To have xl bully stay

[Worndownbyit]

My daughter has 2 dogs, one of which is an xl bully she has recently taken on. Personally I don't mind the xl, but I've grown up with animals, my husband hates the dog and has said that he doesn't want the dog coming when she comes to visit with our grandchildren.
I know this is going to cause a row and my daughter is likely to say she won't come down...(she lives at the opposite end of the country)
AIBU to tell her she can't bring the xl when she comes to visit or should my husband just suck it up?

I'd rather a 1000 of these dogs get PTS than 1 DC gets mauled and bitten to death.

@caringcarer but you live with or expose your DC to men? Statistically that is a bigger risk. What about that do you not understand?

@Esmerelda2024 I am a scientist and I deal in facts.

You wrote a very long, wordy but unfortunately not very factual post.
Women and children of any gender are more at risk from the men in their lives than they are from any dog.
They are also far more at risk when they get in a vehicle than they ever will be from any dog.
Your woolly statements can’t change those facts, because they are facts.
I haven’t made them up, nor do I particularly want them to be true or untrue. They are what research and statistics shows us. And I’m sure you are intelligent enough to understand that.

There are other options available: make the trip, but stay in a pet friendly hotel or rent a house (AirBnB or somesuch) near your parents. If those places don't allow dogs to be left unattended there are plenty of petsitters/dog walkers who will wait with the dogs while you go spend some time with your parents. Certainly a more expensive way to deal with the issue, but if your dad is worried about XL Bullies that isn't irrational.

Alternatively leave the dogs back at your house and hire a petsitter to stay with them at your home while you drive down to visit and stay with your parents.

You could also offer to put a muzzle on your dogs while they are at your parents' house. The concern with XL bullies is generally the biting, right? A muzzled dog can't bite, so that should alleviate your father's concern with respect to having the dog in the house. There are plenty of muzzle types available - and as a general matter all dogs should be trained to accept wearing a muzzle irrespective of whether they are XL bullies or sausage dogs. When your dogs need feeding or a drink while you are visiting with your folks you can always take them outside/into a secure room to allow them to do so. Hopefully they will behave so well that your dad's concerns will be alleviated.

Roll on tomorrow, and hopefully soon we will no longer need to be having these conversations as this breed dies out.

Many dogs are far far bigger than an XL bully. My sister's bernese mountain dog broke my mom's leg just by accidentally running into her. Clearly the father's concern here is being mauled - bitten. That won't happen with a muzzle on. And, of course, any dog can knock over a small child - heck a puppy can do that.

If you have examples of an XL bully hospitalising someone in an attack while the dog was muzzled by all means share - none of the recent horrible incidents we've seen in the papers have that scenario.

You are also ignoring the reasoning for why the dad doesn't want the dog in the house: If his concern is that the dog may bite someone then that concern would be addressed by muzzling the dog. He clearly doesn't mind other dogs in the house, and the other dog could easily knock over a child, so that clearly isn't the issue.
Put another way: when someone is concerned about something it is important to understand the specifics of why the person is concerned, and whether there are measures that can be taken to address those specific concerns.

@Buildingthefuture

Lol. Where is this feminist utopia we can go to in order to remove all men from our lives and our children’s lives?

Not bringing a dangerous dog breed into our life however, fairly simple no?

It would be great if you could link/cite the stats you’re referring to which state that any man is more of a risk than any dangerous dog breed (because it’s dangerous dogs we’re talking about here, not any dogs).

I'm sorry but why has it taken government legislation for her to have the dog spayed?

If your husband can’t deal with the XL he can’t deal with it. The dog will pick up on his tension and either get stressed or aggressive - animals are super sensitive. He’d be better off in kennels. It isn’t even your husband’s fault as a super big potentially lethal animal no matter how nice is still scary. It’s not your duty, the dog needs to be somewhere it can be looked after capably by people who are confident with it. I wouldn’t have trusted my horses with people who were scared of them for the horse and the person’s sake. Get the dog in a kennel.

I wouldn't have one in the house.

Your daughter knew what she was taking on. She knew people would have an adverse reaction to the breed and yet she went ahead.

Dear God the insanity of saying its fine to have a bully because men are more dangerous. I've never come across a poorer understanding of risk.

There are men in most homes in the UK. Some men are dangerous.

There aren't XL bullies in most homes. More than some are dangerous.

It's called proportionality.

Put an XL bully in most homes in the UK and then see the horrific numbers of children are killed and maimed.

Everyone says their dog is friendly. Until it rips someone's face off. It's always on the news reports - sad XL owner 'he was such a good dog, he'd never done anything before, I don't understand how he changed and horrifically injured my neighbour/child/partner/grandchild'. Every. Single. Time.

Sadly I think we will still be reading about such attacks.

Looks like 9 out of the 12 fatal attacks were inside the home not in public.

And the victim was either a family member or family friend.

Dear God the insanity of saying its fine to have a bully because men are more dangerous. I've never come across a poorer understanding of risk.

Doesn't surprise me though. The lengths that people will go to in order to defend these awful animals. They're not doing much to challenge the perception that the owners of these things are a definite "type.".

I've seen interviews on tv with XL owners.
They do seem a certain type and a bit dim.
Their answer to every question is 'but all dogs can turn. It's not the breed'.

But not all dogs can kill.

Also when people say target the breeders instead, doesn't making it illegal to breed these dogs target and criminalise the people that do?

Are there 1000s of these dogs in rehoming centres, otherwise why are there 1000s going to die today?

And if there are 1000s in rehoming centres we need to ask why, and actually even if this ban wasn’t coming in, are they a breed that should be rehomed, especially if you don’t know their history.

Nah, many hard of thinking "animal lovers" are shipping them up to us in Scotland, as our government has not taken any steps to restrict these things as they have in England/Wales.

Potential killer that i would never allow near my children.

It’s not that the animals are awful, it’s their nature and the fact that most are ill-equipped to handle them at all. I’m a skinny small woman who is scared of dogs. Give me charge of a flock of sheep, a herd of cows, a highly-strung horse or two and I’d cope like a trouper. This isn’t big talk, I have coped in these situations. But these dogs, no matter how lovely they are - and many of them are - are carnivores who are bred and often trained to take down animals many times their size and can hurt you even just in a fit of exuberance. They should be treated humanely and with affection but I’m not sure how much more they should be bred and allowed to spread among the general, less educated, population.

@Worndownbyit it's a no from me because your daughter has only just adopted the dog so doesn't know her well, doesn't know her likes/dislikes/triggers. When I adopted my dogs (from a reputable breed rescue) the recommendations were to allow the dog a few weeks to settle into its new home before adding other potential stressful situations into the mix (to avoid "trigger stacking"). Unless she kept in touch with the foster family, and had regular contact with the dog, they are virtual strangers to each other. The dog could become overwhelmed. Has she been assessed by a behaviourist? What's her history?

@Foxsoxandgloves OP said her daughter is "following all the rules, applied for exemption, got muzzle, booked into vet for spaying pre-assessment next week. Going to training classes with it too"

I live with 2 dogs too. I'd take my chance with a man I knew and trusted above a random XL Bully I'd never met before.