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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I’m done with my dad - AIBU

215 replies

Lilllypad11 · 30/12/2023 18:27

Today my dad and I had a disagreement. I admittedly do always say “who you texting” when he’s on the phone. He asked me last night who I was texting. So I went “doesn’t matter” he said “you’ve been on that phone all of dinner and you always ask me who I’m texting and why I’m texting them so I don’t see what your problem is all of a sudden we can’t ask you”

I walked off.

I ignored him all today. I just chose not to bother or engage in any convo. He then says “I don’t know why you’re still not talking to me” so I said “yesterday you kept probing me for an answer like a kid and wouldn’t leave me alone” so then he decided to flip out and start arguing and said “I’m so fed up of you constantly having a moan lately. You always say it’s your period that makes you moody but everyone and every other woman just gets on with it. Then on top of that I’ve done everything to console you through the break up and I’ve dealt with the tears and the tantrums and it’s now been 4 months later. Fuck the stupid guy who’s clearly fucked off with another woman stop being a loser and waiting for that cnt to turn around and go and find someone better than him. You’re crying tears over some stupid fuck and you’re not understanding that he clearly doesn’t give a sit and had no respect for you. Why are you constantly wasting these tears on him. We’ve constantly been there for you but you need to stop” so of course, I’m not tolerating being called a loser by my father. I got in his face and told him what a loser he was for being such an unsupportive ahole and that quite frankly he could shove new year up his as.

I would also like to add he shouts very loudly so I shout even louder.

I picked up my keys and I’ve stormed off. My mums called me and said come and talk it out with him. I’ve refused. I’m just not tolerating being called a loser. It’s not nice and it’s so uncalled for.

Should I bother listening to his drivel.

OP posts:
countvoncount · 30/12/2023 19:25

Omg.
I'd kick your verucca salt ass out as quick as a flash.
You should be ashamed OP.

Nazzywish · 30/12/2023 19:25

Your behaving like a child so got talked to like one. Grow up and then go and speak to your parents you ungrateful brat.

Greenpolkadot · 30/12/2023 19:26

Lilllypad11 · 30/12/2023 18:28

Oh and I’m 27 years of age therefore. Don’t need to answer to anyone. Nor be shouted at by my dad at my age. I will obviously shout back. Which I did.

Well you sound mighty proud of yourself op..,lol

momonpurpose · 30/12/2023 19:27

I am embarrassed for you just reading this.

DeeLusional · 30/12/2023 19:27

Gosh what a memory. I can barely remember one sentence at a time that people say.

Lookingatthesunset · 30/12/2023 19:27

Ohnotyoutoo · 30/12/2023 19:20

"Fuck the stupid guy who’s clearly fucked off with another woman stop being a loser and waiting for that cnt to turn around and go and find someone better than him. You’re crying tears over some stupid fuck and you’re not understanding that he clearly doesn’t give a sit and had no respect for you. Why are you constantly wasting these tears on him. We’ve constantly been there for you but you need to stop."

Tbh this is excellent advice. I'm sure the majority of us have been in your situation, OP. I've been cheated on in a 5.5 year relationship at the same age as you, and broke off an 8 year relationship, which was also very hard. But boy, you do sound like you need to pull yourself together a bit. What your dad said to you is something I'd say to my best friends in your situation, albeit in a less frustrated way.

Give yourself one more day to wallow and let 1st January 2024 be the date you start over.

I am sure your parents are sick to fuck of the tears and tantrums.

What age group do you teach - 5 year olds?

2jacqi · 30/12/2023 19:27

@Lilllypad11 so you have money for a hotel but you only contribute what you can to the household??? come on, you should be paying board money to your parents!! food, roof, bed, electricity, washing machine, showers, you name it, every little thing costs money but you have absolutely no idea!!! you aint going to win this argument because you are the tosser here, not your dad. you are miserable and you are determined to make everyone else miserable! when you stormed out you even remembered to take your bloody keys with you!! 😅

CherryBlossomPants · 30/12/2023 19:28

There’s no way this thread is genuine

Witchbitch20 · 30/12/2023 19:28

With kindness - grow up. Apologies for speaking to your father the way you did, stop asking who he’s on the phone to (as you clearly don’t like to be asked yourself), and maybe apologise for the atmosphere you caused with your behaviour on Christmas Day, if a basic lack of manners for guests was so much of an issue that at 27 years of age your father had to point out you were rude.

And, most importantly, find a place to live independently.

Hercisback · 30/12/2023 19:28

Reported. What a ridiculous thread.

DriftingDora · 30/12/2023 19:28

Thehop · 30/12/2023 18:31

You're 27? Blimey

27 months, actually...🙄

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 30/12/2023 19:29

The way your dad has treated you and spoken to you so far I must admit has been a bit rude and unkind. You haven’t helped yourself by not speaking to your dad after one incident either.

I’m guessing you’re either home for Christmas or moved home after your break up. Yes, you need to move out ideally but your dad needs to get off your case and not state the obvious like your ex has gone to another woman, he should try to keep quiet about your relationship or talk to you when you’ve calmed down about it as it seems too raw now for you.

momonpurpose · 30/12/2023 19:29

Aibu? 99% yes. No I'm not

Lookingatthesunset · 30/12/2023 19:29

Hercisback · 30/12/2023 19:28

Reported. What a ridiculous thread.

