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Original poster

BF bought me a Xmas present instead of paying this month’s rent

303 replies

Jen133 · 22/12/2023 02:09

Hi all, thanks for listening

i have recently bought a flat with the intention of renting out my spare room to cover the costs. My boyfriend suggested instead, he moved in and paid £400 towards bills and food each month (the rental income would have been around £1100 had I got a lodger).

He gave me £300 last month, £100 short, but I let it slide.

He just presented me with a £400 watch for Christmas, which would be very generous, but it turns out that this gift is instead of his monthly payment.

Because he bought me such an expensive present, I rushed out and got him some clothes and took him out for a meal before realising this.

I’d like him to return the watch so that I can have the cash instead but he says I’m being ungrateful and ruining his nice gesture.

Ugh!

TLDR - boyfriend gave me a Xmas present instead of paying towards our bills and food this month. I want to take the present back and have the cash as I already sunk money into buying him something in return.

OP posts:
YireosDodeAver · 22/12/2023 06:13

Yes return the watch, get rid of the cocklodger boyfriend and revert to your original plan to rent out the room to someone who actually pays rent and doesn't think that their very presence is so delightful that money is irrelevant.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 22/12/2023 06:13

It's just as likely a fifty quid from a bloke down the pub knock-off/stolen goods in any case.

Then he'll knock you for the rent in January because he's 'spent all my money on getting you a lovely present'.

Bin him now and you're saving £400 on extra presents that he never spent on you in the first place, £600 on the rent you're subsidising him this month, £1100 on January (and food/bills) and you won't be permanently dealing with him trying to find new ways of wriggling out of his financial obligations.

Blarn · 22/12/2023 06:14

In the words of TLC:
'wanna get with me with no money
Oh no I don't want no scrub'

He's seen what he thinks is a way to an easy, cheap life. I suspect he will also assume you do most of the cooking and cleaning, as well as working? Glad you've realised quickly op. Find a lodger and enjoy your lovely new house.

Willmafrockfit · 22/12/2023 06:16

he is an idiot

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 22/12/2023 06:17

Give him notice on the flat and sell the watch.

HomeTheatreSystem · 22/12/2023 06:20

I'd throw him out instantly. His immediate homelessness would be entirely self-inflicted and no less than he deserves. He knows exactly what he's doing here and no, that watch didn't cost him £400.

pictoosh · 22/12/2023 06:28

Did he fuck spend £400 on that watch. He's a shirker and a liar and he's taking advantage of you. He thinks he's sharp while you dumbly accept his pish.
I'd be so insulted by this. I'd roast him alive.

Hallmark1234 · 22/12/2023 06:41

It didn't take him long to knock you down on the agreed amount did it?

He has no shame, so I don't think you'll ever see any rent again, as he'll always have some excuse or other.

Get rid of the bloody leech!

BusyMum47 · 22/12/2023 06:44

Fancycheese · 22/12/2023 02:16

You need to get rid of the boyfriend and get a lodger who pays the rent.

In a nutshell...this!⬆️

He's a dick. Throw him back. This will only get worse.

tara66 · 22/12/2023 06:46

Who would do that? Apart from anything - he sounds like a complete idiot with low IQ - which is not attractive!

Birdcar · 22/12/2023 06:52

Cocklodger. He has shown you who he is. Believe him.

You can either break up now or you can blink and find 10 years have passed and nothing has changed. You'll be worn out from supporting him and your kids while he lives a charmed life all the while telling you that you're the unreasonable one. Get out now.

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 22/12/2023 06:54

Please don't give him notice till the 31st December as suggested above. He is a lodger and has no right to stay. Added into the fact that he didn't even pay the agreed amount last month and has not paid anything this month. Why you'd want in in your home over Christmas I have no idea.

Off he goes today. If you think he'll protest and get nasty, have you got a friend/brother/cousin who can come over while he packs and leaves?

furryfrontbottom · 22/12/2023 06:56

The moral: always get the money in advance, not in arrears.

seafronty · 22/12/2023 06:56

Hi. He's an idiot. Tell him to return the watch, pay the rent, then buy you a gift. If not. Take back the clothes, return, and remove him from the house.

WickDittington · 22/12/2023 07:00

Cocklodger. He’s basically assuming that him deigning to have sex with you equates to £700 per month.

HolyZarquonsSingingSeals · 22/12/2023 07:02

Gifts are voluntary. Rent is obligatory. Anyone who does not grasp the difference is not going to be a suitable lodger.

HAF1119 · 22/12/2023 07:03

If he took your money from off the side in your house, and bought you a watch with it, that would be theft. This is no different. He stole money that is rightfully yours to buy your present. I wouldn't even wait I would just get him out now. Morals are terrible

RantyAnty · 22/12/2023 07:04

Return whatever you bought for him and kick this cheeky cocklodger out

HolyZarquonsSingingSeals · 22/12/2023 07:04

WickDittington · 22/12/2023 07:00

Cocklodger. He’s basically assuming that him deigning to have sex with you equates to £700 per month.

A good point. It's probably the easiest money he's ever earned.

banjocat · 22/12/2023 07:04

Haha! - Dump him.

GreatGateauxsby · 22/12/2023 07:13

Fancycheese · 22/12/2023 02:16

You need to get rid of the boyfriend and get a lodger who pays the rent.

💯 this.

firstly you sound like you have your head screwed on and are doing alright for yourself. Dont fuck it up

you know this man is DEEPLY unlikely to ever be a good and reliable husband/father.
He is showing you what a child he is daily I’m sure…

you may as well shore up your financial position now and get a proper lodger in instead of subbing him for 3 years plus and THEN breaking up. You are financially worse off by THOUSANDS (mostly/all? Tax free per year).
don't do it!!!!

for context…
i had the set up when I met up my DH and when he moved in we argued about rent… BUT going rate was £750/£800 and to cover half mortgage and bills was £500.
i wanted to charge £300 (all bills) he wanted to pay at least £750.
we argued/compromised and landed on £600 or £650 I can’t remember but we agreed if we broke up I would be able return the “excess” up to £1.5max to help finance a deposit

THIS is someone with integrity you can build a life with.

oh and at the time he was making less than half what I earned!!!!

Pipsquiggle · 22/12/2023 07:13

He's shown you who he is.

A cocklodging twat who is irresponsible with money.

Please get rid of him ASAP.

Neodymium · 22/12/2023 07:14

He doesn’t see that 400 as him paying his pay. He thinks every month he’s just giving you 400 as a ‘gift’.

id get rid of him

Malificent1 · 22/12/2023 07:30

I’d bet my house that he didn’t pay £400 for the watch. There’ll be some sort of scam involved.

Congrats on your flat, get rid of the leech, return the clothes you bought him.

Twazique · 22/12/2023 07:31

I bet he can't find the receipt...

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