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Original poster

BF bought me a Xmas present instead of paying this month’s rent

303 replies

Jen133 · 22/12/2023 02:09

Hi all, thanks for listening

i have recently bought a flat with the intention of renting out my spare room to cover the costs. My boyfriend suggested instead, he moved in and paid £400 towards bills and food each month (the rental income would have been around £1100 had I got a lodger).

He gave me £300 last month, £100 short, but I let it slide.

He just presented me with a £400 watch for Christmas, which would be very generous, but it turns out that this gift is instead of his monthly payment.

Because he bought me such an expensive present, I rushed out and got him some clothes and took him out for a meal before realising this.

I’d like him to return the watch so that I can have the cash instead but he says I’m being ungrateful and ruining his nice gesture.

Ugh!

TLDR - boyfriend gave me a Xmas present instead of paying towards our bills and food this month. I want to take the present back and have the cash as I already sunk money into buying him something in return.

OP posts:
Fancycheese · 22/12/2023 02:16

You need to get rid of the boyfriend and get a lodger who pays the rent.

SleepingBeautySnores · 22/12/2023 02:17

What a knob! Personally OP, I think he sounds like a bit of a cock lodger, and in your shoes I would be giving him his marching orders. You clearly can't rely on him for the income you need, and these men who make grand gestures at the expense of paying the bills, usually end up getting into debt and bringing you down with them. If that's not the future you want for yourself, tell him that it's not working out, and you've decided to get a proper lodger after all. As for sulking about you ruining his grand gesture, well what he did was stupid and irresponsible, so I think you're perfectly entitled to take the gift back and get a refund. These things are nice if you can afford them, but clearly he can't. Time to throw this one back in OP

SutWytTi · 22/12/2023 02:19

The plan isn't working, you need a proper lodger.

Missingmyusername · 22/12/2023 02:22

SleepingBeautySnores · 22/12/2023 02:17

What a knob! Personally OP, I think he sounds like a bit of a cock lodger, and in your shoes I would be giving him his marching orders. You clearly can't rely on him for the income you need, and these men who make grand gestures at the expense of paying the bills, usually end up getting into debt and bringing you down with them. If that's not the future you want for yourself, tell him that it's not working out, and you've decided to get a proper lodger after all. As for sulking about you ruining his grand gesture, well what he did was stupid and irresponsible, so I think you're perfectly entitled to take the gift back and get a refund. These things are nice if you can afford them, but clearly he can't. Time to throw this one back in OP

^ This

Ohthatsfabulousdarling · 22/12/2023 02:24

Well that's great of him isn't it, plunging you into financial stress over Christmas because he wants to make a grand gesture, isn't it.
Irresponsible git should've figured out a way to pay for the months outgoings first.

autienotnaughty · 22/12/2023 02:26

So two months in and he hasn't paid you the correct rent once. I'd get a lodger after Xmas.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 22/12/2023 02:28

OMG, @Jen133 , why haven't you given him the boot? You had a sound plan to create a secure financial situation for yourself and you gave it up ... for what? 🤦‍♀️

GladTidyings · 22/12/2023 02:29

This sounds like an ex of mine. In months to come he’ll still be harping on about the stupid watch every time you ask him to step up.

Domino20 · 22/12/2023 02:29

Surely you still have a spare room to rent to a lodger?

PaminaMozart · 22/12/2023 02:30

Come on, @Jen133 - you're old enough to buy a flat...... surely you are old enough to know that this isn't going to work.

He is a cocklodger extraordinaire and he'll mess up your life right and proper if you let him.

Out he goes. Move in a lodger (but be selective and double check references!). Be independent and happy.

Relativelywell · 22/12/2023 02:35

That’s not a present, you’ve bought yourself a watch basically. Tell him it’s either a present or it’s the rent money, if it’s the rent money it can be returned. Then give him notice to leave.

ChristmasSugarplumFairy · 22/12/2023 02:37

He's a nuclear grade arsehole.
He's cheap, irresponsible, he's a liar, he's got an ego on him even though he's got nothing to brag about, he's manipulative and he's costing you £700 pcm as a starting point in lost rental income, before the rest of his costs are added up...
I'd be returning this one as faulty goods, the watch is the least of your troubles.

Original poster
Jen133 · 22/12/2023 02:41

Thank you all for your replies - this is my first ever post in a moment of self doubt so I really appreciate it.

You are all of course absolutely right. I’d also never heard the word cocklodger until today - so that has cheered me up immensely haha.

Luckily I only agreed to this on a 3 month trial so I’ll get my money back for this month and move on post Christmas.

Another one bites the dust!

OP posts:
Bournetilly · 22/12/2023 02:46

Yeah get rid of him, he is only going to cause problems. You aren’t even asking for much, £400 for bills and food is so little. If he can’t pay this what will he be like in the future.

A lodger will bring more money anyway.

HoppingPavlova · 22/12/2023 02:52

Shift the cocklodger quick smart.

MariaLuna · 22/12/2023 02:58

Why have you even let him move in?

He's a user and will financially ruin you.

Who gives a fuck about a watch when he won't even pay the rent.

You've got yourself a cocklodger there.

3-month trial? Yet I rushed out and got him some clothes and took him out for a meal before realising this. WHY??!

He hasn't even paid a month's rent!

Who the hell needs a watch nowadays with mobiles telling the time and setting alarms.

He's not a keeper. Dump him and get that lodger for 1000 a month bet the man with the golden cock to quote mumsnet - won't be paying any electricity or heating bills either

An adult man who cannot pay his own way in life and lives off a girlfriend...
he says I’m being ungrateful and ruining his nice gesture.

Fuck him off. Your future self will thank you.

He's a user.

Maybe get some male friends around when you tell him it's over. And change the locks if you gave him a key.

oneleggedspider · 22/12/2023 03:05

This thread just reminded me of an old superstition my granny used to swear by. Apparently you shouldn't buy watches for partners- its like 'calling time' on the relationship. So he's done it to himself. Hope you can find a more reliable lodger!

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 22/12/2023 03:17

Get him out.

StripeyDeckchair · 22/12/2023 03:22

Fancycheese · 22/12/2023 02:16

You need to get rid of the boyfriend and get a lodger who pays the rent.

This
Hes always going to be unreliable

ChateauDuMont · 22/12/2023 03:27

He's taking the piss.

Boot him out asap.

DPotter · 22/12/2023 03:30

He is beyond taking the piss. Kick him out before Christmas. Why would you want such a prize hanging around eating your food and drinking your drink over Christmas

have you given him his gifts yet - if not unwrap them and take them back.

Imonanotherdiet · 22/12/2023 03:42

Sell the watch

CostedStrikeRate · 22/12/2023 03:44

He would make your life far worse... he already has.

Boiledbeetle · 22/12/2023 03:59

The best Christmas present you can give yourself this year is to get this man out of your house, preferably before Christmas!

He took the piss on the first month

This month he shat on you from a great height

I wouldn't be letting him get to the third month as this relationship is only going one way.

And get the receipt for the watch off him before you send him packing.

PivotPivotmakingmargaritas · 22/12/2023 04:04

Relativelywell · 22/12/2023 02:35

That’s not a present, you’ve bought yourself a watch basically. Tell him it’s either a present or it’s the rent money, if it’s the rent money it can be returned. Then give him notice to leave.

That’s so true - next time he says you are ungrateful point this out that actually you are out of pocket a lot of money.

Why isn’t he paying what a lodger would have paid you? I bet he was paying a lot more than 400 where he lived before moving in with you?

This is not a man you want a family or children with so better to split now tbh