Are you bothered by going to other peoples weddings?

[incomeout]

AIBU to think that most people see going to a wedding as an expensive chore

Finding something to wear. Potential time off work. Childcare arrangements. Wedding gifts. Possible hotel and travel costs. Money for drinks on the day. Time taken for ceremony and all that comes with the day.

Yes it's lovely and all but aside from the couple that are getting married, others can't really be that bothered can they.

On the above basis - would you be tempted to do an elopement wedding, thinking that you would both save yourself loads of money on the wedding and save friends and family the time and expense of attending?

The weddings I’ve been to have been so much fun! Big estates with great food, great to walk around and explore, fun entertainment and of course the bride and groom make a wonderful couple. I guess I’m lucky in that respect! Any old do might be a pain.

The key is to not have everything really expensive and awkward for guests. Also give lots of notice! It’s the hen dos that are annoying.

I love weddings and never find them a nuisance to go to but they’re normally on a weekend day and we don’t work weekends so don’t even need to take leave for it.
Love staying at the hotel the night before so we can get ready in not such a hurry or driving up and creasing our clothes or risk being late etc, then having a few drinks with whoever is around the night before too.
Just really enjoy everything about them, even the ones where others would moan about them!

It may be different if I had heaps but I have one or two a year at most and they’re people I like, so very exciting.

I enjoy going to weddings but that might be because it doesn’t happen very often. I’ve only been to four in my life, including my own. So when I get invited to a wedding it feels like an exciting special occasion. If I was having to go to one several times a year I could see it getting annoying.

DH and I don't tend to drink and find that most weddings are just about drinking. If you're not drunk, it's just a lot of waiting around and generally a very "cookie cutter" experience.

That said, I've been to a handful of absolutely epic weddings. All people I love very dearly, in very unique settings, amazing live music, beautiful food and guests who don't behave like it's a stag do.

Another one who doesn’t really enjoy weddings. I find them quite boring and the expense can be annoying.

Danish weddings are so fucking dull and I would rather scratch out my eyes. Struggled to get through my own (blessing). LOVE a British wedding though.

The wedding ceremonies are ok if conveniently located. The receptions generally are boring and predictable and dreary. For a long time now, we just attend the actual vows and skip the rest.

I love the ceremony, meal, speeches, and all the formal parts of a wedding. When the partying starts I stay just long enough to not be rude, but I hate that part.

I think it depends how close you are to the bride or groom. Well it does for me.

The last wedding I went to was my brother's, more than 25 years ago. I've had invitations to various niece and nephew weddings in recent years but I've quickly and politely declined them all, with no obvious negative comeback on me. The problem for me is that I feel very self-conscious at social occasions (and weddings naturally fall into this category) because I've always been single. At my present age of 52, I'd feel rather awkward attending without a wife or partner with me, especially alongside siblings and in-laws and even younger people with their partners. And then there's wondering which random stranger you'll be seated with at the reception. So, perhaps a selfish attitude but justified to me at least.

Anyway, I don't have a thing to wear!

My heart sinks when I receive a wedding invitation.

I enjoy the actual ceremony, that’s nice, but then I am done. I don’t want to stand around for 90 minutes whilst photographer takes 30000 snaps. Then have to wend my way somewhere else and wait for ages for B and G to appear. Then finally sit down with a load of people I might not even know, and eat food I haven’t chosen. Then the shit boring speeches, then finally, the absolute worst bit, the evening do.

If I could just attend the ceremony I would go to so many more. I think that will be my new strategy actually…

I think they’re tedious, but you just plaster a smile on and look happy.🙂

I like going to weddings though haven't been too many, most of my friends and family are not married, and those who are have been low key and mindful of the cost and time needed to attending. Keeping it down or exciting not everyone can attend.

I love weddings, particularly overseas ones or ones in UK country hotels where you can make a weekend of it.

I love a wedding and if I am invited by a couple to theirs I feel honoured knowing they generally cost a fair bit and numbers are usually restricted. Therefore I am polite enough to RSVP in a timely manner and explain why I can't attend if that is the case but would still send a gift in that situation.

I can never understand the moans and non attendance/non RSVP threads on here. It is simple manners ro accept or decline if that's what you want to do.

I generally only get invited to weddings from people I'm actually friends with (and family) so I like them. It's usually a chance to catch up with other friends or family. I don't buy a new outfit every time, and now kids are older so don't need childcare. (I think gps babysat for a total of 4 weddings when DC were young, and some of that did include driving 1.5 hrs each way to drop the kids there which would have been more tricky if they lived further away)

I don't see celebrating the life events of those I care about as a tedious chore to endure.

I LOVE weddings. I wouldn't book time off work for one but everyone I know has had their wedding on a weekend. I don't need childcare nowadays and love wearing a nice dress!

I generally enjoy them, but we just got two witnesses and went down to the register office ourselves. We both have giant families and a lot of widely-scattered friends and couldn’t face the organisation on top of demanding jobs.

Absolutely love weddings, it's always such a happy occasion and seeing everyone so happy to be there and celebrate. As a child I found them boring but as an adult I absolutely love them. I think you'd have to be quite a miserable person to not enjoy them tbh!

I enjoy a wedding but most I’ve been to have been family ones or from either my group of friends or partners - we’ve all known each other a long time so lots of people to chat to. It’s nice to have an excuse to dress up and have a drink and a dance with DP, the mood is always good. Yes they are samey (even the ones who try and make it “different”) but I like them.

i love a wedding …..

I think that we all enjoy different things, and feel it's quite miserable to label others miserable.
You enjoy a good wedding - great!
I don't really enjoy big social events like weddings but am still a very happy and joyful person - also great!

Honestly as a general rule, yes. I can't stand traditional weddings. I basically disapprove of the whole concept (while I understand that marriage has a lot of good practical applications). I find the idea of a woman being "given away" to a man nauseating.

I also loathe what weddings bring out in people: the narcissism, the attention seeking, the tears and tantrums and the weird thing that happens among female friends when everyone is fighting for their place in the pecking order to be close to the bride (ridiculous dramas over who gets to be bridesmaid complete with flouncing and bitching). It's all a bit Lord of the Flies but with a dash of Jackie Collins. They are also usually grotesquely expensive, both for the hosts and the visitors, and people get obsessed with entirely irrelevant and trivial details about the menu and the table settings etc.

And they are naff. The clothes are usually horribly naff (however tasteful they are supposed to be): the music is naff and food is naff. They are designed to appeal to a middle of the road elderly maiden aunt. And they are usually hosted in naff venues where you can tell the venue host has had to "diversify" because they can't make money from being a farmer any more. Or gross big hotels with hideous decor.

And above all I hate them because of the way women have been brainwashed into thinking a wedding is the summit of what they can achieve in life.

That said, I've been to two or three weddings which have been genuinely lovely because people have gone out of their way to make them special and personal. But I'd rather eat my own hair than sit through another cookie cutter wedding. Thankfully most of my friends who are going to get married have now done so (and some of them have since divorced), so I haven't been to one for many years.