Casual pre-arranged lunch.

[placemats]

So this lunch today was arranged about 4 weeks ago and the brief was it was to be a snacking affair and a film after. We decided on what food to bring and what film to watch. It's three of us and we meet up regularly.

Anyway I set off but time has been delayed for arrival by 15 minutes and that's not a worry. I can take my time driving (and avoiding the potholes on the way). However, I missed the turning and got lost - it's a maze of roundabouts - texted to ask for a post code. 20 mins later sat waiting and still no reply, so I text I'm going home.

Halfway home I get a text with the post code so go back. Arrive and food is being put out onto the table and I put my food I've brought. Friend 1, not the host, says 'Oh did you bake that? We probably won't eat it so you can take it home.' To which I replied 'Yes that's a very good idea, in fact I'll take it home now.' And I left. (Forgot my handbag so had to go back).

Was I unreasonable?

If I'd struggled to get somewhere (with delayed responses to my texts/calls), and the first thing someone said to me when I finally arrived was that my food wasn't wanted and shouldn't even be put on the table, I might very well be tempted to turn on my heel and leave, too, though I'd probably have satisfied myself with a sharp look and a word or two.

They'll get over it.

What an odd person you are op. Do you have many friends?

Over reacting much?

I can't follow this. Why post if you think its just funny? Why was your friend rude about your baking? When you went back for the bag I'd assume there'd be a massive argument but you said it was all hugs and apologies? I'm 61 so hope when I am 63 like you OP I will understand.

BTW I've got a DD22 and if I told her what had happened she'd initially be upset on my behalf and assume the friends had behaved outrageously. Because either they did and your reaction was therefore entirely reasonable, or they didn't in which case, yeah - still don't understand.

The OP asked if leaving was an overreaction - she didn't ask for a series of comments demanding to know how old she was and suggesting she has Alzheimer's. Unnecessary.

Your 'friend' sounds like a pain in the arse, thus it sounds as though you perhaps weren't that keen on going in the first place, and leapt on the excuse to leave.

Maybe it'd be a better idea to just have catch ups with the other friend? It's perfectly acceptable to avoid someone you don't/no longer like.

It puzzles me why people maintain friendships with people they clearly don't like (my MIL has a large circle of friends, and I don't think she actually likes any of them 😂). I've always just stepped away from such 'friendships' - I'd far rather spend an afternoon alone, reading/watching TV, than spend it with people I don't like.

Never visit the Sistine Chapel, if that is how to respond to a friend's comment

You were just stressed op and didn't have a minute to decompress. I think when your friend made that comment you were still in a heightened state and so you reacted in that state. If you had been table to take a few minutes, your mood would have settled and all would have been ok. It is quite funny in one way and I'm sure you will have a laugh about it with your friends at a later date. Some of reactions here to your situation are more extreme than your reaction and no one here was actually involved in any of it. Enjoy your cranberry and Brie twist and meet up with them again in the New Year.

While you did overreact, and could certainly have reacted better, I don't think you were completely unreasonable to be upset.

I can absolutely see that if I got lost and stressed, text and phoned for help and felt ignored (and may have extrapolated that with my social anxiety to the other people were not bothered that I'd not turned up) and then when I did finally get there was met with 'no one wants that thing you've put effort into making for us, take it away', thus confirming that I wasn't welcome, I may well have felt like saying 'oh, fuck off then' and leaving.

I'd probably have left my handbag behind too OP, fwiw!

While I would apologise to the host, I don't think I'd be apologising to the friend who was rude. They should be apologising to you, although I wouldn't be holding my breath.

Why did you need a post code? You’ve been there before, so why didn’t you just google the postcode for a nearby supermarket/petrol station/any landmark you would recognise and head there, then you’d find your way to the house.

Also, the way the stormed off because they said they didn’t like what you had baked? Sorry, but they don’t have to eat something they don’t like just coz you baked it. Rather than uncovering it and sitting it out, they just told you and you flounced? Grow up.

Agreed. I'm actually horrified by the ageism on this thread and the amount of people chucking "dementia" or Alzheimer's around (interchangeably... because they're such experts they don't even know the difference) because people have said things they didn't like.

Christmas MN is always rough though, there are a lot of posters who say they only come on here at Christmas and I think some of them don't know how to talk to people.

You did overreact and should have called for the post code but your friend was rude about the food you brought. At least she apologised. I guess no harm done if there are apologies on both sides. I can see why you got upset, and you seemed stressed anyway. I can't believe the poster suggesting you have dementia!

I can understand you getting stressed by the journey, you were late and lost but it's not their fault they weren't looking at their phones. If you've been there before, it's totally reasonable to assume you'd just Google the address or somewhere nearby that you know and go from there. So I think messaging them to say you were going home was rude.

I think Friend 1's comment about just taking your food home was uncalled for and really rude, I can understand why you were annoyed by that but you did overreact by storming out.

I imagine she only said that about your food because they were already ready to eat and maybe it needed heated?
Overreaction for sure, but sure we all have them, and a friend will understand. Sounds like you were over stressed and maybe hangry. I’m sure they know you well enough to know how to take you.

Me too tbh

There have been some horrible comments on here. Those responsible should hang their heads in same.

I think that friend sounds horrible and made OP feel unwanted. I think she did what was best for her and a lot of people would have done similar.

I think it was quite a rude comment to make when someone has brought something along to share.

*shame

Do you? You are being unnecessarily nasty.

If i were 20+ minutes late somewhere the host thought I knew how to get to theyd be checking their phones to see where I was... and the OP did call both friends phones as well!

If I had taken pre-agreed food to share and then was abruptly told no need, put it away, we won't want that... by one of them, I'd be pretty pissed off too.

I dunno that I'd have flounced, I am pretty lazy but I wouldn't have been particularly pleased!

A normal comment in a sea of quite frankly shocking nastiness

Plenty of friends thank you. Because I don't strop off for weird reasons that make no sense

Storming out, then having to return for your handbag 😂😂

I was alluding to how nasty you are in this thread. I very much doubt anyone who has your mindset has lots of friends. Probably people that don't want you to be unpleasant to them.

Yes this seems like the best thing to have done. It would have diffused a situation that hasn’t really been resolved for the next time the three of them meet up (if there is a next time).