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Original poster

BF bought me a Xmas present instead of paying this month’s rent

303 replies

Jen133 · 22/12/2023 02:09

Hi all, thanks for listening

i have recently bought a flat with the intention of renting out my spare room to cover the costs. My boyfriend suggested instead, he moved in and paid £400 towards bills and food each month (the rental income would have been around £1100 had I got a lodger).

He gave me £300 last month, £100 short, but I let it slide.

He just presented me with a £400 watch for Christmas, which would be very generous, but it turns out that this gift is instead of his monthly payment.

Because he bought me such an expensive present, I rushed out and got him some clothes and took him out for a meal before realising this.

I’d like him to return the watch so that I can have the cash instead but he says I’m being ungrateful and ruining his nice gesture.

Ugh!

TLDR - boyfriend gave me a Xmas present instead of paying towards our bills and food this month. I want to take the present back and have the cash as I already sunk money into buying him something in return.

OP posts:
Thehop · 22/12/2023 08:17

You bought the watch with your rent money

your boyfriend is costing you £700 a month.

get a lodger

Yalta · 22/12/2023 08:18

So the watch was instead of the rent. So he better have a really good Christmas present as well.

This arrangement isn’t working.

Can you imagine presenting the watch and a few quid to the mortgage company as your monthly payment.

If he won’t take it back then pawn it and kick him out.

SuspiciousSue · 22/12/2023 08:22

You need a proper lodger and he’s taking the piss. Side note, you can only charge £625 a month tax free to a lodger.

EnglishPearFreesia · 22/12/2023 08:23

Joker. Now you have a watch, tell him, thanks, I know what time it is, and it's time for you to stop taking the P. Get rid of him and get the lodger who will pay you properly.

readymealeater · 22/12/2023 08:25

EnglishPearFreesia · 22/12/2023 08:23

Joker. Now you have a watch, tell him, thanks, I know what time it is, and it's time for you to stop taking the P. Get rid of him and get the lodger who will pay you properly.

Love it! 😂

peacocksuite · 22/12/2023 08:25

Urgh how dreadful. You can do so much better OP. I'd ditch him now tbh, why waste a Christmas with this cocklodger.

Yalta · 22/12/2023 08:26

I wouldn’t wait for the 3 month trial to be up unless you have put it in writing.

i would just say it isn’t working and he needs to move out now. Why prolong the agony

He can’t afford this arrangement and hasn’t got his priorities straight.

Why do you know what your Christmas present is when it isn’t 25th December yet

Rainbowshit · 22/12/2023 08:26

£400 for rent,bills and food?! That's insanely low. Why are you subsidising this cocklodger?!?!

MistletoeandJd · 22/12/2023 08:27

He sounds very very immature and not stable, possibly self obsessed if he can only see how his gesture is effected...

Nicole1111 · 22/12/2023 08:28

So you should be grateful that he’s put you in financial difficulty because he bought you a watch? What a joker. Please use this watch to tell him it’s time to move out.

HarrietStyles · 22/12/2023 08:31

This man is a pure con artist. He was onto such a good deal (£400 instead of the going rate of £1100) and even though he was already taking the absolute piss…….. he couldn’t help himself trying to scam you even further. This man is a TAKER, he is selfish, childish, manipulative. None of those things make a good partner. Throw him in the bin today.

Caroparo52 · 22/12/2023 08:33

Congratulations getting your flat and you have a great business plan to make rental income from renting out a room for £1100 per month. Your soon to be ex Cockfosters dp boyfriend was cheeky and unrealistic to assume that his £400 /month would be acceptable in the first place and then to fob you off with an unwanted watch instead of rent is not acceptable.
Time to reset for the New Year.
Out he goes.
In comes a proper full rent paying lodger.
And no he doesn't get to stay over for free most of the week.
He gets thrown back.
He obviously is a a piss taker and a user. No good to you.
Happy Christmas

CaptainMyCaptain · 22/12/2023 08:34

Fancycheese · 22/12/2023 02:16

You need to get rid of the boyfriend and get a lodger who pays the rent.

This. And find a boyfriend who makes your life easier instead of more difficult with no grand gestures that you end up paying for.

Smarshian · 22/12/2023 08:34

Keep the watch - ditch the BF

jannier · 22/12/2023 08:38

Why is his contribution so low? Why are you letting it slide?
Most kids living with parents would pay this amount he's an adult living with a partner....and then not even paying the pittance asked.
Kick him out

Daffodilsandtuplips · 22/12/2023 08:41

Echoing everyone else, he’s a cocklodger of epic proportions. You’ve effectively bought your own gift with interest added from the shortfall of last months rent.

He’s taking you for a ride …£400.00 a month is less than £100.00 per week if you work it out. 400 x 12 = 4.800, divide 4.800 by 52 = 92.30. He should be paying twice that amount. At the very least.
Having another person increases your household bills you’ll be using more water, heating, lighting, laundry costs, wear and tear.
Take the watch back for a refund and give him a months notice.

StrawberryWater · 22/12/2023 08:42

Cocklodger / hobosexual

Whatever, he’s a waster. Kick him out.

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 22/12/2023 08:44

Just reread your second post. This was a 3 month trial so he's on his best behaviour? Oh Dear, so glad you've seen the light before the arrangement is made permanent and his behaviour starts to slide.

Wishimaywishimight · 22/12/2023 08:45

Why on earth did you go along with this daft plan which leaves you at a financial loss? Tell him you need him to move out in the new year as you have to rent the room at full price.

skibiditoilet · 22/12/2023 08:49

Swap the Cocklodger for a lodger. Job done.

Grimpo · 22/12/2023 08:50

How on earth is it a nice gesture to say in effect "Here's a watch that you've paid for"? What an utter idiot. Still, at least you've found out relatively quickly.

Seeingadistance · 22/12/2023 08:50

Fancycheese · 22/12/2023 02:16

You need to get rid of the boyfriend and get a lodger who pays the rent.

Exactly this.

Grimpo · 22/12/2023 08:51

HarrietStyles · 22/12/2023 08:31

This man is a pure con artist. He was onto such a good deal (£400 instead of the going rate of £1100) and even though he was already taking the absolute piss…….. he couldn’t help himself trying to scam you even further. This man is a TAKER, he is selfish, childish, manipulative. None of those things make a good partner. Throw him in the bin today.

I'm not sure that he's a con artist. A true con artist would have had the sense to make sure that he paid the full rent over the trial period, so as to get his feet firmly under the table. This one is a conman, but he's too stupid to do it properly.

MongoFrogman · 22/12/2023 08:54

I can’t think of anywhere where a lodger would pay £1100 a month - and I live in London! Unless you’re talking about a huge ensuite room in Chelsea or Notting Hill.

Remember that lodgers pay less than tenants because the loss of freedom and increased scrutiny that comes from having to live with their landlord.

So very likely you’re overestimating the market rental value of this room.

Boyfriend still sounds like an arse, though!

femfemlicious · 22/12/2023 08:56

Are you actually serious about this? Do you have zero back bone. He is paying £400 for food and bills?
He is going to ruin you financially. You better get rid of him now or suffer the consequences in the future. Your choice!