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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have xl bully stay

273 replies

Worndownbyit · 30/12/2023 20:19

My daughter has 2 dogs, one of which is an xl bully she has recently taken on. Personally I don't mind the xl, but I've grown up with animals, my husband hates the dog and has said that he doesn't want the dog coming when she comes to visit with our grandchildren.
I know this is going to cause a row and my daughter is likely to say she won't come down...(she lives at the opposite end of the country)
AIBU to tell her she can't bring the xl when she comes to visit or should my husband just suck it up?

OP posts:
ChellyT · 30/12/2023 21:27

Why isn't your DH having this conversation with your DD @Worndownbyit? Why do you have to tell your DD? It sounds like you are piggy in the middle torn between your loved ones

Catslovenip · 30/12/2023 21:28

Missingmyusername · 30/12/2023 21:27

@Catslovenip But humans will just breed something else? even more dangerous.
(They already are according to fb).

And we’ll deal with that breed when the time comes but for now , it is XL bullies that are regularly mauling people to death.

Missingmyusername · 30/12/2023 21:29

Buildingthefuture · 30/12/2023 21:25

Christ, the hysteria on this thread!!! This dog already lives with a child, I would have absolutely no issue with her coming to my house and bringing the dog. Thousands of dogs are going to be destroyed come the New Year because a small percentage pose a possible risk. Far, far less risk than say, getting in a car, but don’t let that stop the mass panic.

And honestly, this legislation won’t make one bit of difference. The shitty breeders will merely create another, similar non banned type and off we go again. Dog ownership, of ANY breed, needs to be regulated and monitored. But, the government can’t be arsed to do that, so they ban this breed, the breeders make a different breed and the cycle begins again. Dogs are not responsible, people are.
Oh, and if you’ve dumped your XL bully because you can’t be arsed to get an exemption? You are in fact a complete asshole.

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

All of this.

Catslovenip · 30/12/2023 21:29

We can’t let perfect be the enemy of good.

Missingmyusername · 30/12/2023 21:30

@Catslovenip So just let greeders carry on?

Epic.

Tacotortoise · 30/12/2023 21:30

Sodndashitall · 30/12/2023 20:33

If your DD has only recently got the dog then she doesn't know how this dog will react. If there are going to be lots of children around which the dog is not familiar with then I'd say that's a risk for any rescue dog.
Your DD sounds like she's trying her best and doing the right thing by the dog but it's still a risk and that would be true for any large rescue dog that is relatively new. Let alone a dog that will likely make everyone wary.
It's his house too, you shouldn't force him to accept a dog into it

What a pity she's not doing the right thing by her kids.

windywash · 30/12/2023 21:30

Your DH sounds like the only sensible one. Listen to him.

kitsuneghost · 30/12/2023 21:31

Totally agree
People are the issue
We need to ban the general public from owning and breeding dogs

Claricestarling1 · 30/12/2023 21:31

These dogs have been restricted for a reason and while it may have been fine until now imagine how you would feel if you forced the issue, it came to stay and the worst happened..listen to your DH

Catslovenip · 30/12/2023 21:31

Missingmyusername · 30/12/2023 21:30

@Catslovenip So just let greeders carry on?

Epic.

Again. Do not let perfect be the enemy of good . We cannot solve this problem over night but we can take steps to protect people

JingleSnowmanTree · 30/12/2023 21:32

Fionafaorta · 30/12/2023 21:19

You're willfully ignoring my point.

Dogs bite. For many reasons. Illness. Dementia. Stress. Poor training. Being scared...

But the size matters. If a 3kg dog bites for whatever reason it's unlikely to do much harm.

If a 20kg dog does the exact same thing someone could die.

Those are the facts and the reason I would never, ever allow a large breed around my kids. The risk is not worth it.

What is the point?

You can get plenty of small family breedsthe only reason the have any large powerful breed around kids is for status and to look hard.

Show quote history

@Fionafaorta

yep! All the owners of labs, golden retrievers, hounds, dalmations want to look 'hard'

Catslovenip · 30/12/2023 21:32

A muzzle May give someone a fighting chance against the next bully that attacks.

