Farting on trains

[Mermaidsgalore]

It seems to happen quite frequently these days, and 99% of the time it's men. It's disgusting, I know sometimes it's not deliberate but leaving a stench like that for other people is vile, and you can't always open windows on trains, like the Avanti one I'm currently on.
If it's not that, it's people chewing their nails and then wiping it on whatever they find, picking their nose, generally disgusting habits to do on a packed train. Again the vast majority are men.

I have to, being g the prolific farter that I am, or I'd have no friends!

Probably. However, "letting rip" isn't necessary. It can be done quietly.

Actually I suspect there are people with IBS or other health conditions who might need to take a break during a job interview.

😂😂😂

Sorry Lord Sugar, may I be excused, I need to fart. YOU'RE FIRED! To be fair I did say that most people can hold in farts if they don't have health conditions, so I'm not sure why you've taken offence.

If you can't tell a wet trump from a dry one, you need grommets fitting! Two entirely different sounds....wet = like an inflated balloon being let go. Dry = oh, I don't know, but it's not like a balloon being released 😂😂

I'm amazed you can still smell the farts over the chemical toilet stink on Avanti, they're called vomit rockets for a reason.... puffing chemical toilet fumes into the ventilation system while tilting at over 100mph will set a lot of stomachs off.

They should go to the toilets to do it.

Our local trains have no toilets at all, there's no way anyone can hold one in for 1.5 hours! I know mumsnetters are known for being anally retentive but this is ridiculous.

Worst place is on an airplane where it gets wafted through the air con....

@LardyCakeAgain no trains that run on a 1.5hr route should have no toilets. That is unacceptable and people should boycott them. For one thing it won't meet the requirements of the Equality Act.

I agree, but they can't even organise pre-booked wheelchair ramps to turn up on time, never mind retro-fit toilets to old rolling stock. Train operating companies don't give a stuff about the disabled and the government let them get away with it.

Plus how do you boycott a TOC that runs the only services on your train line?

I'm happy to fart anywhere and don't see why I should have to hold in a normal bodily function, giving myself stomach ache.

Same! I'm having a great chuckle reading this thread! Farts are HILARIOUS.

If I hear my husband fart from another room, I say "pardon?" So he replies "I SAID, faaaaart " and I crack up, Every. Single. Time 🤣

I used to have my text alert be the sound of a really bad fart, was hilarious when I got a text in Tescos etc 🤣 people turning round in horror

Doesn't just eating charcoal or wearing charcoal lined pants solve the issue?

Using that logic, you would have no objection to people pissing and shitting as the need takes them.

I usually carry a cheap impulse spray in my bag.
Works wonders.

Do you mean you spray it to mitigate the reek of other people's farts, or use it as a cork to imprison your own?

This thread is the funniest thing I've read in ages, especially the stairwell wet farter and arguments about the difference between wet and dry farts 😂

What if the Daily Fail get wind (sorry) of this thread.

"Do YOU break wind in public?"

My uncle once caused an actual brawl in a pub - full-on punch-up - between two groups of young men who each blamed somebody in the other group for releasing one of the most noxious stenches known to humankind, even though they all denied it (presumably unaware of the legally-binding playground rules) and thus were angry and felt seriously 'dissed' by such aggressive behaviour from their rival posse.

They eventually moved their stramash outside and were still in full battle as my uncle finished his pint and left, silently taking his evil windy buttocks home with him.

My favourite song about taking to task people who are accused of having farted has to be the one by Thunderclap (arf) Newman:

"Call out the instigators, because there's something in the air!"

How is releasing gas in any way comparable to soiling yourself?

You said that you "don't see why I should have to hold in a normal bodily function, giving myself stomach ache."

Pissing and shitting are normal bodily functions that relieve discomfort. If you can hold on to your piss and shit until you are somewhere where you won't inflict it on anyone else, why can you not do it with wind? Farting in a confined space with other people is disgusting and is easily avoided by holding on until you are in an open space or, better still, a toilet.

Not Linger by the Cranberries?