Page 5 | Farting on trains

Mermaidsgalore · 2023-12-21T17:02:12+00:00

It seems to happen quite frequently these days, and 99% of the time it's men. It's disgusting, I know sometimes it's not deliberate but leaving a stench like that for other people is vile, and you can't always open windows on trains, like the Avanti one I'm currently on. If it's not that, it's people chewing their nails and then wiping it on whatever they find, picking their nose, generally disgusting habits to do on a packed train. Again the vast majority are men.

ChihuahuaMummy · 22/12/2023 14:36

@StarlightLime I don't do it in public as much as I can help it, only in my own home.

Castlerock44 · 22/12/2023 14:44

TheCadoganArms · 21/12/2023 17:06

<Yawn>

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There's plenty of women who act disgusting too. Wrong to say it's only men.

missmollygreen · 22/12/2023 14:53

sprigatito · 21/12/2023 17:04

Of course it's largely men, all antisocial behaviour is. They feel entitled to behave like that.

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Whatever helps you sleep at night

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 22/12/2023 15:02

I used to think like a lot of people on here. I could hold my farts in; very occasionally I would get trapped wind which was so painful that I feared it was a heart attack, but otherwise I'd just hold the fart until it was convenient to let it go.

Then, you know what? I got old. Muscles don't clench as well as they used to. Holding farts in gives me such bad stomach ache that it feels like the aforementioned heart attack. I can fart just lifting something heavy, no willpower involved at all.

You fart-holders may find that your day will come. You're just getting out of a chair and - there it is.

SleepingStandingUp · 22/12/2023 15:12

Minglingpringle · 21/12/2023 17:08

If you’re in public, you hold your fart in till you get somewhere away from other people.

Simple.

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You're a better woman than me of you can hd you fart in for 3 hours on a packed train with a broken loo

MolkosTeenageAngst · 22/12/2023 15:14

Haha. Glad I’ve managed to make a few people laugh. I’m generally in the ‘farts are funny’ camp but have to be honest, on that occasion I couldn’t find any humour and it really did leave me feeling quite sick as the fart was neither silent nor odourless and his arse was literally inches from my face. Maybe it was an accident (I didn’t realise some people genuinely can’t hold a fart even for just a few seconds), at the time my gut feeling was that he must have done it on purpose and he was either a fetishist or he liked to deliberately make women uncomfortable, I was quite taken aback and felt almost like I’d been deliberately assaulted and it still leaves me feeling a bit queasy and angry remembering it now. I probably would find it funny if it happened on a sitcom though or I read about it happening to someone else though so glad at least some others have got a giggle from it! 😂

Northsideoftheriver · 22/12/2023 15:20

I only fart if unwell or a food hasn't agreed with me. Pickled onions, beef are the two main offenders which I stay away from to protect humanity. I've walked into farts and that wasn't funny at all. It made my eyes water.

I get the use of impulse spray to take the edge off but what you essentially have then is pineapple or coconut fart or victorias secret scent with undertones of fart. It never quite works, it's an improvement yes but doesn't really cure things. Poor lady who tasted fart upthread and had a face aimed fart by the person walking past.

GEC44 · 22/12/2023 15:27

I remember hearing a really loud wet fart in the stairwell at work, from a bloke in accounts who must have thought he was there alone. Clearly not, but it really made me laugh.

CaroleSinger · 22/12/2023 15:29

GEC44 · 22/12/2023 15:27

I remember hearing a really loud wet fart in the stairwell at work, from a bloke in accounts who must have thought he was there alone. Clearly not, but it really made me laugh.

Yeah, sorry about that....

Celebrationsnakes · 22/12/2023 15:51

Northsideoftheriver · 22/12/2023 15:20

I only fart if unwell or a food hasn't agreed with me. Pickled onions, beef are the two main offenders which I stay away from to protect humanity. I've walked into farts and that wasn't funny at all. It made my eyes water.

I get the use of impulse spray to take the edge off but what you essentially have then is pineapple or coconut fart or victorias secret scent with undertones of fart. It never quite works, it's an improvement yes but doesn't really cure things. Poor lady who tasted fart upthread and had a face aimed fart by the person walking past.

Me too. I never need to. Impulse is worse in my opinion. A load of smelly chemicals over the top makes it a million times worse.

Wellhellooooodear · 22/12/2023 15:55

enchantedsquirrelwood · 21/12/2023 17:11

How?

It's a nonsense to say you can hold it in. Along with being able to control when period blood comes out.

