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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

BF bought me a Xmas present instead of paying this month’s rent

303 replies

Jen133 · 22/12/2023 02:09

Hi all, thanks for listening

i have recently bought a flat with the intention of renting out my spare room to cover the costs. My boyfriend suggested instead, he moved in and paid £400 towards bills and food each month (the rental income would have been around £1100 had I got a lodger).

He gave me £300 last month, £100 short, but I let it slide.

He just presented me with a £400 watch for Christmas, which would be very generous, but it turns out that this gift is instead of his monthly payment.

Because he bought me such an expensive present, I rushed out and got him some clothes and took him out for a meal before realising this.

I’d like him to return the watch so that I can have the cash instead but he says I’m being ungrateful and ruining his nice gesture.

Ugh!

TLDR - boyfriend gave me a Xmas present instead of paying towards our bills and food this month. I want to take the present back and have the cash as I already sunk money into buying him something in return.

OP posts:
Lwrenagain · 22/12/2023 09:00

Lampan · 22/12/2023 04:40

@Lwrenagain cross post!

I've never had a cross post before, I feel we should send each other flowers or something! 😂

GreenLight23 · 22/12/2023 09:03

Did you actually want an expensive watch for Christmas? Don’t people just use their phones to tell the time these days?

PartyQ · 22/12/2023 09:03

Who the fuck are the 2% who think YABU?!

Quitelikeit · 22/12/2023 09:03

How did he afford his previous accommodation? What does he do with his spare cash?

Whenthebirdssing · 22/12/2023 09:04

Relativelywell · 22/12/2023 02:35

That’s not a present, you’ve bought yourself a watch basically. Tell him it’s either a present or it’s the rent money, if it’s the rent money it can be returned. Then give him notice to leave.

This. You’ve essentially bought yourself a watch and him a load of clothes and you’ve had nothing. That £400 is your money.

converseandjeans · 22/12/2023 09:07

It seems convenient that the watch was the same amount as the rent. I wonder if he actually paid that?

Where was he living before? £400 seems like a good deal for rent, bills & food.

He's trying to stop you getting a lodger. It's of no benefit to you that he has moved in.

Viviennemary · 22/12/2023 09:11

Chuck him out.

RocketDog101 · 22/12/2023 09:12

Urgh, a man who can't contribute sense (to which he has none, other than the idea to become a leach!) or finances (imagine making a financial commitment then turning that over for manipulation)...fairwell incompetent fellow wretch

You appear to have seen his ways before dully committing to a life with this cocklodger - good luck in your life without him 😀

AmandaHoldensLips · 22/12/2023 09:13

Return ALL the gifts you got for him and get a refund. Tell him there's no food or gifts this month seeing as you've been left high and dry by him not paying his paltry rent.

Lindy2 · 22/12/2023 09:13

Take the watch back and get a refund.

Ditch the waste of space cocklodger and get a decent boyfriend instead.

Milkybarsareonmeeeee · 22/12/2023 09:15

Fancycheese · 22/12/2023 02:16

You need to get rid of the boyfriend and get a lodger who pays the rent.

Yes ASAP like today

Newestname002 · 22/12/2023 09:17

@Jen133

Luckily I only agreed to this on a 3 month trial so I’ll get my money back for this month and move on post Christmas.

How are you going to get him out OP? You know he's going to do whatever he can to stay in his lovely cozy digs where he's well looked after rather than grow up and accept proper responsibility for himself. 🌹

NewFriendlyLadybird · 22/12/2023 09:22

He’s a literal cocklodger! Throw him out and get a proper lodger.

MrsRachelDanvers · 22/12/2023 09:24

I agree-tell him your lifestyle is unaffordable so you’ll be getting a lodger. And also tell him you don’t respect people who do t honour commitments so he can be as snarky as he likes, it’s given you the ick.
Off topic but am amazed you can charge £1100 for a spare room-where do you live!!

Haydenn · 22/12/2023 09:27

He’s an absolute chancer. I’d be binning him if completely. Not even 2 months in and dicking you about on rent. It is a bleak vision of the future

Tyl5039 · 22/12/2023 09:28

I'd be looking up the watch online. I don't believe he spent anywhere near £400 for it.

Nanny0gg · 22/12/2023 09:30

So he's used your money to buy you an expensive present?

Do you think he's a keeper?

And take back what you bought him

Starlightstarbright2 · 22/12/2023 09:32

I not only would return the watch return the clothes .
As others said easy to be generous with your money

DoubleTime · 22/12/2023 09:33

How mean of him. Glad you are re-assessing the arrangements.

YouStupidGirl · 22/12/2023 09:45

The watch wasn’t a “gift” - he’d just rather make a grand gesture (and then beat you over the head with it) than spend his money on something boring like rent.

Massive red flag - he is bad with money and manipulative to boot. Did he honestly think you’d be thrilled?

A total bellend - dump!

LightDrizzle · 22/12/2023 09:46

I’d bet £50 the watch didn’t cost him £400.

He’s a total user and you just know he’ll be moaning to his family, friends, and and future girlfriends that he got dumped on Christmas just after spending all his money on a watch for his girlfriend (it will probably have cost him £500 by the third telling).

It’s amazing the scum floating around the singles pool whose main problem is treating women like a “princess” in this and other ways.

Nevermind31 · 22/12/2023 09:47

It’s not a present it a grant gesture if you essentially paid for it yourself.

Fraaahnces · 22/12/2023 09:56

Wow… you’re ungrateful??? How dare he??? Given how much he’s saving in rent he should have bucketloads to spare on presents for you.
His “generosity” is literally at your own expense. Twat.

Fraaahnces · 22/12/2023 09:56

Wow… you’re ungrateful??? How dare he??? Given how much he’s saving in rent he should have bucketloads to spare on presents for you.
His “generosity” is literally at your own expense. Twat.

mumsytoon · 22/12/2023 09:57

More fool you - you accepted 400 when you could earn 1100. That silly decision is all you. Hopefully lesson learnt