Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have xl bully stay

273 replies

Worndownbyit · 30/12/2023 20:19

My daughter has 2 dogs, one of which is an xl bully she has recently taken on. Personally I don't mind the xl, but I've grown up with animals, my husband hates the dog and has said that he doesn't want the dog coming when she comes to visit with our grandchildren.
I know this is going to cause a row and my daughter is likely to say she won't come down...(she lives at the opposite end of the country)
AIBU to tell her she can't bring the xl when she comes to visit or should my husband just suck it up?

OP posts:
Balloonhearts · 30/12/2023 20:21

I think you should just say no dogs rather than single out the xl if it'll cause a row. Sorry DH really doesn't want to have the dogs down.

WhyAmINotCleaning · 30/12/2023 20:21

Journo?

I would have thought the answer is fairly obvious.

ChannelyourinnerElsa · 30/12/2023 20:21

I don’t know which way to vote, but I wouldn’t have one stay in my house. Not least because after tomorrow, the law kicks in doesnt it? Which could lead to some awkward questions about the dog being in your property, regarding its exemption etc.

namestevalian · 30/12/2023 20:22

Is she following the correct exemption process ? If so yes , if not no

Xmaspudding23 · 30/12/2023 20:23

Its his house too... if he doesnt want the dog there then I dont see what the discussion is?

Ponoka7 · 30/12/2023 20:23

Most places won't board them, so it's unlikely that she will now be coming.

Original poster
Worndownbyit · 30/12/2023 20:23

Clearly I don't or I wouldn't be asking!

OP posts:
Lifestooshort71 · 30/12/2023 20:23

Your husband has stated his view quite strongly and is concerned about safety. He should be listened to.

ThomasinaLivesHere · 30/12/2023 20:23

I wouldn’t have such a dog around children.

Calabou · 30/12/2023 20:24

Is the AIBU are you unreasonable to say the XL Bully can stay? I voted YABU as I agree with your husband.
Conversely, my DP probably wouldn't mind if we didn't have kids. I wouldn't have one in my house, or be around one, at all, kids or not.

Original poster
Worndownbyit · 30/12/2023 20:24

Yes she's following all the rules, applied for exemption, got muzzle, booked into vet for spaying pre-assessment next week. Going to training classes with it too.

OP posts:
Missingmyusername · 30/12/2023 20:25

Have you met the dog? If so how does he behave? The fact the dog is classed as type is neither here nor there is it🤷🏼‍♀️

Whatsinthebag2 · 30/12/2023 20:25

Think you should advise her to get rid if she has children

margotrose · 30/12/2023 20:25

I think it's perfectly reasonable to say "no dogs" - it's your house, after all.

I wouldn't single out the XL Bully though.

PermanentTemporary · 30/12/2023 20:26

I'd be pretty concerned about my grandchildren in your situation.

Can't blame your husband. I would tell the truth, that he doesn't want a potentially dangerous dog that she doesn't even know well yet in his house.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 30/12/2023 20:26

No- neither my husband or I should have anything in our house that we actively hate or are scared of.

Fionafaorta · 30/12/2023 20:27

I love dogs but there's no way I would have an XL around kids.

Especially one she gotten recently, I assume you don't know it's background?

yarnwitch · 30/12/2023 20:27

I think your DH is within his rights to say this, and your DD should understand that taking on such a breed means not everyone will want it in their house.

AuntySueDoesntGiveAShit · 30/12/2023 20:28

I wouldn't have it in my house , your daughter has only just taken it on , does she know how it will react when in a strange environment?

Ibex22 · 30/12/2023 20:28

Your daughter has done a very stupid thing in rehoming this dog she presumably knows nothing about AND she has children!?

Your husband is the only one talking sense here.

I would back him 100% and say you're not comfortable with the dog in your home. She will have to get used to people saying that.....

Original poster
Worndownbyit · 30/12/2023 20:28

I've met her (the dog) and like her but I'm an animal person. My husband isn't an animal person and he will tolerate the other dog but not this one..."just in case" although the dog is 3years old and never been a problem previously

OP posts:
ExtraOnions · 30/12/2023 20:28

Where did she get the dog from ? How much history is known ?

Fionafaorta · 30/12/2023 20:30

Worndownbyit · 30/12/2023 20:28

I've met her (the dog) and like her but I'm an animal person. My husband isn't an animal person and he will tolerate the other dog but not this one..."just in case" although the dog is 3years old and never been a problem previously

How do you know that??

My best friend rehomed her Frenchie because it bit her son.

No rescues would touch a biter so she rehomed it privatley and didn't tell the family about the bite!

(we are no longer friends)

6 months later, Frenchie bit another kid.

Fionafaorta · 30/12/2023 20:30

People lie. Especially when getting rid of things they don't want anymore.

AuntySueDoesntGiveAShit · 30/12/2023 20:31

although the dog is 3years old and never been a problem previously

I expect no dog had been a problem previous to it actually becoming a problem.