To think a no cooking after 10pm ban is a bit much?

[Dontknowwhattodo123456]

currently staying at my father in laws,

his other grown up children still live here.

for context: it’s a big 4 bed council flat (this will be relevant)

We’re temporarily stay here whilst our place undergoes some work. i always have dinner pretty early with my son so it’s never an issue for me. But fights are literally ensuing every night over this.

if my OH or any or his other siblings start cooking at 9:40pm he starts going nuts saying ‘you’re not normal, no one is cooking at this time, this is not fair on your neighbours etc’ and he goes pretty mental over the whole thing. ‘If cooking is not completely finished by 10pm i we throw your dinner on the streets’.

last night he physically grabbed my brother in law’s/his son’s pans off the hob to start shoving back in the cupboard.

to cut a long story short - I’m just wondering, is it mental to cook dinner at this time? And in which case is he now right to have implemented this 10pm curfew. Or is my father mad?

feel like it’s a mad house here and I don’t even know objectively who’s right in this situation.

thanks!

You need to get oragnised as a set of adults and take turns to cook food that can be heated up if someone comes back from a shift late at night. Coming home drunk from the pub and fancying a fry up in someone else's house is obviously rude, but if people work late, someone else in the house should have cooked enough for them to eat on their return.

Why aren’t you making dinner for your husband and Bil at the same time and leaving it for them to heat up?

Why us this the OPs job?

The war is waging between fil and bil

BIL does this on purpose to piss off FIL?

We regularly cook at that time as 3 days/week DH doesn't get home from work until after 9pm. It's not usually noisy I think your FIL's rules are a bit unreasonable, but given that it's his flat they should be obeyed.

Yes, I'm with FIL. Unless there is a reason to start cooking late then I like to have dinner cooked, eaten and kitchen clean and tidy by the time I sit down to relax in the evening.

"Nocturnal' people are generally just people who are lazy and don't want to be part of normal society- the types that don't work and spend all day in bed and play a lot of computer games.

I don’t think the conventions of meal times are particularly relevant. It should be enough that the home owner has asked that cooking be restricted to certain hours.

Fil is floundering a bit talking about what’s normal/fair on the neighbours etc but really it’s just profoundly disrespectful behaviour by his sons. They’re acting like teenagers rebelling against daddy’s rules instead of co habiting adults.

I’d say FIL is not mental, he’s set a reasonable rule and it should be followed.
Must be really annoying living in an open plan flat for people to be cooking from early to late.

I'm in a small Housing Association block, and since Grenfell we've had new smoke alarms fitted that are all connected. If someone burns the toast and sets their smoke alarm off, ALL our smoke alarms go off. It's annoying enough when it happens in the middle of the day, but at that time of night it's incredibly antisocial.

Does BiL clear up after his meal, or does he leave it until the morning?

If he does it after eating, that means there's pots and pans clattering at 1030ish.

If he leaves it until morning, maybe FIL is fed up with his home and the area he likes to relax in looking a cluttered mess and smelling of food.

Judgemental much. Maybe they have recognised sleep problems.

It’s his home. His rules.

Sounds like he's sick to death of all the failure to launches living there as well as the ones there temporarily.

It's his house, he doesn't want people cooking late at night.

Why can't someone (take it in turns) cook a meal big enough for everyone, earlier, and people can heat theirs up?

I agree. Unless there is a shift work situation, he deserves to be able to set the rules and peace and quiet after 10 is reasonable. He’s being very generous allowing everyone to live there.

His house, his rules and it's very late unless someone on shift work

If your a shift worker completely normal, I'd be unhappy if someone said I couldn't cook my dinner, not all of us can have dinner at 6pm

It’s his house. His rules.
Yes 10pm is late to be cooking, eating and then clearing it all up.

If it's everyone's home then who is unreasonable? But when there's a parent only on the rent book (or mortgage) then they have final say.

From an energy bill point of view, people cooking separately is going to impact on bills. All the extra washing up too. Someone being out of sync with the rest of the household is really annoying.
Extra smells and noise are hugely frustrating especially if any sort of open plan involved.

Assuming they're grown ups and not teens then those who don't like the rules should move out though. It's almost certainly dad on the rent book/mortgage.

I wouldn't start cooking after 9 pm. Fair enough throwing something in the oven or microwave but actually cooking? No, I couldn't be arsed at that time and would just save it for a night where I could cook earlier.

fil’s home, his rules. It’s unreasonable to be cooking that late. It would be different if it was a shift worker, but that doesn’t seem to be the case here.

Who the hell thinks of cooking late at night? Have your meals at normal times or get a takeaway

No it's really rude and inconsiderate.

Your BIL is unreasonable and disrespectful not to comply with his own DF’s wishes whilst still living in his property.

The wear and tear on a kitchen and on your FIL’s nerves, where everybody is cooking their own meals at different times of the evening must be enormous. FIL is entitled to a bit of peace in the late evening without disturbance.

Can’t one of the occupants of the house cook a double portion earlier in the evening so that BIL can simply pop his plateful of food in the microwave for two minutes.
Or maybe BIL can consider his DF’s feelings for a change and comply with his wishes and simply cook/eat earlier.

A no cooking after 10pm ban is definitely not unreasonable with so many people in the house.

Ready meals for microwave or deliveroo ?

Clean kitchen end of the evening someone comes and does a full on cook - do they clean up properly or leave a mess for in the morning? There’s a lot of frustration I this so what’s the story on why so many people are at your FILs? I’m betting that he wants a bit of peace and quiet but all his kids are back.