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Original poster

I’m done with my dad - AIBU

215 replies

Lilllypad11 · 30/12/2023 18:27

Today my dad and I had a disagreement. I admittedly do always say “who you texting” when he’s on the phone. He asked me last night who I was texting. So I went “doesn’t matter” he said “you’ve been on that phone all of dinner and you always ask me who I’m texting and why I’m texting them so I don’t see what your problem is all of a sudden we can’t ask you”

I walked off.

I ignored him all today. I just chose not to bother or engage in any convo. He then says “I don’t know why you’re still not talking to me” so I said “yesterday you kept probing me for an answer like a kid and wouldn’t leave me alone” so then he decided to flip out and start arguing and said “I’m so fed up of you constantly having a moan lately. You always say it’s your period that makes you moody but everyone and every other woman just gets on with it. Then on top of that I’ve done everything to console you through the break up and I’ve dealt with the tears and the tantrums and it’s now been 4 months later. Fuck the stupid guy who’s clearly fucked off with another woman stop being a loser and waiting for that cnt to turn around and go and find someone better than him. You’re crying tears over some stupid fuck and you’re not understanding that he clearly doesn’t give a sit and had no respect for you. Why are you constantly wasting these tears on him. We’ve constantly been there for you but you need to stop” so of course, I’m not tolerating being called a loser by my father. I got in his face and told him what a loser he was for being such an unsupportive ahole and that quite frankly he could shove new year up his as.

I would also like to add he shouts very loudly so I shout even louder.

I picked up my keys and I’ve stormed off. My mums called me and said come and talk it out with him. I’ve refused. I’m just not tolerating being called a loser. It’s not nice and it’s so uncalled for.

Should I bother listening to his drivel.

OP posts:
Didimum · 30/12/2023 18:37

Lilllypad11 · 30/12/2023 18:32

So you think it’s okay for him to call me a loser and start shouting. Stating I pay no bills when I contribute whatever I can. Then proceeds to drop me in it about a secret I told him to keep. So I just did the exact same to him.

Show quote history

Bills/secrets not a relevant response, since not mentioned in your OP. Yes, you do sound rather loser’ish, to be fair.

2jacqi · 30/12/2023 18:37

@Lilllypad11 here was me thinking you were only 15!!!! for gods sake grow up and appreciate your parents for putting food on the table and keeping a roof over your head!!

Testina · 30/12/2023 18:37

What does, “I’m done with my dad” actually mean to you? That you’re done with living off him?

HulaChick · 30/12/2023 18:38

27? More like 7!! You were incredibly rude to your Dad and very, very immature. You owe him an apology & you need to grow up.

Fannyfiggs · 30/12/2023 18:40

I think you need to put on your big girl pants and listen to what your dad is saying. He sounds as sick of you as you are of him.

Go and apologise to your mum and dad and go forth into the big wide world and live your life (and pay your own bills).

2jacqi · 30/12/2023 18:40

@Lilllypad11 and how does a 27 year old move out and pay the bills when they answer to no one! do you even have a job? how do you keep said job if you answer to no one????

Catapultaway · 30/12/2023 18:40

Hopefully he sees sense and kicks you out. You're 27, staying in their house and acting like your 12.
I'm guessing you will read all the replies and still think you're in the right though

loggerheads · 30/12/2023 18:41

Surely this is a wind up? You live at home and 'contribute when you can'? Are you working? All sounds very OTT.

Original poster
Lilllypad11 · 30/12/2023 18:41

Testina · 30/12/2023 18:37

What does, “I’m done with my dad” actually mean to you? That you’re done with living off him?

I can’t be bothered to maintain a real with him. His shouting is intolerable. He argued with me on Christmas Day because I didn’t feel up to talking to my aunty who was a guest and instead of actually saying “hey I know you’re having a crap day because you cried all morning but you need to make an effort” he went “you’ve just sat there and not bothered talking to aunt sue. Made no effort to make Xmas dinner (even though I actually had and he sat on his arse all day in front of the tv). Stop being so moody.” I retaliated and said “I don’t know what to say at the moment but just leave me alone for now and I’ll try” his response was “ugh you’re honestly just the worst person” so I just said “don’t talk to me again” my mum vouched for me with this and said he was being pedantic

OP posts:
Testina · 30/12/2023 18:42

“You always say it’s your period that makes you moody”

And what is this shit? 🙄
Stop doing women a disservice by perpetuating that we can’t control our behaviour because of our girl-hormones. It doesn’t help our sex to be taken seriously.
Grow up.

Original poster
Lilllypad11 · 30/12/2023 18:42

Catapultaway · 30/12/2023 18:40

Hopefully he sees sense and kicks you out. You're 27, staying in their house and acting like your 12.
I'm guessing you will read all the replies and still think you're in the right though

I’m not in the right. But I am
not having him raise his voice at me. It’s really unkind to call someone a loser when they’re experiencing a break up of 6 year relationship. Then say he’s constantly been there for me. Well it’s common sense you’re a parent. It’s what you sign up for.

