Page 36 | To be disappointed with SILs decision re new baby.

ankara · 2023-12-26T09:02:21+00:00

Respecting that all parents are quite within their rights to determine interaction between others and their babies, I am very disappointed and a bit 🙄 at SILs decision to put up a big sign at baby's cradle saying no touching , no lifting, no kissing. There are no medical reasons for this. Baby is three weeks old. None of the family have been allowed to do the above unless baby has been handed to family to give a bottle or r change baby. I understand; that this is their first and is of course most precious but we are all a bit [confused] and also disappointed as we love babies and we're so looking forward to cuddles . Brother just goes along with her. Is this a new thing? My kids are nearly teens now and I've not seen this before .

Katypp · 30/12/2023 17:49

florasmama · 30/12/2023 17:13

There really are some nasty pieces of work on this thread. Truly. Completely, all new parents are on a power trip. We want nothing more than to hurt your feelings and to stop you from holding our babies. Please note the sarcasm (I feel the need to make this abundantly clear as I think the only explanation for the way you're all talking about new parents must be that you're all a few bristles short of a broom).

Interestingly, one of you ignored my response to me addressing you. Clearly didn't know how to respond and felt the need to continue labouring a point that is not only completely unreasonable but also potentially dangerous.

Gonna cut this short because reading some of the hideous things that you are all writing makes me very angry.

Here is the simple gist:

No new parents are bothered about power. We are bothered about our babies. You are not important enough for us to even be thinking about. I personally wouldn't want any of you near my child because you clearly only care about yourselves. It's astonishing how many PPs have talked about how their babies went into ICU with RSV and other conditions at an extremely tender age and you seem to all completely miss those. Conveniently. Doesn't suit your agenda or feelings on the matter though, does it? Ick.

If you can't wait a few months for a baby to be vaccinated and to have built some more immunity, then that's purely down to your own selfishness. Shame on you. Huge thanks to those posters who speak total sense and are supportive of new mothers. We are all just doing our best.

I have said upthread I have no interest in holding anyone's baby, so rest assured I don't feel 'entitled' to hold yours thanks.

'You are not important enough for us to even be thinking about. I personally wouldn't want any of you near my child because you clearly only care about yourselves.'

And you accuse others of being nasty pieces of work?

Cmonluv · 30/12/2023 17:53

Katypp · 30/12/2023 17:49

I have said upthread I have no interest in holding anyone's baby, so rest assured I don't feel 'entitled' to hold yours thanks.

'You are not important enough for us to even be thinking about. I personally wouldn't want any of you near my child because you clearly only care about yourselves.'

And you accuse others of being nasty pieces of work?

Show quote history

There's nothing nasty in what you quoted

florasmama · 30/12/2023 17:59

@Cmonluv At this point I wouldn't even bother 😂 Thank you though. As I said, a few bristles short of a broom.

Though I will say though, @Katypp, in no you wouldn't be important enough to new parents when they've just had a baby. If you think that's nasty then you've really proven the point I made. Me myself and I and all that!

florasmama · 30/12/2023 18:00

*is no

Katypp · 30/12/2023 19:10

iamwhatiam23 · 30/12/2023 17:14

@Cmonluv yes im a mil and an ex midwife actually! It takes a village to raise a child and i think that in a few years studies will show the negative effects that all this insular behaviour has had on the generation of children its being inflicted on! As for germs, do people seriously believe that NHS staff/ midwives don't go to work when they have colds etc? Babies are exposed to all sorts from the minute they are born fgs!

I would save your breath tbh.
The general assumption on here is that the current guidelines on everything are the definitive ones and anyone who brought up children before around 2020 know nothing at all and are either pitied or sneered at.
I agree with you about the isolation so revered now and I think that and the baby-led mantra which means mum basically has no free time at all means there is going to a lot to unpick in the future.
But we know nothing worth listening to at all because Internet, research etc.
Only a few on here seem to have the sense or experience to realise the 'right way' is constantly changing and these sign-writers will almost certainly look back and cringe

Justforxmas2023 · 30/12/2023 19:10

florasmama · 30/12/2023 17:59

@Cmonluv At this point I wouldn't even bother 😂 Thank you though. As I said, a few bristles short of a broom.

Though I will say though, @Katypp, in no you wouldn't be important enough to new parents when they've just had a baby. If you think that's nasty then you've really proven the point I made. Me myself and I and all that!

Yeah I don’t think you said anything nasty either.
This person continues with their narrative and seems unwilling to try and see another point of view at all…
I have followed this thread with interest and there are a few other similar posters- I can’t decide if it’s lack of knowledge about the risks or bitterness or both.

Katypp · 30/12/2023 19:14

@Justforxmas2023 we posted at the same time but your post fabulously proves my point

Justforxmas2023 · 30/12/2023 19:34

Katypp · 30/12/2023 19:10

I would save your breath tbh.
The general assumption on here is that the current guidelines on everything are the definitive ones and anyone who brought up children before around 2020 know nothing at all and are either pitied or sneered at.
I agree with you about the isolation so revered now and I think that and the baby-led mantra which means mum basically has no free time at all means there is going to a lot to unpick in the future.
But we know nothing worth listening to at all because Internet, research etc.
Only a few on here seem to have the sense or experience to realise the 'right way' is constantly changing and these sign-writers will almost certainly look back and cringe

Show quote history

I actually think the majority of posters here also think the sign was a bit over the top but recognise it’s coming from a caring place from a new mum trying her best. To respond to your points:

Yes we need to follow current guidelines add these are based on best available evidence at the current time.
I don’t think anyone is pitying or sneering at mothers pre 2020, just the world is a different place now since the pandemic and attitudes are a bit different. If anything I’ve noticed sneering at ‘us’ new mums who are considered on this thread to be precious or power hungry.
i haven’t noticed anyone suggesting isolation- just caution in the newborn period when babies are at their most vulnerable- this can be relaxed post first vaccines and once they are older.

surely everyone is just doing their best with the information available. Different people have different thresholds for what level of risk they can accept depending on their personal experience and knowledge. For example I think you’ve been dubious of people not having common sense with hand washing etc in your previous posts but lots of us have found this to be quite lacking in visitors unfortunately.

As with everything, I’d imagine the most sensible approach is with moderation -
caution in first few weeks of life with plenty of socialisation once they are old enough. Not sure what’s wrong/power trippy/precious with that?

Justforxmas2023 · 30/12/2023 19:39

Katypp · 30/12/2023 19:14

@Justforxmas2023 we posted at the same time but your post fabulously proves my point

Just seen this and likewise! If this isn’t sneering I don’t know what is.

thing47 · 30/12/2023 21:31

iamwhatiam23 · 30/12/2023 17:42

@thing47 what a very grown up adult response 🙄

Thank you. I felt it was perfectly pitched at precisely the same level of intellectual insight as your posts display.