To be disappointed with SILs decision re new baby.

[ankara]

Respecting that all parents are quite within their rights to determine interaction between others and their babies, I am very disappointed and a bit 🙄 at SILs decision to put up a big sign at baby's cradle saying no touching , no lifting, no kissing.
There are no medical reasons for this. Baby is three weeks old.
None of the family have been allowed to do the above unless baby has been handed to family to give a bottle or r change baby.
I understand; that this is their first and is of course most precious but we are all a bit and also disappointed as we love babies and we're so looking forward to cuddles .
Brother just goes along with her.
Is this a new thing? My kids are nearly teens now and I've not seen this before .

Is a baby, not a toy.

Fair play to your SIL, so many people treat new mothers and babies with no consideration of their needs at all.

Of course, but it's our first time
Meeting baby and we won't see him again for some months.

The sign is a bit much. 😆

I agree with your SIL and wish I'd have had the balls to do that.
When I had a newborn with a stream of people and someone said 'I need to have a go now' I was about to blow my top!
Like pp said, they're babies not toys!

Not unreasonable to be disappointed- newborn snuggles are amazing. But honestly she’s 100% doing the right thing not allowing people too. New babies are just so precious and fragile and germs really are too big for them. You will get your cuddles one day but this stance is to protect baby and support mums mental health. X

They won’t see your teenagers for months either but I’m sure you would put boundary’s in place if people were hugging them and kissing them too much / you thought they might get sick from everyone touching them?

If people are just randomly picking the baby up from it's cradle then it sounds like she needed to put some boundaries in place.

Of course you should wait until offered or at least ask first before picking up someone elses baby.

It sounds like you can still have cuddles but you can't just pick the baby up whenever you want which is fair enough.

Your sil is right. People push boundaries because they "want a cuddle".

See now, as far as I'm aware new babies have been passed around for inspection/cuddles since forever. Most seem to weather 'big germs' ok. I don't think they ARE that fragile are they?

It’s her child. She probably does not want to risk her baby getting ill from someone breathing all over baby and passing on germs and bugs.

It’s a bit extreme but were you expecting you would pick baby up whenever you wanted and without parents permission?

I’ll go with the kissing at a pinch, but babies need physical contact and to get used to the human race. A quick cuddle with a relative is not going to hurt them, however it’s her choice.

Well done to your SIL for making a stand.

It is a medical thing. Stops them infecting her baby with colds etc. Are you taking off your outdoor layer, washing hands etc.
Fair play to them. Wish I'd had her balls.

The sign is weird but I think it's ok to say that nobody is allowed to kiss the baby especially. I don't understand why they made a sign instead of just telling you all though.

You mention that family are allowed to hold baby if Sil hands the child to them ? Sounds fine to me. Mother and baby’s needs trump visiting relatives’ any day.
The sign is a bit rude, imo, but I imagine there’s a reason why new mum thinks it necessary.
But you know all this.

It’s stressful having a new baby at this time of year with all the winter bugs around and lots of socialising. It’s one thing seeing people one at a time and another having your baby not near you or in your arms for hours at a time. I’d wait until she’s holding them and then ask if you wash your hands and she would feel comfortable if you can have a cuddle. That way she’s handing over baby and not seeing them just taken from their bed.

Covid, RsV, flu, noro etc are all rampant this time of year and very dangerous for a newborn.

Well, inwojld hope anyone would know that picking up a baby from.its crib without asking is rude and inappropriate. But I do think it's sad when people are so.precious with their babies and don't want to let other people.give them cuddles. My dc spent hours snoozing on their grandparents as new born and enjoying that closeness.

Maybe the sign is because she expected people being pushy about the baby and not respect boundaries?

I have a few friends with babies at the moment. I love baby cuddles and have been so excited to meet them but I wait for their lead.

So I visited a new baby recently and waited for her mum to offer for me to hold her. Her mum knows when she's ready (chilled, not needing a feed).

I also never kiss babies. It's not hard to be respectful and sensitive to new parents and what they want.

You dont have a right to this baby and regardless of how silly or unfair you think thier decision is ( or indeed whether you think this is a decision they both made or whether your SIL put your brother up to it ), its actually not your business or a decision you have any right to criticise or judge. Your role is to be delighted at the birth of the new family member and lovely and supportive of the new parents. Be very careful that in your excitement you dont come over as entitled and judgy, everyone has their own ways and preferences and you could really do some damage to long term family relationships. Take a step back, stay lovely and supportive, and see if they dont just relax as time goes on and the baby gets its innoculations, immune system up and running etc. They are in all likelihood not making these rules to be petty or to score a point against you, they are just trying to do their best in this terrifying new role of protecting this infinitedly precious new life. At times like this a bit of perspective is good. Its not about you and your experience of what you did in early motherhood, or your desire to hold and fudd over the child.

Don't care.

They aren't your play thing. The sign is obviously becuase so many people ignore her when she asks. More power to her. You don't have to agree with her you just need to respect her decision. If you can't do that ask yourself why you don't give a shit about mum's wants for her child.

The sign is ridiculous & I'm someone who would be horrified if I was asked to hold a baby.

They probably all argue with her or ignore her

WTF is with all these people thinking they are entitled to “baby cuddles”? It’s not a toy!!

You’ll get to see the baby, and more to the point you’ll be visiting your own actual child, isn’t that enough?