BF bought me a Xmas present instead of paying this month’s rent

[Jen133]

Hi all, thanks for listening

i have recently bought a flat with the intention of renting out my spare room to cover the costs. My boyfriend suggested instead, he moved in and paid £400 towards bills and food each month (the rental income would have been around £1100 had I got a lodger).

He gave me £300 last month, £100 short, but I let it slide.

He just presented me with a £400 watch for Christmas, which would be very generous, but it turns out that this gift is instead of his monthly payment.

Because he bought me such an expensive present, I rushed out and got him some clothes and took him out for a meal before realising this.

I’d like him to return the watch so that I can have the cash instead but he says I’m being ungrateful and ruining his nice gesture.

Ugh!

TLDR - boyfriend gave me a Xmas present instead of paying towards our bills and food this month. I want to take the present back and have the cash as I already sunk money into buying him something in return.

he should be paying the rent and buying you a little Christmas present even if it’s not expensive he sounds like a right dick get rid 🤦‍♀️

👏🏻👏🏻

This

You've got the wrong boyfriend.

You are being too reasonable and I'm sorry to say this but he is using you. Get a lodger. And he stays and pays share of bills or. Moves. See what his reaction is when you tell him this is the plan.

Just ensure you stick with your decision. My friend who let the boyfriend stay did have some good times with him but she felt she was in his show a lot of the time, he was very much a drama queen. The boyfriend after was much nicer, ultimately didn’t last but far more mature and got her a kitten (I think for her birthday or before), the cat has been in her life ever since and is much better than a boyfriend!

Love the “No Scrubs” references, see also “Aint nothing going on but the rent”When I was v young living with my first partner as unmarrieds a lease contract had to be in one name (his) each month I transferred my share to him, but at some point he wasn’t paying rent and bills unbeknownst to me he also wrote bad cheques in local shops & “borrowed” my bank card leaving me red faced and hungry when card refused grocery shopping.
The only gift here is showing what a flop he is from the beginning of living together making it hopefully easier to extract yourself and remove him. Living together is meant to be a partnership.

Call me cynical but I one wonder if one the reasons he doesn’t want to return it is because he didn’t pay £400 for it.

Yep!

He's getting a free ride....

I'm happy for you. You seem to have a wise head on your shoulders!

Make him take it back he is a TWAT

🚩 HUGE

get that sorted speedily, if he short changed you last month my guess the watch he had bought you didn’t actually cost £400 - which is why he doesn’t want you to return it……

what’s next months plan ? Groats, sheckles and a couple of rabbits ?

Not half as cynical as me....🤣

Did he even buy the watch to begin with? With an arsehole like that, I wouldn't be surprised if it was hot!

Many years ago my sister married a psychopath. One of the things he did was take her student loan, that was meant to pay her and her baby's expenses for three months, and buy her a gold watch with her name inscribed on it.

I'm sorry OP.

We both live in London but I always spend Xmas with my mum and brother who live back home in Birmingham where I’m from. In other relationships I’d usually see their family and spend Boxing Day / Xmas night with them but I really have no desire to with this one!

Have a lovely Christmas!

No no no no no. Get rid asap. Gaslighting cocklodger.

Ask him for the receipt for the watch.

Run!

You are learning a very important lesson. NEVER LET A ROOM OR PROPERTY TO SOMEONE YOU KNOW. it always ends in tears. It will get a whole lot worse. You will spend all your leisure time searching for solutions to their silly - dallying; eventually likely will end up despising this person for skewing UP your finances but will be at a loss how to remedy since they're your ' friend'.
My advice : invent a reason to get rid. This person feels emancipated and also HAVE A FOOT UNDER YOUR TABLE. This will take A LOT TO REMEDY. BEEN THERE. and for me DID NOT end well. Fights and wars ensued and I ended up homeless.

B. T. W. as a ' Lodger ' has no recompense to property rights whatsoever. Just change the F *""""" locks while he's out. Total P $$ taker.
Yes I've met a few. ALSO.
If he decides to get Police on to you etc. DO NOT OPEN THE DOOR UNDER ANY CICUMUMSTANCES!!!!!! Even if they yell " POLICE!".

ask me , I know.

I'm surprised you got a mortgage if you are relying on an external income to pay the rent to be honest. Your partner is a freeloader and I think you are a bit daft for buying way above your means, I'm bless of course you are expecting someone to cover the entire cost of your property just for the privilege of one room

Dump him asap. He owes you £500 or £100 and a Christmas present. What a waste of space

I would Add: This dude has shown you what he's made of.
If you let him stay, a few years down the line he WILL HAVE PROPERTY RIGHTS as your ' partner' AND he sounds ' The TYPE' to dig his heels in and cause mayhem - there ARE PEOPLE like this. So act now or forever reap rewards.