Spoilsport.... 😁

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 30/12/2023 19:29

You should apologise to your father too for both things you were rude to him for though.

Lookingatthesunset · 30/12/2023 19:29

momonpurpose · 30/12/2023 19:29

Aibu? 99% yes. No I'm not

I think someone hit the wrong one by accident!

Wtfammaduck · 30/12/2023 19:30

OP I don’t believe this was written by a 27 or 28 year old teacher. So I’m going to respond as I would for any young teenager.

Young people do often need support over the holidays when their friends are caught up with family things and you’re stuck at home in crap weather. It’s a trying time and this interaction with your dad will be indicative of your frustration with each other. He is a human being with frustrations too and whomever he decides to communicate with is none of your business. It’s certainly not your place to criticise.

It sounds like counselling would help you with some self reflection. If you are over 18 as you claim then you need to grow up and wise up. You are a guest in your parents house and that deserves respect because without a degree of politeness you may find yourself no longer welcome. That interaction did not suggest respect from you. If your father treats you badly you do not reciprocate you find a way of getting away or diffusing the situation if you can’t, you do not give him back more attitude but with added teenage strop. That doesn’t give you the upper hand it makes you look like an immature child. if you were 14 then there would be more sympathy but you’re not are you, you’re 27 or 28 and mature enough to be responsible for a class of children. You will have learned enough basic behavioural psychology to know how to diffuse situations and stop them exploding. At 27 you’re old enough to create space from your parents and on a teachers wage you can well afford to rent a room in a shared property where you’re accountable to no one.

BluebellsareBlue · 30/12/2023 19:30

I genuinely thought you were a teenager writing that 🙄🙄

Lookingatthesunset · 30/12/2023 19:30

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 30/12/2023 19:29

The way your dad has treated you and spoken to you so far I must admit has been a bit rude and unkind. You haven’t helped yourself by not speaking to your dad after one incident either.

I’m guessing you’re either home for Christmas or moved home after your break up. Yes, you need to move out ideally but your dad needs to get off your case and not state the obvious like your ex has gone to another woman, he should try to keep quiet about your relationship or talk to you when you’ve calmed down about it as it seems too raw now for you.

He's probably had a bellyful of it over Christmas tbf!

ItAintGonnaGoDownEasyIfItAintCheezy · 30/12/2023 19:32

Lilllypad11 · 30/12/2023 18:27

Today my dad and I had a disagreement. I admittedly do always say “who you texting” when he’s on the phone. He asked me last night who I was texting. So I went “doesn’t matter” he said “you’ve been on that phone all of dinner and you always ask me who I’m texting and why I’m texting them so I don’t see what your problem is all of a sudden we can’t ask you”

I walked off.

I ignored him all today. I just chose not to bother or engage in any convo. He then says “I don’t know why you’re still not talking to me” so I said “yesterday you kept probing me for an answer like a kid and wouldn’t leave me alone” so then he decided to flip out and start arguing and said “I’m so fed up of you constantly having a moan lately. You always say it’s your period that makes you moody but everyone and every other woman just gets on with it. Then on top of that I’ve done everything to console you through the break up and I’ve dealt with the tears and the tantrums and it’s now been 4 months later. Fuck the stupid guy who’s clearly fucked off with another woman stop being a loser and waiting for that cnt to turn around and go and find someone better than him. You’re crying tears over some stupid fuck and you’re not understanding that he clearly doesn’t give a sit and had no respect for you. Why are you constantly wasting these tears on him. We’ve constantly been there for you but you need to stop” so of course, I’m not tolerating being called a loser by my father. I got in his face and told him what a loser he was for being such an unsupportive ahole and that quite frankly he could shove new year up his as.

I would also like to add he shouts very loudly so I shout even louder.

I picked up my keys and I’ve stormed off. My mums called me and said come and talk it out with him. I’ve refused. I’m just not tolerating being called a loser. It’s not nice and it’s so uncalled for.

Should I bother listening to his drivel.

Mate, they should fucking disown you.

Grendell · 30/12/2023 19:33

Too much togetherness.

You waive certain rights living under someone else's roof at their expense.

It will be much easier for you to date if you have your own place.

Go grey rock in the house. No big emotions. Don't react. No strong opinions. Do the pleasantries and niceties. You live there because they let you.

Fuckmeicantbebothered · 30/12/2023 19:34

DriftingDora · 30/12/2023 19:28

27 months, actually...🙄

Show quote history

I've got a 20 month old, isn't half as much of a prick as the OP...
Can't be an age thing. 😅

Original poster
Lilllypad11 · 30/12/2023 19:34

ItAintGonnaGoDownEasyIfItAintCheezy · 30/12/2023 19:32

Mate, they should fucking disown you.

Show quote history

For what though. He’s been so rude and unsupportive. What’s the point in supporting your kids just to throw it back at them.

OP posts:
DriftingDora · 30/12/2023 19:35

tuvamoodyson · 30/12/2023 18:43

To be fair, I don’t think Aunt Sue missed much…

Oh, I love this comment! So true - lucky Auntie Sue!😂

(Did I imagine it, or did someone say OP's a teacher????????. By heck...I knew they had difficulty recruiting in mainstream education...)

Differentstarts · 30/12/2023 19:35

I'd call you worse then a loser if you were my daughter acting like that.

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