To think this is madness and not safe?!

[chocolateaupain]

17 year old DD is saying she is going out this evening to meet an 18 year old lad who she's never met before and knows nothing about. We live in the middle of nowhere- apparently he's "getting dropped off" near our house and she's "going for a walk" with him. She's chatted to him over FaceTime and text and they have mutual friends apparently but essentially she knows nothing about him. She plans to just walk around in the dark and cold in a rural area with him (lots of unlit areas). I've told her this is madness and to meet him somewhere lit and safe like a pub / cafe / restaurant for a proper date. She won't listen.

Am I overreacting?!

Absolutely not!

No you are not overreacting

I honestly feel sick but she is insisting!! Wtf do I do?

I've tried saying I wouldn't even do this as an almost 40 year old woman!

No I am totally with you , but not sure how you are going to stop it .

It is madness and I would advise my daughter against it if I were you.
And I'd probably make sure DH and I were going for a similar walk and she was location sharing with me on WhatsApp if she didn't see sense.

How did they meet? Was it through the mutual friends? Could she bring him in instead then sit and chat in the garden if she wants privacy?

You tell her that you do not want your daughter raped for Christmas so her choice is pub (and you will drive her) or not to go out. Ask her if she really wants to choose this hill to die on at Christmas.

I've got a toddler with me, and DH isn't home for another couple hours so I can't go anywhere. I'm so fuming and upset with her.

Tell her to rearrange for a cafe/pub or you'll walk out the door with her calling 'LOVE YOU DARRLING, don't forget your jacket, it's chilly' and if you happen to see him, 'Ooh he's very good looking'

Cringe is the best weapon with teenagers.

I honestly don't want to invite him in, we literally know nothing about him.

That doesn’t sound like a good idea at all. Chances are that he’s a very nice young man but you can’t risk it. Is she normally a sensible girl?

You might not want to invite him in, but that's a better option than her going out alone with him

I think I agree with this. I'd give her £20 and drop her at a pub and collect her too.

Teenagers are so hard.
My DS is 17 and just thinks he's invincible.
Can she arrange a group to go out if she is determined.
Explain to her that part of being grown-up is making grown-up decisions, and that this isn't a decision any grown woman would make.

Surely it’s safer to have him in the house than them going out alone?

Why don't you ask her to invite him round to your house. He doesn't need to talk to you or the rest of the family . Let her take him into a room you are not using. If that's her room that's ok it makes much more sense and will be much safer than wandering around in the cold.
What she is suggesting is madness. Why is she so insistent?

Can you persuade her to meet him in a cafe or pub instead? I wouldn't do what she is doing and I am 50.

is she winding you up? i only ask because that kimd of behaviour is usually kept secret or between friends and certainly not shared with parents.

are you being punished for something?

No she's not winding me up she's serious.

And no, I am not inviting a random man I don't know into my home on Christmas Eve when I have myself and my 2 year old daughter to consider as well!

I would do anything I could to stop my 18 year old doing this. She is being incredibly unwise, even for her age. Is she not very streetwise?

I've told her she needs to arrange a proper date with him in a public place, I'll happily take her and collect her. But this is madness

I've currently got my sister on the phone to try and talk sense into her, she has a really close relationship with her Aunty so I'm hoping this works!! If my sister can't convince her this is mental no one can

Why does she want to do this, rather than meet up with actual friends? Very odd.

Oh gosh, could you give her 'quite a bit' (I'm thinking like £30) of money to go and have a nice time in somewhere safe and 'public?' Make it very appealing?