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Unless you have a medical condition of course you can hold in a fart in the same way you wouldn't piss yourself if you needed a wee. Periods are not comparable.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 22/12/2023 16:04

Wellhellooooodear · 22/12/2023 15:55

Unless you have a medical condition of course you can hold in a fart in the same way you wouldn't piss yourself if you needed a wee. Periods are not comparable.

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It is of course possible that human beings vary and some are better at holding in farts than others just as some fart more, some belch more, some have stronger pelvic floors, etc.

enchantedsquirrelwood · 22/12/2023 16:06

Wellhellooooodear · 22/12/2023 15:55

Unless you have a medical condition of course you can hold in a fart in the same way you wouldn't piss yourself if you needed a wee. Periods are not comparable.

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I don't have a medical condition. But I can't hold in farts.

Just because you can, doesn't mean everyone can.

Hope that helps.

Wellhellooooodear · 22/12/2023 16:10

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 22/12/2023 16:04

It is of course possible that human beings vary and some are better at holding in farts than others just as some fart more, some belch more, some have stronger pelvic floors, etc.

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Or some just don't care about bring gross in public. You're right, everyone's different.

Wellhellooooodear · 22/12/2023 16:11

enchantedsquirrelwood · 22/12/2023 16:06

I don't have a medical condition. But I can't hold in farts.

Just because you can, doesn't mean everyone can.

Hope that helps.

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So if you were at a job interview, for example, and needed to fart you'd just let rip would you?

Celebrationsnakes · 22/12/2023 16:17

Wellhellooooodear · 22/12/2023 16:11

So if you were at a job interview, for example, and needed to fart you'd just let rip would you?

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I actually just laughed out loud at this!

TheCadoganArms · 22/12/2023 16:24

GEC44 · 22/12/2023 15:27

I remember hearing a really loud wet fart in the stairwell at work, from a bloke in accounts who must have thought he was there alone. Clearly not, but it really made me laugh.

Unless you are the Professor of Fartology at the University of Windy Trousers how can you tell a wet fart from a dry one?

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 22/12/2023 16:30

Wellhellooooodear · 22/12/2023 16:10

Or some just don't care about bring gross in public. You're right, everyone's different.

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Oh I’m sure some don’t. But just because you are fabulous at holding farts in doesn’t mean everyone is as wonderful as you.

SleepingStandingUp · 22/12/2023 16:36

Wellhellooooodear · 22/12/2023 15:55

Unless you have a medical condition of course you can hold in a fart in the same way you wouldn't piss yourself if you needed a wee. Periods are not comparable.

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There's a time limit for that tho. Otherwise I'd just go to the loo once a day and do all my ablutions in one. The bladder has a capacity. Once that's reached / stretched it's going to come out. Same for the intestine. Sometimes I can keep them in and they kinda dissipate and sometimes I move and one comes out unexpectedly.

How do you control when your period blood comes out?? Does that mean you don't use sanpro, you just go to the loo and do controlled bleeding?

TheThingIsYeah · 22/12/2023 16:38

@Firefly2009

I'd recommend wearing a good face mask

Nah they don't work. I remember being on a train during COVID and did an absolute crop duster that even I was surprised with. About 2 mins later a bloke 12 feet away who was the only other person in the carriage - and wearing a mask - got up with a loud sigh and theatrically opened the window with a bang.

Farts are like children. You don't mind your own, it's other people's you can't stand.

Topseyt123 · 22/12/2023 16:40

Wellhellooooodear · 22/12/2023 16:11

So if you were at a job interview, for example, and needed to fart you'd just let rip would you?

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Yes. What would be the problem with that? 🤔🤣

LlynTegid · 22/12/2023 16:40

A small number of people cannot hold it in, but the vast majority could wait until they could get to a toilet.

DustyLee123 · 22/12/2023 16:41

I once had a family get out of the lift giggling. I found out why when I got in, disgusting.

Notsurehwhattdo · 22/12/2023 16:51

This thread makes me want to fart... unfortunately nothing is brewing :(

ChihuahuaMummy · 22/12/2023 17:04

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 22/12/2023 15:02

I used to think like a lot of people on here. I could hold my farts in; very occasionally I would get trapped wind which was so painful that I feared it was a heart attack, but otherwise I'd just hold the fart until it was convenient to let it go.

Then, you know what? I got old. Muscles don't clench as well as they used to. Holding farts in gives me such bad stomach ache that it feels like the aforementioned heart attack. I can fart just lifting something heavy, no willpower involved at all.

You fart-holders may find that your day will come. You're just getting out of a chair and - there it is.

😂 or in my mums case, you sneeze while in a supermarket aisle and fart at the same time!