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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Teenage daughters attitude

186 replies

Cheesybeansontoastftw · 31/12/2023 10:35

My 13 year old DD is well known for needing her sleep and being pretty grumpy if she doesn’t get enough. She is the same with food she gets extremely hangry and will sometimes be found crying for no reason. Give her a bit of fruit or toast and like magic she is fine again.

This morning 10:20am she come thudding downstairs, walks up to me and thumps me on the head. She shouts 'you woke me up with your laughter' she then grabs her phone and thuds back upstairs.

She is clearly upset that me and DH were having a nice time having coffee and a chat about Yorkshire puddings.

AIBU to think I can laugh in my own home? Is this normal for a teenager? Am I an awful mother? Do I need to spend the rest of her teenage years tiptoeing around joyless and whispering so I don't accidentally wake her up?

OP posts:
Zoraflora · 31/12/2023 10:37

I would remind her of all the nights she woke you up as a baby…..

Baghelpplease · 31/12/2023 10:37

She thinks it is acceptable to hit you? I think you're under reacting.

ManateeFair · 31/12/2023 10:38

thumps me on the head

WTF?? Your teenage daughter hit you and you’re asking if that’s normal?

It’s not.

Legoninjago1 · 31/12/2023 10:38

Toughen up OP. That is utterly unacceptable behaviour.

fairymary87 · 31/12/2023 10:39

Why are you letting her hit you

VirtualRealitee · 31/12/2023 10:44

FFS what a stupid question OP.

I was already rolling my eyes at you excusing her attitude due to being 'hangry'.

So what is/was the consequence of her hitting you on the head?

I can tell you now, that phone would've come straight off of her if she was my child and she wouldn't be getting it back for a long time.

InfamousPartyAnimal · 31/12/2023 10:48

She hit you on the head? And you did what precisely?
Jesus OP, that kid needs parenting.

SparkleyMud · 31/12/2023 10:50

You need to clarify the thumping on the head

Rachie1973 · 31/12/2023 10:52

Thumped you on the head?

I’d be up those stairs behind her and removing the phone! Obnoxious child!

Also, she’s 13! Old enough to understand she needs a snack. Are you her mother or her slave?

HopeAfresh · 31/12/2023 10:52

I hope you took her phone off her immediately...

Daleksatemyshed · 31/12/2023 10:54

I voted you're unreasonable because no way should your DC think they're entitled to hit you. She thinks everything's about her and before she grows up into an unpleasant adult you need to pull her back into line. Stop being so soft Op, it will be good for both of you

AngelicInnocent · 31/12/2023 10:56

Teary or a bit grouchy from hangry, OK, I can accept she's still growing, learning etc.

Thumping me in head would have seen the phone sailing into the bin.

ExtraOnions · 31/12/2023 10:57

Have her bloods bern tested ? Any issues with Iron or Blood sugars ?

If she’s getting enough sleep, but is constantly fatigued, and her mood is so changed by a quick bit of sugar (fruit), might just be worth getting the GP to have a look.

Also, the hitting isn’t acceptable .. regardless

MrsToothyBitch · 31/12/2023 10:58

She thumped you round the head? You have to address that! She hit you and can't be left with the impression that this is acceptable. Call her downstairs now and both of you tell her.

Hairyfairy01 · 31/12/2023 10:58

She thumped you on the head? What did you do?

Zanatdy · 31/12/2023 10:58

Wow, if mg DD did that she wouldn’t do it again. You need boundaries - she’s going to rule the roost otherwise

Reugny · 31/12/2023 11:00

YABU - and your "D"H - to allow her to thump you on the head.

You may be too shocked to deal with it as you the one who has just got hit but the other adult in the room should have at least said something.

Catopia · 31/12/2023 11:01

Go upstairs, hand her a sandwich, remove the phone, tell her it's unacceptable for her to hit you for any reason and she can come downstairs when she's ready to talk about it. There's no point trying to reason with her until she's eaten something. Between raging hormones and blood sugar probably being through the floor because of the lie-in, she's in no position to currently have a sensible conversation.

Highlyflavouredgravy · 31/12/2023 11:01

She would be bloody weepy if she dared lay a finger on me! You need to tackle that right now!!

VirtualRealitee · 31/12/2023 11:02

Catopia · 31/12/2023 11:01

Go upstairs, hand her a sandwich, remove the phone, tell her it's unacceptable for her to hit you for any reason and she can come downstairs when she's ready to talk about it. There's no point trying to reason with her until she's eaten something. Between raging hormones and blood sugar probably being through the floor because of the lie-in, she's in no position to currently have a sensible conversation.

Bollocks to that. Did you read that she thumped her mother on the head??

She's 13, she can make her own bloody sandwich.

JenniferJuniper80 · 31/12/2023 11:09

So do please explain exactly how you punished her for thumping you on the head.
Or are you happy to let her get away with her bullying you, just so long as you don't have to do any actual parenting?

I'd start by taking her phone away, I presume you pay the bill. Then she'd be grounded for the rest of the school holiday. You deserve an apology before you even think of returning her phone.

You're raising a brat and then coming onto mumsnet to complain that your child is acting like a brat.
Do some parenting. It's hard but the alternative is a damn sight harder, as you are discovering.

Balloonhearts · 31/12/2023 11:11

I'm sorry, your teen daughter hit you for laughing in your own house? I'd have followed her, told her if she needs more sleep, go to bed earlier and walloped her arse so hard she wouldn't sit down all day! Fuck that for a lark.

She needs to learn that if she hits people, 90% are going to thump her straight back and she isn't the biggest fish in the pond. Not everyone loves her like mummy and daddy do and one day she'll do it to the wrong person and get a lot worse than her arse slapped. This is what you call a teachable moment.

Notchangingnameagain · 31/12/2023 11:16

WTF.

My DD has caused me no end of problems.

However, she would NEVER put her hands on me EVER.

WTF.

If this is the first time, it needs to be the last time. Nip this in the bud TODAY.

WTF.

ttcat37 · 31/12/2023 11:26

Sooooo what are you going to do to punish her for assaulting you…? She needs to learn that no matter how hungry or grumpy she feels she can’t lay her hands on somebody else. I would have lost my shit I’m afraid and that phone would have been flushed down the toilet.

CherryBlossom321 · 31/12/2023 11:27

Yes, it’s normal for teenagers to be grumpy and need their sleep.

No, it’s not normal for teenagers to thump parents/ people around the head.

What will the consequences be for that?