To think this is rude? Dinner table etiquette

[EdinaMonsoon]

Out for dinner & drinks with another couple last night. Immediately they finished their meals, they began stacking their plates and pushing them to the centre of the table, meaning DH & I had their used plates right in front of us. We didn’t say anything but they do it every time we go out to eat and we both find it rude and bad manners. Do people stack plates in a restaurant after eating? I certainly don’t and wouldn’t. And certainly wouldn’t push my used plate in front of someone else’s!

We also always wait until the last person is finished eating before we make any sign to waiting staff that we’re ready for the plates to be cleared whereas they will grab the attention of anyone passing and ask them to clear their plates even though others at the table are still eating. We’re not slow eaters but dinner a meal out should be enjoyed at a relaxed pace, no? AWBU?

I’m not from the UK, but this is gross. I’d push them back and question them.

I wouldn't be too bothered about their dirty plates, although I'd raise an eyebrow if they were pushing the stack across the table towards me. But the second part of Op's post says that they then signal for waiting staff to come and take their plates, even though others are still eating. That is really rude, and would make me feel rushed.

Not in a restaurant.

And it doesn't always make their jobs easier

Do you scrape them too?

YANBU, I used to be a plate stacker but only with family. And then I read that wait staff don’t like it when people do it because it makes plates dirtier so I stopped.

No way would I have done it with friends or on work meals.

@Qwerty556 obviously thinks that being 'working class means you haven't got a clue about normal etiquette

So who's patronising here?

I can't believe people do this in restaurants.

Self-service cafes, yes. But it's part of the waiting staff's job!

Or do you stack shelves in supermarkets to 'help' too?

There really isn’t anything snobby about not wanting somebody else’s used plate in front of you whilst you finish your meal. And the rest is just very basic restaurant etiquette.

I was wait staff for a long time, never had a issue with people stacking empty plates.

They're going in an industrial dish washer in a second, them being 'a bit dirtier' doesn't make a shred of difference to anything.

When I was a waitress I hated people stacking plates. Made things awkward as you had your own way of doing things and often lead to cutlery being dropped, or to awkwardness when you arrive back at the pot wash. Also you end up with sauce and food on the underside of the plate that gets all over your hands when you are loading the dishwasher.

Yes, that's how I interpreted it too.

It's very rude OP - I would assume that they don't know any better but definitely limit my dinners out with them.

That's not what I said.

There are already comments implying that the "working class" have no manners.

What kind of restaurant were you in, @EdinaMonsoon ?

Odd rather than rude

I was always taught not to clear until everyone had finished, so yes they are a bit "rude"

But when eating with the kids/large family group and a cluttered table we do tend to stack as we go to create more space and hopefully make things easier for the staff.

I agree.

@Qwerty556 why did you brain immediately leap to working class people?

Bad manners

Exactly what I was going to say.

Please don’t do this!

But there are acceptable standards of behaviour in whatever culture you’re in, and what the OP describes is not considered acceptable behaviour in the U.K.

We do scrape the plates in Nando’s because of all the chicken bones. I think it’s easier for the staff if all the bones are contained on one plate. The staff always say thank you 😂

No there wasn’t. Somebody said something about maybe their parents did this and then another poster accused them f making a comment about working class, when they didn’t at all.

What sort of restaurant? If it’s somewhere expensive then you’re paying for the waiting staff to do all the business with the plates. If people are used to only going up The Harvester then I can see why they’ve no manners

It’s really annoying when rude behaviour is put down as cultural, as if other cultures aren’t capable of manners.

Absolutely disgusting manners

That's normal isn't it. Put your knife and fork on your plate, wait for everyone else to finish and then the wait staff come and clear the table. Your plate stays in front of you, that's where the staff need it to be for ease of clearing away