OP posts:
Familiaritybreedscontemptso · 30/12/2023 18:42

OP when I was 27 I was married, owned a house and had a dc. You are behaving like a spoilt child. I’m not surprised your dad snapped at you moping around after someone who isn’t interested in you. Sounds like your father was telling you some home truths and the truth can be hard to hear. It’s ok that you’re upset. Now work out how you’re going to grow up, take responsibility and get on with your life.

tuvamoodyson · 30/12/2023 18:43

To be fair, I don’t think Aunt Sue missed much…

OldTinHat · 30/12/2023 18:43

Tbh, I thought you were about 17 from your post.

You're going to have to suck it up if you want your parents to continue to provide a roof over your head. Sounds like you've been hard work and your dad reached breaking point.

None of your business who he is texting. You need to be polite, respectful, you're an adult after all. If you can't manage to do that, then I'm afraid you will have to move out ASAP.

Stop flouncing, apologise, act your age and look at rooms to rent.

Testina · 30/12/2023 18:43

“I can’t be bothered to maintain a real with him”

Is that typo for relationship?
When are you going to start paying your way then, and then move out?

Cas112 · 30/12/2023 18:43

Your 27 OP not a 17 year old teenager, you shouldn't be acting like this

HurdyGurdy19 · 30/12/2023 18:44

Ahhhh, that's a lovely story. Very clever of you to remember your argument verbatim.

Clearly with him being an "abhorrent arsehole" you won't want to be living under his roof, and contributing only "what you can" (which I can guarantee won't be close to what you actually cost to have living there).

When my son (age 31, still living here) has the occasional outburst, I remind him that he is a fully grown adult, and we are under no obligation to house him.

You'd do well to remember that yourself. Having flounced off, I wouldn't expect you to return, other than to apologise for your behaviour, collect your possessions, and to provide a forwarding address.

Original poster
Lilllypad11 · 30/12/2023 18:44

Cas112 · 30/12/2023 18:43

Your 27 OP not a 17 year old teenager, you shouldn't be acting like this

The thing is. He’s the actual problem here. His attitude and shouting. And very loud shouting at that.

OP posts:
PlacidPenelope · 30/12/2023 18:44

Then say he’s constantly been there for me. Well it’s common sense you’re a parent. It’s what you sign up for.

They don't sign up for being treated the way you are treating them. It's all about you and your woes isn't it? One rule for you regarding texting and one rule for everyone else.

Testina · 30/12/2023 18:45

“Then say he’s constantly been there for me. Well it’s common sense you’re a parent. It’s what you sign up for.”

🤣 are you sure you’re 27?
Most parents don’t sign up for bankrolling grown arse adults who repay them in teenage tantrums.

Howbizzare22 · 30/12/2023 18:45

Not what you want to hear OP but I’m in agreement with every other poster. You are in the wrong and handled this very badly. Silent treatment is so childish and often considered actually very abusive. He raised his voice which wasn’t great but I can understand it. You take take take but are disrespectful & unappreciative. All the support in your breakup, all the rent subsidised as you only pay ‘where you can’ yet are in your late twenties. You believe it’s ok to ask him who he’s texting and expect an answer but will not tolerate this yourself. Double standards. You are clinging on to him “calling me a loser” which yep was not nice but in fact appears to be a reference to your behaviour not to you as a person and a reference to him wanting to see you happy and not mope about a guy he clearly thinks doesn’t deserve you.
I hope you can see in this mirror we are all holding up to you that you are definitely the unreasonable one in this scenario and hopefully you can be mature enough to hold out the olive branch to him and grow from this.

Original poster
Lilllypad11 · 30/12/2023 18:45

HurdyGurdy19 · 30/12/2023 18:44

Ahhhh, that's a lovely story. Very clever of you to remember your argument verbatim.

Clearly with him being an "abhorrent arsehole" you won't want to be living under his roof, and contributing only "what you can" (which I can guarantee won't be close to what you actually cost to have living there).

When my son (age 31, still living here) has the occasional outburst, I remind him that he is a fully grown adult, and we are under no obligation to house him.

You'd do well to remember that yourself. Having flounced off, I wouldn't expect you to return, other than to apologise for your behaviour, collect your possessions, and to provide a forwarding address.

Oh yeah my dad said that. He said let us know where to leave your stuff because you’re pushing me to chuck you out this household. So I said no worries. I’ve booked a hotel for the next two nights.

OP posts:
Coconutter24 · 30/12/2023 18:45

Quite rude to sit through a dinner spending the whole time on your phone, sounds like he was probably concerned it could be your ex you were speaking to or he could of just been asking as that is what you do to him. You escalated the situation by walking off and then ignoring him the next day. For what reason did you ignore him was it simply because he asked who you were texting and you didn’t want to say? He probably flipped out cos he’s fed up of your shitty behaviour/attitude. You say he mentioned you don’t pay bills but you contribute whenever you can… do you work?

Testina · 30/12/2023 18:46

“I’ve booked a hotel for the next two nights.”

Yeah, that’ll learn ‘em.

LakeTiticaca · 30/12/2023 18:47

You sound as bad as each other tbh.
Perhaps at 27 you should start looking for alternative accommodation

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