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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have xl bully stay

273 replies

Worndownbyit · 30/12/2023 20:19

My daughter has 2 dogs, one of which is an xl bully she has recently taken on. Personally I don't mind the xl, but I've grown up with animals, my husband hates the dog and has said that he doesn't want the dog coming when she comes to visit with our grandchildren.
I know this is going to cause a row and my daughter is likely to say she won't come down...(she lives at the opposite end of the country)
AIBU to tell her she can't bring the xl when she comes to visit or should my husband just suck it up?

OP posts:
Cakeandcookies · 30/12/2023 20:49

I know nobody can say what the dog is like but if it was me it would be a firm no particularly with everything in the news. Your husband has said no so you need to respect his wishes. I would be very concerned about it being around children but its likely that your daughter may find it difficult to find someone to have it. Have an honest conversation with her and see what she says.

Greenshake · 30/12/2023 20:50

@Hannah985 thank you for this sensible, rational post. Unfortunately it will be drowned out by the more ‘excitable’ posters.

sadoldmum2018 · 30/12/2023 20:51

YABU

Are you not worried your daughter has acquired a 3 year old XL and has it around your grandchildren?

If I'm not mistaken most of the recent dog attacks have happened within the house the dog has been in, not rampaging around the streets.

And it's only the fatalities reported in the news.

Except for a man who had his testicles bitten off by one

Definitely with your DH on this one.

momonpurpose · 30/12/2023 20:53

ThomasinaLivesHere · 30/12/2023 20:23

I wouldn’t have such a dog around children.

Neither would I or have it in my home

Isometimeswonder · 30/12/2023 20:53

Your attitude to your husband is concerning. Why should he just "suck it up"? It's his house too.
Personally I would say no to that type of dog in my house.

Original poster
Worndownbyit · 30/12/2023 20:54

My feelings don't trump my husbands at all, this is why I'm asking for opinions. I accept there are rights and wrongs on both sides but my husband is anti most dogs in general and more likely to believe the hype than a dog lover..

OP posts:
Missingmyusername · 30/12/2023 20:54

@Fionafaorta My large breed of 7 stone is as soft as butter. My previous JRT attacked us regularly, I almost lost an eye to him- (doggy dementia)- we were careful with him, he lived to 17.
Judge the deed not the breed. People are not learning.

@MintJulia kennels will still board them- not all but they are out there. Stop spreading misinformation. Check your facts.

Cincinnatus · 30/12/2023 20:55

That thing wouldn’t be coming into my house. Your poor husband.

Fionafaorta · 30/12/2023 20:55

Greenshake · 30/12/2023 20:38

Not sure how you are going to enforce that, given you will be almost entirely reliant on what someone chooses to tell you.

Show quote history

Um with my eyes.

If someone tells me they have a pug and they turn up with a rottweiler they wouldn't be coming in?

Original poster
Worndownbyit · 30/12/2023 20:56

She had the dog as a pup 2 years ago but the situation was different then which is why she rehomed it at that point.

OP posts:
WiddlinDiddlin · 30/12/2023 20:56

I would not bring any dog into a house where one of the people in the house is going to be argumentative/hostile/behave like a dick.

One of the prime ways to trigger an attack or fall out is to subject a dog to an unfamiliar or less familiar environment and humans behaving antagonistically towards them. Even more likely if the dogs owner is upset and behaving unusually.

So if the dog comes, he needs to piss off out of it, or the dog doesn't come.

Fedupandconfused0815 · 30/12/2023 20:56

I wouldn't have an XL bully in my house. Team DH.

YouJustDoYou · 30/12/2023 20:57

Nope. She only recently got the thing, hell no.

sadoldmum2018 · 30/12/2023 20:58

@Missingmyusername

If your Jack Russell had been an XL bully it would have only attacked you once.
Especially if it was going for your face.

Missingmyusername · 30/12/2023 20:58

Worndownbyit · 30/12/2023 20:56

She had the dog as a pup 2 years ago but the situation was different then which is why she rehomed it at that point.

What? So she fostered the puppy and rehomed due to the law? But you’ve never met the dog….im confused!

What @Hannah985 said. Scroll back and read that!

SeattleSpacePlane · 30/12/2023 20:58

Your daughter is an idiot. She just as well leave a loaded gun on the kitchen counter and cross her fingers that none of the kids picks it up.

Your dh is right. It wouldn't be coming into the house. If it caused a row, so be it. I'd hope that my dd would then start recognise what an irresponsible idiot she is and get rid of it.

Overthebow · 30/12/2023 20:58

I wouldn’t want an XL in my house.

Greenshake · 30/12/2023 20:59

Fionafaorta · 30/12/2023 20:55

Um with my eyes.

If someone tells me they have a pug and they turn up with a rottweiler they wouldn't be coming in?

Show quote history

Um….re-read your original comment. You said you wouldn’t allow any large breed dog of unknown history around your kids. Are you going to ask for a full breakdown of a dog’s past every time your kids come into contact with one?

Missingmyusername · 30/12/2023 21:00

@sadoldmum2018 Judge the deed not the breed. We knew he was bitey. If he had been larger it would’ve been harder to manage, I misread him it was my fault.

WiddlinDiddlin · 30/12/2023 21:00

@Worndownbyit Please make sure your daughter knows that as soon as she has the exemption done, the dog MUST be kept according to the conditions of the exemption.

People have assumed dogs who are exempted do not need to be muzzled, on a lead etc until the 31st, but this is not true, it is as soon as they are exempted. An exempted dog not abiding by the conditions can be seized even before the cut off date.

ChristmasEvemaddness · 30/12/2023 21:00

Belive the hype!!

The hype of actual tragic deaths? Endless footage of people attacked and s peaches by experts that these dogs have an innate high prey drive that no sensible owners can train out of them.

I've grown up with cats, normal moggie cats. For my dc we chose a x breed know for certain characteristics.
It does what it says on the tin. Totally different to previous cats.

ExtraOnions · 30/12/2023 21:01

… so this is a large dog, that has already been rehomed twice, not neutered, don’t really know what it’s been up to in it’s last home.

This is a breed that makes up less than 1% of the dogs in England, but are responsible for 75% of fatal dog attacks. I would want to be very very sure about them before they came into my house

(tbh, I wouldn’t let them in)

Wintersun1xxx · 30/12/2023 21:02

Sorry, wouldn't be for me either but as always on this topic opinions will differ.

Missingmyusername · 30/12/2023 21:02

ChristmasEvemaddness · 30/12/2023 21:00

Belive the hype!!

The hype of actual tragic deaths? Endless footage of people attacked and s peaches by experts that these dogs have an innate high prey drive that no sensible owners can train out of them.

I've grown up with cats, normal moggie cats. For my dc we chose a x breed know for certain characteristics.
It does what it says on the tin. Totally different to previous cats.

I give you a Turkish Kangal or Presa Canario. Both legal here. Both have killed and are banned elsewhere. So…..

Fionafaorta · 30/12/2023 21:03

Missingmyusername · 30/12/2023 20:54

@Fionafaorta My large breed of 7 stone is as soft as butter. My previous JRT attacked us regularly, I almost lost an eye to him- (doggy dementia)- we were careful with him, he lived to 17.
Judge the deed not the breed. People are not learning.

@MintJulia kennels will still board them- not all but they are out there. Stop spreading misinformation. Check your facts.

And why didn't you put the JRT to sleep? Because even when it attacked it was manageable with minimal damage.

If your large breed did the same you wouldn't have been able to manage him, because he could have killed you.

You just absolutely proved my point. Large breeds are more dangerous simply because of their size and their capability for damage.

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