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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is madness and not safe?!

385 replies

chocolateaupain · 24/12/2023 16:33

17 year old DD is saying she is going out this evening to meet an 18 year old lad who she's never met before and knows nothing about. We live in the middle of nowhere- apparently he's "getting dropped off" near our house and she's "going for a walk" with him. She's chatted to him over FaceTime and text and they have mutual friends apparently but essentially she knows nothing about him. She plans to just walk around in the dark and cold in a rural area with him (lots of unlit areas). I've told her this is madness and to meet him somewhere lit and safe like a pub / cafe / restaurant for a proper date. She won't listen.

Am I overreacting?!

OP posts:
rochenutty · 25/12/2023 17:07

all i did was click all op messages

and whilst i would be tied up with anxiety if this was my daughter of any age… i would not have been remotely as argumentative and offensive to posters as the Op was last night

Original poster
chocolateaupain · 25/12/2023 17:15

Fucking hell

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Keep the Christmas laughs coming. Amazing. 🥂😂🥂

OP posts:
Original poster
chocolateaupain · 25/12/2023 17:16

Fucking shameless 😂😂😂😂😂 I'm actually dying

OP posts:
Original poster
chocolateaupain · 25/12/2023 17:17

Whoever you are - may I truly THANK YOU from the bottom of our hearts for that laugh. Just shared that with the room and we are crying 😂😂😂

Cheers!! 🥂

OP posts:
Original poster
chocolateaupain · 25/12/2023 17:18

Incidentally... We are more like The Royle Family than Shameless. Sorry to disappoint 😂😂😂

OP posts:
Original poster
chocolateaupain · 25/12/2023 17:20

AllIsWellish · 25/12/2023 16:58

Bloody hell , some of you are really bored aren't you . And really offensive

It's just a source of amusement at this point, I wouldn't worry. I am not remotely offended 😂

OP posts:
clarepetal · 25/12/2023 17:37

Ignore the people being dicks. The fact that you were so worried shows you are a great mum. I hope you've had a good Christmas. Xx

ChristmasSteps295 · 25/12/2023 18:33

rochenutty · 25/12/2023 15:27

I'm not sure why posters are saying a 17yo is an adult

generally the same posters that moved out at 16
That cook for 15 for one chicken breast
That scorn anyone who doesn’t make their teenagers find work during GCSEs / Alevels

those kinds of posters

I'm not sure what you mean by those kind of posters who moved out at 16.

I left home very early and it wasn't a very pleasant experience. I don't appreciate you making derisive comments about it. I imagine most people who left at that young age had very good and likely tragic reasons, myself included. And I can assure you, the government certainly considered me enough of an adult at that age to manage completely on my own.

By all means go off about feeding five hundred people a single chicken, but don't pick on people who had a shit childhood.

swimsong · 25/12/2023 20:19

rochenutty · 25/12/2023 16:50

Not. A. Chance. you can make us believe thst christmas under your roof has been anything other than akin to a Shameless /Eastenders Christmas Special! 😂

Show quote history

Have you always been a wrong'un?

AllIsWellish · 25/12/2023 21:23

chocolateaupain · 25/12/2023 17:20

It's just a source of amusement at this point, I wouldn't worry. I am not remotely offended 😂

Show quote history

I got a warning last night from mn for telling someone they were talking ahit and had been quite nasty to you . I don't think I've had a post deleted in about 4 years ! 🤣

Original poster
chocolateaupain · 25/12/2023 21:33

@AllIsWellish
There are some really, erm, interesting characters on here aren't there 😬😂

I hope you managed to have a lovely Christmas despite your MN warning (😂), and thank you for sticking up for me!

OP posts:
Original poster
chocolateaupain · 25/12/2023 21:34

clarepetal · 25/12/2023 17:37

Ignore the people being dicks. The fact that you were so worried shows you are a great mum. I hope you've had a good Christmas. Xx

Ahh thank you!

Yes we've had a lovely day thank you, hope you have too x

OP posts:
WingingItSince1973 · 25/12/2023 21:46

anxiousnanna · 24/12/2023 18:47

I must be the absolute worse mother in the world based on all the comments. if my 17 year old daugher told me she was meeting someone she had never met in the middle of no where and they were going to walk about for a bit.. nope.. not happening... no compromise.. no aunties stepping in.. no taxi's to the pub.