Missingmyusername · 30/12/2023 21:32

Catslovenip · 30/12/2023 21:29

We can’t let perfect be the enemy of good.

Not sure I’d be quoting a racist git but each to their own!

Catslovenip · 30/12/2023 21:33

Missingmyusername · 30/12/2023 21:32

Not sure I’d be quoting a racist git but each to their own!

Show quote history

I’ll quote whatever gets through to the hard of thinking.

Missingmyusername · 30/12/2023 21:33

Catslovenip · 30/12/2023 21:33

I’ll quote whatever gets through to the hard of thinking.

Show quote history

The irony.

kitsuneghost · 30/12/2023 21:33

kitsuneghost · 30/12/2023 21:31

Totally agree
People are the issue
We need to ban the general public from owning and breeding dogs

Sorry that was directed @Buildingthefuture

Catslovenip · 30/12/2023 21:33

Needs must and all that.

Missingmyusername · 30/12/2023 21:36

Catslovenip · 30/12/2023 21:33

Needs must and all that.

Yeah. Let humans carry on making the money eh? Don’t you want to prevent future deaths? I guessed you aren’t forward thinking.
Bless.

Catslovenip · 30/12/2023 21:36

Missingmyusername · 30/12/2023 21:36

Yeah. Let humans carry on making the money eh? Don’t you want to prevent future deaths? I guessed you aren’t forward thinking.
Bless.

Show quote history

You sound angry so I’ll bid you good night.

369damnshesfine · 30/12/2023 21:37

What is your issue?

Does saying no mean she won’t visit anymore?

If it’s simply that she can still come over regularly but just leaves the dogs at home, then it’s a no brainer.

But if it means her not being able to visit anymore then it’s more to consider and potentially compromise by DD putting it in one room or something.

I do think your DHs opinion trumps yours though.

Baffledandalarmed · 30/12/2023 21:39

Fionafaorta · 30/12/2023 20:30

People lie. Especially when getting rid of things they don't want anymore.

This.

This is also the third XL bully thread this weekend. Sigh.

Can we just accept that the thick twats who have them don’t understand the v. reasonable concerns the rest of the population have? And likewise accept that the rest of the population (in this case OPs husband) don’t have to pretend to like XL bullies just to make the XL bully owners feel better?

colourfulchinadolls · 30/12/2023 21:42

Yabu. I wouldn't want any dog in my home let alone one of those vile creatures. It's your husbands home too. Respect his wishes.

JingleSnowmanTree · 30/12/2023 21:45

colourfulchinadolls · 30/12/2023 21:42

Yabu. I wouldn't want any dog in my home let alone one of those vile creatures. It's your husbands home too. Respect his wishes.

@colourfulchinadolls

so many women on here think the DH has spoken & he must be 'respected'. Like the OP must obey him. It's pathetic.

this isn't about the dog, this is about 'the man of the house'. 1950 has has a break out.

Dillane · 30/12/2023 21:46

Xmaspudding23 · 30/12/2023 20:23

Its his house too... if he doesnt want the dog there then I dont see what the discussion is?

That works both ways.

369damnshesfine · 30/12/2023 21:47

Buildingthefuture · 30/12/2023 21:25

Christ, the hysteria on this thread!!! This dog already lives with a child, I would have absolutely no issue with her coming to my house and bringing the dog. Thousands of dogs are going to be destroyed come the New Year because a small percentage pose a possible risk. Far, far less risk than say, getting in a car, but don’t let that stop the mass panic.

And honestly, this legislation won’t make one bit of difference. The shitty breeders will merely create another, similar non banned type and off we go again. Dog ownership, of ANY breed, needs to be regulated and monitored. But, the government can’t be arsed to do that, so they ban this breed, the breeders make a different breed and the cycle begins again. Dogs are not responsible, people are.
Oh, and if you’ve dumped your XL bully because you can’t be arsed to get an exemption? You are in fact a complete asshole.

I completely agree!

We have the same hysteria every few years but the breed of dog just changes.

When will they recognise that it’s time to simply put in stricter dog laws for all breeds.

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