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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I’m done with my dad - AIBU

215 replies

Lilllypad11 · 30/12/2023 18:27

Today my dad and I had a disagreement. I admittedly do always say “who you texting” when he’s on the phone. He asked me last night who I was texting. So I went “doesn’t matter” he said “you’ve been on that phone all of dinner and you always ask me who I’m texting and why I’m texting them so I don’t see what your problem is all of a sudden we can’t ask you”

I walked off.

I ignored him all today. I just chose not to bother or engage in any convo. He then says “I don’t know why you’re still not talking to me” so I said “yesterday you kept probing me for an answer like a kid and wouldn’t leave me alone” so then he decided to flip out and start arguing and said “I’m so fed up of you constantly having a moan lately. You always say it’s your period that makes you moody but everyone and every other woman just gets on with it. Then on top of that I’ve done everything to console you through the break up and I’ve dealt with the tears and the tantrums and it’s now been 4 months later. Fuck the stupid guy who’s clearly fucked off with another woman stop being a loser and waiting for that cnt to turn around and go and find someone better than him. You’re crying tears over some stupid fuck and you’re not understanding that he clearly doesn’t give a sit and had no respect for you. Why are you constantly wasting these tears on him. We’ve constantly been there for you but you need to stop” so of course, I’m not tolerating being called a loser by my father. I got in his face and told him what a loser he was for being such an unsupportive ahole and that quite frankly he could shove new year up his as.

I would also like to add he shouts very loudly so I shout even louder.

I picked up my keys and I’ve stormed off. My mums called me and said come and talk it out with him. I’ve refused. I’m just not tolerating being called a loser. It’s not nice and it’s so uncalled for.

Should I bother listening to his drivel.

OP posts:
Getamoveon36 · 30/12/2023 19:16

Oh and @Lilllypad11 you can’t afford lip fillers if you can’t pay your bills and are still living off your parents as an adult.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/12/2023 19:17

@Lilllypad11 - before your break up you must have been paying rent/mortgage (or part thereof, if you were sharing), and bills - so why aren’t you giving your parents that money? A responsible adult would at least have offered to do this - though many parents would have refused part of the money.

Instead you have moved back in to your parents’ house, eating their food, using their energy and Wi-Fi etc, and paying some money sometimes - and you think they are not supporting you? That is literally what they are doing!

Lookingatthesunset · 30/12/2023 19:18

You need to grow the actual fuck up.

I wouldn't put up with your bullshit - you would be moving out.

DrBlackbird · 30/12/2023 19:18

So, we don’t know the whole story here and there may be more about your history with your DF, but @Lilllypad11 why don’t you do some research on neurodiversity, especially ASD, and see how much it resonates with both you and your DF? Particularly the issues around communication and emotional regulation. You will, however, have a better relationship with your DF if you move out and see each other on neutral ground.

BodyKeepingScore · 30/12/2023 19:19

You sound incredibly immature and spoilt. Move out, pay your own bills and then who you or your father text is nobody's business. Honestly, I couldn't believe you're 27 when I read this.

Ohnotyoutoo · 30/12/2023 19:20

"Fuck the stupid guy who’s clearly fucked off with another woman stop being a loser and waiting for that cnt to turn around and go and find someone better than him. You’re crying tears over some stupid fuck and you’re not understanding that he clearly doesn’t give a sit and had no respect for you. Why are you constantly wasting these tears on him. We’ve constantly been there for you but you need to stop."

Tbh this is excellent advice. I'm sure the majority of us have been in your situation, OP. I've been cheated on in a 5.5 year relationship at the same age as you, and broke off an 8 year relationship, which was also very hard. But boy, you do sound like you need to pull yourself together a bit. What your dad said to you is something I'd say to my best friends in your situation, albeit in a less frustrated way.

Give yourself one more day to wallow and let 1st January 2024 be the date you start over.

Sorrynotsorry2 · 30/12/2023 19:20

I read your op , thought a young teenager had written it. 27 .. 😂

Tinkerbyebye · 30/12/2023 19:20

Ithink you seriously need to grow up

Lilllypad11 · 30/12/2023 19:20

DrBlackbird · 30/12/2023 19:18

So, we don’t know the whole story here and there may be more about your history with your DF, but @Lilllypad11 why don’t you do some research on neurodiversity, especially ASD, and see how much it resonates with both you and your DF? Particularly the issues around communication and emotional regulation. You will, however, have a better relationship with your DF if you move out and see each other on neutral ground.

I’m on the spectrum. ADHD and asd. But he just lacks common sense.

OP posts:
Folklore9074 · 30/12/2023 19:20

You're 27, move out. Support yourself. The whole argument is embarrassing for you to be having at this age.

OCDmama · 30/12/2023 19:20

"he called me a loser"

Well, sometimes the truth hurts OP.

#teamdad.

LemonLight · 30/12/2023 19:22

He’s an arrogant idiot.

Apple not fallen far from the tree then. Jeez you're 27 and act like such a brat. No wonder your partner left you!

PlacidPenelope · 30/12/2023 19:22

But he just lacks common sense.

Sound like he has got plenty of common sense, you on the other hand..

Prayfortheangels · 30/12/2023 19:23

Lilllypad11 · 30/12/2023 19:20

I’m on the spectrum. ADHD and asd. But he just lacks common sense.

He may well be on the spectrum too.

Lookingatthesunset · 30/12/2023 19:23

Lilllypad11 · 30/12/2023 18:45

Oh yeah my dad said that. He said let us know where to leave your stuff because you’re pushing me to chuck you out this household. So I said no worries. I’ve booked a hotel for the next two nights.

Maybe you should have handed that money over to your parents as part of your rent.

Greenpolkadot · 30/12/2023 19:23

You're childish and ridiculous. You also sound highly strung temperamental and moody

betterangels · 30/12/2023 19:24

Imagine bitching like this about your dad when you're an actual adult with a job and don't even contribute much while living under your parents' roof. If he has any sense, your arrogant arse would be out permanently. Maybe then you'd grow up.

Fuckmeicantbebothered · 30/12/2023 19:24

Fucking hell, you're 27, acting this way, and living at home still. Paying whatever board you can?

Sounds like you need to grow up in more ways than one.

Gnomegnomegnome · 30/12/2023 19:24

Team Dad. You are whiny, stroppy and demanding.

I’m shocked that you are a teacher!

diddl · 30/12/2023 19:24

It's obviously a hard time for you Op but honest I think I'd be struggling if someone was still having tantrums & tears after 4months.

I know that that isn't that long but sometimes you have to think about others.

As for picking at your dad about who he's texting & then not speaking to him.

No wonder he is at his wit's end.

Guiltypleasures001 · 30/12/2023 19:25

I think your dad told you the hard truth op
And as you now know it hurts
Think about what he said and whether any of it was the truth and where you may fit in to that

Icantbedoingwithit · 30/12/2023 19:25

Mortified for you. Grow up and cop on.

Getamoveon36 · 30/12/2023 19:25

Good that you are moving on though.

I’m done with my dad - AIBU
Lilllypad11 · 30/12/2023 19:25

LemonLight · 30/12/2023 19:22

He’s an arrogant idiot.

Apple not fallen far from the tree then. Jeez you're 27 and act like such a brat. No wonder your partner left you!

Yeah he probably cheated because of the way I am.

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 30/12/2023 19:25

Yabu.

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