they are his favourite social event 😂