To think a no cooking after 10pm ban is a bit much?

[Dontknowwhattodo123456]

currently staying at my father in laws,

his other grown up children still live here.

for context: it’s a big 4 bed council flat (this will be relevant)

We’re temporarily stay here whilst our place undergoes some work. i always have dinner pretty early with my son so it’s never an issue for me. But fights are literally ensuing every night over this.

if my OH or any or his other siblings start cooking at 9:40pm he starts going nuts saying ‘you’re not normal, no one is cooking at this time, this is not fair on your neighbours etc’ and he goes pretty mental over the whole thing. ‘If cooking is not completely finished by 10pm i we throw your dinner on the streets’.

last night he physically grabbed my brother in law’s/his son’s pans off the hob to start shoving back in the cupboard.

to cut a long story short - I’m just wondering, is it mental to cook dinner at this time? And in which case is he now right to have implemented this 10pm curfew. Or is my father mad?

feel like it’s a mad house here and I don’t even know objectively who’s right in this situation.

thanks!

He's not unreasonable at all, his house! If someone works late then they should prepare food/snacks in advance. As others have said he's probably sick of his adult kids taking over. He seems to be generous enough letting everyone live there.

Yeah, personally I wouldn’t want to smell frying food after about 8 pm. I wouldn’t mind microwaved , it’s just the frying and the extractor that’s a bit much

They don’t stay quiet between 7am and 9am though. They go to the loo, make a cuppa, go out to fetch newspapers (FIL). None of it quietly. So it’s a no.

I think eating at this time is too late but people can have different patterns due to work or other circumstances. Cooking at this time affects others by smell and noise especially if it’s open plan area. However FIL is very unreasonable in how he approaches it, it seems that he wants his children out.
By the way does him sitting until 1 am affect others e.g by any light or noise?

I don't think his behaviour is acceptable at all to talk about throwing food on the street, etc. But eating a main meal that late is really bad for digestion if you are going to sleep just a couple of hours later. Also very bad for weight. You need to eat earlier in the day.

Suck it up. As a million other people have said, his house, his rules. Respect Ur hosts wishes or live somewhere else. Simples.

When my sons were teenagers at home the kitchen shut at 8pm. If they wanted food after that it was a takeaway and plates and cutlery in the dishwasher after!

I cook at all hours. It doesn't wake my partner or kids and my kitchen isn't directly next to my neighbours house so no risk of disturbing them. I do all sorts threw the night, your dad would hate me 🤣🤣 I deep clean my house, wash windows, hoover etc. noone has ever complained and when mentioning my threw the night activities they told me they've never heard anything at all. Also it does not disturb my partner or children, they sleep right threw it 🤣

So personally I would consider your dad unreasonable. 🤣🤣 But! As others have said it is his house his rules, so accept it or move. I live in my own house so I set the rules 🥳✌️

I agree, his house, his rules.

THAT SAID, LOTS of people are cooking at that hour, for all sorts of reasons. Many are shift workers. Some are just night owls. I'd drive him utterly crazy. I eat my "lunch" at 11 PM, and my "dinner at about 4 AM, before going to bed at 8 AM.

In most attached flats, the kitchens in the units back up to each other, for reasons having to do with running plumbing and heavier-duty wiring, so the noise from a kitchen would mostly only be heard in the kitchen of the adjoining flat.

Yes, I would find it annoying, especially with so many people living in one small space. Why can't each person take responsibility for an evening and cook a lasagne, spag bol, casserole, chilli, cottage pie, tray bake, etc for everyone - and those that get in late, just heat up their portion? A lot more economic and caring that having the stove and oven in full use for over 5 hours. FIL must think you're all taking the P with his energy bill. And if he's putting everyone up, the least you can all do is make an evening meal for him at least 5 days a week.

Yes. was wondering how the council flat bit was relevant? Why does he have such a large council flat anyway and how is he allowed to be having so many guests there?

Unless there is extenuating circumstances, I don’t think that ‘ask’ is unreasonable.

YABU
His house and you should have asked first.

Are they cooking late because the other people in the household were cooking earlier? If you don't mind me asking , is your FiL from another culture? Is it because he may have had people commenting about the smell of spicy food coming from his property in the past? Perhaps your husband can tell his brother to cook the food earlier in the day so it only has to be warned back up when they want to eat. Then there wouldn't be so much noise/ cooking smells late at night.

This would drive me nuts . It’s his evening too, he wants to relax & is probably unable with cooking going on in the same room. It’s his home, respect his rules.

It seems as if he is very accommodating in having so many people staying in his house. Perhaps he's just exhausted with all the activity and wants a bit of peace and quiet - and no mess - in the evening. If occasionally someone cooks later in the evening perhaps that's OK but I can see his point of view if it happens fairly regularly.