If the plan had been a lovely family night in, then thats what we would have! It stuns me the amount of people on here who seem to think its ok for a young girl to meet someone she does not know under the circumstances the OP suggested?

I am honestly truely shocked... that there are so many parents out there, i will assume mums, but i believe there may be dads on here too, who actually think this scenario is ok...

i clearly need to give my head a shake...

I have a 17 year old dd plus older DDs so been there 3 times. Couldn't agree more. Was so shocked at the replies!

Nanaof1 · 26/12/2023 03:54

rochenutty · 25/12/2023 17:07

all i did was click all op messages

and whilst i would be tied up with anxiety if this was my daughter of any age… i would not have been remotely as argumentative and offensive to posters as the Op was last night

Perhaps if you had read some of the horrid, nasty posts that were aimed at the OP, you would understand her reaction, which came after so many and too many posts from the unsettled, insane and obnoxious. They were accusing her of being a bad mother and everything else because her sister talked to her DD and she did not want the young man to come in the house. The posts were brutal, unkind and downright belittling.
I lost my temper for the OP. It was like all the Christmas Grinches came out and to MN last night (in the USA so it was last night for me).

OP--Glad you had a wonderful Christmas. We did too, all in all; though I was ill and wasn't feeling up to doing much. Tomorrow we go and have Christmas with DD and DGD, so I am glad I am starting to feel better.

soldieringonasever · 26/12/2023 06:51

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Jifmicroliquid · 26/12/2023 06:56

How did her date go?
I completely agree with you OP, I wouldn’t have been happy in that situation at all. It’s basic safety when meeting people online to meet in a busy area. Not sure why you have been getting so much grief on here.

Original poster
chocolateaupain · 26/12/2023 08:55

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Sorry? Wrong thread? 😬

OP posts:
Original poster
chocolateaupain · 26/12/2023 08:57

Jifmicroliquid · 26/12/2023 06:56

How did her date go?
I completely agree with you OP, I wouldn’t have been happy in that situation at all. It’s basic safety when meeting people online to meet in a busy area. Not sure why you have been getting so much grief on here.

I think I'm getting grief because people are bored / unhappy at Christmas and projecting that outwardly on an internet stranger? Just an educated guess.

Her date was great thank you - she came home very happy and I actually "met" the guy yesterday evening too on FaceTime and chatted briefly with him, wished him a merry Christmas etc. He does seem lovely to be fair! I've (slightly) warmed to him 😂

OP posts:
ZombieGirl86 · 26/12/2023 08:58

She's 17 just say no.

Outwiththenorm · 26/12/2023 09:06

Merry Christmas Op. Glad it all went well.

Original poster
chocolateaupain · 26/12/2023 09:08

@ZombieGirl86
Things have moved on somewhat from when I wrote the OP on Christmas Eve 😬

OP posts:
nutster · 26/12/2023 15:24

chocolateaupain · 25/12/2023 17:17

Whoever you are - may I truly THANK YOU from the bottom of our hearts for that laugh. Just shared that with the room and we are crying 😂😂😂

Cheers!! 🥂

over what post?! i want to read a post which is so funny that an entire family start crying with laughter over it!

nutster · 26/12/2023 15:29

i’d have been tied up with anxiety about this

And when all sorted, I would have been upset with my daughter for being 17 and so thoughtless and actually rather cruel to have known that her mum was beside herself with worry and also that she was home alone with her baby sister. Is she otherwise kind, loving and supportive and this was one off behaviour?

Do you have the contact details for her group of friends? or perhaps just her closest one?

Original poster
chocolateaupain · 26/12/2023 15:40

@nutster

The one about our Christmas being "akin to Shameless or an episode of Eastenders" 😂😂 I mean, I've never seen Shameless but I'm aware of the type of person it portrays, so that was indeed very amusing.

And to be fair, I quite like an Eastenders Christmas special 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
Original poster
chocolateaupain · 26/12/2023 15:41

And yes. She is otherwise a lovely girl! So I have no idea what happened on Christmas Eve - I assume she's quite smitten with this boy and lost her usual sensible self? 😬

OP posts:
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