Casual pre-arranged lunch.

[placemats]

So this lunch today was arranged about 4 weeks ago and the brief was it was to be a snacking affair and a film after. We decided on what food to bring and what film to watch. It's three of us and we meet up regularly.

Anyway I set off but time has been delayed for arrival by 15 minutes and that's not a worry. I can take my time driving (and avoiding the potholes on the way). However, I missed the turning and got lost - it's a maze of roundabouts - texted to ask for a post code. 20 mins later sat waiting and still no reply, so I text I'm going home.

Halfway home I get a text with the post code so go back. Arrive and food is being put out onto the table and I put my food I've brought. Friend 1, not the host, says 'Oh did you bake that? We probably won't eat it so you can take it home.' To which I replied 'Yes that's a very good idea, in fact I'll take it home now.' And I left. (Forgot my handbag so had to go back).

Was I unreasonable?

They ignored her calls asking for help.

They told her to shove the food she had spent time baking.

How on earth is the OP rude?

never been busy and missed a call?

OP my mum started getting lost and quite short tempered in her early 60’s and did ultimately have a form of dementia. Just something to keep an eye on.

Stropped? Really?

How old are some people on here.

I thought MN was for adults, I stopped ‘stropping’ when I stopped being a child.

Remember they probably weren't checking phones as you'd been there before and so they wouldn't have been keeping an eye out to see if got found the place ok.

Any idea why they said they wouldn't eat the food? Depending on context that is rude when you made it especially to share. I think I'd have a bit of an "ouch" reaction to that, partic if already stressed.

But in general, storming off is not a helpful response. Would have been better to find out why they didn't want it (there may have been a reason eg really not hungry as overdone it the past few days), or point out that you'd spend quite a bit of time on it and so it'd be nice to serve it. You could try some mindfulness or something to help you pause between feeling (understandably!) slighted and reacting. But we can't all behave perfectly all the time can we...

Just apologise and say you got stressed by being lost.

I don’t think you overreacted OP, I’d have probably done the same. Sounds like it was the final straw.

Shame you had to go back for your handbag 🙈

Ahh everyone makes a tit of themselves some time or other.

Just call or message to say you'd got stressed out with the journey and overreacted, and apologise.

Do you want a medal?

If Friend 1 normal tries to make food last its possible she was trying to do you a favour albeit in a clumsy way.
If you've been before there would be no reason for them to be checking phones for direction requests, so that just sounds like a missed call whilst welcoming Friend 1 and setting up.

In your place I'd apologise and chalk it up to a bad day...and tuck into your baking with a movie.

Doesnt sound like you wanted to go in the first place

I think you overreacted a bit but your mates were rude and dismissive about your baking! They don't sound very nice.

What's it like being so perfect?

I know, my daughter laughed at the handbag!

She doesn't sound odd. She sounds like nearly every Mumsnetter on the forum. We all have our off days. We all behave strangely at times, but when I come on the forum all the women make out that they are angels. And then you read their responses to threads where they are swearing and cussing and calling people names etc. It's quite funny.

Op, you really have to apologise. I hope they make allowances for you. It's stupid for friends to fall out over something so trivial.

Also, I keep my phone on silent. And if hosting I'd be busy doing last min things then chatting to the first friend to arrive. I'd only put it on "loud" if someone was coming for the first time and I knew they might call for help.

V frustrating for you in the moment, but can see how your pals might miss your calls unintentionally

I was more short tempered with three children under the age of ten, during my 40s. I have certainly mellowed with age.

I don’t get how on earth you headed out without knowing where you were going.

I suspect you did know exactly where you were going and am baffled as to why you wanted drama.

You sound like really hard work.

You were late, you got lost and your response was to sit at the side of the road for 20 waiting to be texted back, rather than entering the address into Google to get the post code.

Bizarre response (unless you have trouble using a smartphone, but I’m assuming competence).

This could have been resolved with a 20 second Google search. No need to fall out with people or make a twit of yourself.

Did you overreact because you were embarrassed?

good grief that is a little frightening!

God you sound like my mother - she would have exactly this kind of emotionally immature response.

I think so too

I’ve no idea but stropping from a friend’s house because they didn’t want to eat something I’d brought would be very weird behaviour to me (I’m 62 so not far off OP’s age). If a friend did that to me I’d be questioning our friendship as I’m not good around attention seeking drama llamas or people with short fuses.

Yes please that would be lovely.

Wristfolds · Today 16:06

OP my mum started getting lost and quite short tempered in her early 60’s and did ultimately have a form of dementia. Just something to keep an eye on.

That’s what happened with my DM, sadly she’s now early 70’s and lives in a nursing home.