I’m done with my dad - AIBU

[Lilllypad11]

Today my dad and I had a disagreement. I admittedly do always say “who you texting” when he’s on the phone. He asked me last night who I was texting. So I went “doesn’t matter” he said “you’ve been on that phone all of dinner and you always ask me who I’m texting and why I’m texting them so I don’t see what your problem is all of a sudden we can’t ask you”

I walked off.

I ignored him all today. I just chose not to bother or engage in any convo. He then says “I don’t know why you’re still not talking to me” so I said “yesterday you kept probing me for an answer like a kid and wouldn’t leave me alone” so then he decided to flip out and start arguing and said “I’m so fed up of you constantly having a moan lately. You always say it’s your period that makes you moody but everyone and every other woman just gets on with it. Then on top of that I’ve done everything to console you through the break up and I’ve dealt with the tears and the tantrums and it’s now been 4 months later. Fuck the stupid guy who’s clearly fucked off with another woman stop being a loser and waiting for that cnt to turn around and go and find someone better than him. You’re crying tears over some stupid fuck and you’re not understanding that he clearly doesn’t give a sit and had no respect for you. Why are you constantly wasting these tears on him. We’ve constantly been there for you but you need to stop” so of course, I’m not tolerating being called a loser by my father. I got in his face and told him what a loser he was for being such an unsupportive ahole and that quite frankly he could shove new year up his as.

I would also like to add he shouts very loudly so I shout even louder.

I picked up my keys and I’ve stormed off. My mums called me and said come and talk it out with him. I’ve refused. I’m just not tolerating being called a loser. It’s not nice and it’s so uncalled for.

Should I bother listening to his drivel.

This has got to be a wind up. 😂

@IGotItFromAgnes I truly despair......

You cannot be 27. You sound like a particularly bratty, self-absorbed 14 year old with zero self-awareness.

I feel for the parents :/ Especially the mum, bet she's had to put up with this shit for years.

I think Aunt Sue had a lucky escape though!

Referring to your attitude. Pretty sure most people got that.

Agreed. This is not written by an adult,

You sound like really, really hard work.

Yabu op. You need to grow up and move out.

YABU, you don't sound like you have any emotional maturity. I felt genuinely sad reading the way you describe your Dad in your OP. You should value your Dad. Sit down and think about what's important. Resolve things like an adult.

OP, your profession IS relevant. If you are as tone-deaf to what people are saying to you, as self-absorbed and quite frankly batshit in your job I honestly do not know how you hold down a job. Your teacher training should have given you the ability to control yourself, to make rational judgments and to be able to consider the other person's viewpoint. Notice I say 'should have' in the last sentence.

Hey, @Lilllypad11, don’t know if you’re still around but some advice for you because now you’re less angry you sound really down-

You feel that he’s toxic and unreasonable, and that you’ve learned his traits which messed up your relationship. That may be true- certainly you and your dad don’t need to live together- it’s not good for either of you.

Something I’ve learned is that you can’t change other people. You can’t make them be different so you are happier. All you can do is change yourself and your situation.

Stop trying to change your dad, work on yourself and your situation. Work on managing frustration, dealing with disappointment, planning your life so you don’t need to put up with shit from other people. You’re clearly a capable high achiever with self control or you’d not survive in teaching. Turn those skills on yourself. Find people who gel with you. Don’t bother trying to change people to fit in with you, learn how to be more flexible yourself.

All the best 💐

You sound like a 13 year old. Christ.
You refused to talk to your own auntie who was visiting for chirstmas becuase your boyfriend broke up with you months ago?

You actually do tell your parents that it's your PERIOD that makes you act out? Grow the fuck up kid.

You need to get a grip. Start making a plan to get out.

Ignore those saying ‘grow up’ as it’s more complicated than that when you have ASD/ADHD.

However, you DF will absolutely also be on the ASD as it runs in families and guaranteed the issue is not him lacking common sense, but him having poor communication issues and difficulties managing his emotions. Both of you having poor communication and managing your emotions, which is contributing to the conflict between you.

You can’t do much about getting him to understand how ASD impacts these areas, but you can read up more on it yourself and look for support for yourself. It might not change him, but you can understand the situation and work on developing your skills, which will help beyond the family dynamics.

It's been four months since your boyfriend took off. Your boyfriend left, at least some of what your father is saying is probably true - why do you persist in not thinking about your attitudes and where YOU might be to blame? Your Dad is right - how much longer are you going to use your boyfriend as an excuse - BF's gone, vamoosed, not coming back, he's an ex-boyfriend. Now take some steps to move on and enough already with the blame game.

From the way you've conducted yourself on here and all the dramatics, I cannot begin to imagine how you hold down a job as a teacher (unless you're rehearsing for the school play).