Page 8 | To find this a bit boastful?

Sandstorm33 · 2023-12-19T13:57:50+00:00

I have a friend with an 18 month old daughter with her husband. They often post photos of her/them all as a family on social media, and I rarely seem to see this friend anymore but I know they have bought a new build home and her husband is in quite a senior position at work. They posted a picture of their daughter yesterday and wrote a caption: "We are so blessed with our jobs to be in a position to provide you with absolutely everything you need and so much more!" I just think it's a bit showy-off, yes it's not a big deal but it's kind of boasting that they earn well, and that it's only monetary things that matter/mean you can provide.

TiredOfYourNonsense · 19/12/2023 23:24

What smug bastards

Pallisers · 19/12/2023 23:29

notlucreziaborgia · 19/12/2023 23:18

Yes, because people have to follow those on social media whose lives makes them feel bad.

And they don’t have the consider that someone else’s instagram doesn’t have to appeal to them, but they do get to demand to be pandered to: “WHY doesn’t your social media centre ME?”. Because that isn’t self absorbed at all.

If you don’t like it then don’t follow it.

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well yes. They could unfollow (or never follow in the first place like I do). just like people can walk away in real life.

That doesn't change the fact that thinking you should never consider other people in your interactions with them means you are a bit of a dick.

But I do admire your view that being affected by what people say is "self-absorbed".

Kingkum86 · 19/12/2023 23:31

Work with your family.

Crishell · 19/12/2023 23:33

Yea, bit cringe.

I do think though that jealousy can be just as unpleasant a trait as being smug can be.

I 'show off' my achievements with a hobby which being honest, not many can afford to do. I do it because I'm proud of them and I have followers who have the same interests.
I also share pics from days out/holidays because family like to see pictures of our DD.

Maybe I should stick to posting pictures of my dinner so I don't make anyone feel jealous. I don't think you can win sometimes.

Jumpingthruhoops · 19/12/2023 23:34

Brefugee · 19/12/2023 18:50

Piffle. People can (mostly) write what they want on their own SM. If OP doesn't want to see it, she has options.

But nobody needs to depend their time thinking "wow better not post x - some people have less money than me"

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This! 👏👏

BitOutOfPractice · 19/12/2023 23:39

@Pallisers i agree with you. Everyone has a duty, a moral obligation to think how their actions affect others. And if you don’t you are, indeed, a dick.

notlucreziaborgia · 19/12/2023 23:40

Pallisers · 19/12/2023 23:29

well yes. They could unfollow (or never follow in the first place like I do). just like people can walk away in real life.

That doesn't change the fact that thinking you should never consider other people in your interactions with them means you are a bit of a dick.

But I do admire your view that being affected by what people say is "self-absorbed".

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They can indeed. Instead of thinking other people should shut up and/or never post what they want to on their own social media, remove yourself from them. In real life and/or the internet.

Oh, there are those that most definitely think I’m a dick (although funnily enough, not on instagram or facebook, on account of not having either), and conversely there are others that think I’m great. I can’t please everyone and I can’t say I’ve ever tried to 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yes, it is self absorbed for someone to think their personal struggles should be front and centre in the lives of complete strangers who dare to be (publicly) happy about their own lot in life.

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 19/12/2023 23:59

They sound ridiculous. Same as people posting Birthday wishes to someone who lives in same house or are probably sat right beside them with a big load of over the top words just for show. Am not on facebook, instagram or anything as could not be arsed with all the bullshit to be honest. Keep getting harassed by family for not been on what's app but all they do is post photos of themselves and really am not into all that as I am a private person.
As someone else said if they lost their jobs which I would wish on no-body they would be fecked.
Boasting never nice and once you are a loving parent and that counts for so much more but so many judge others on whether or not they are in a really good job etc regardless of whatever else is going on in their life, alcohol abuse etc as if they are better than others, seen it with own family, usually those that post how everything is wonderful it is NOT so wonderful so overcompensating. Just ignore them and be happy in yourself and your life and everyone has issues regardless of finances.

5128gap · 20/12/2023 07:32

Amused at all the wide eyed 'They're just happy! They're not thinking about other people...!' Nonsense. If they weren't thinking of other people they wouldn't post their thoughts to other people. They'd enjoy congratulating each other in the privacy of their own home. They post FOR other people after deciding what they want other people to think about their lives. Clearly they have decided they want people to think they have been singled out (by God? The universe?) for wealth worthy of celebrating, and this gives their daughter an advantage. What this says about their character, sensitivity and values isn't great. And that's why they're being criticised.

notlucreziaborgia · 20/12/2023 08:41

5128gap · 20/12/2023 07:32

Amused at all the wide eyed 'They're just happy! They're not thinking about other people...!' Nonsense. If they weren't thinking of other people they wouldn't post their thoughts to other people. They'd enjoy congratulating each other in the privacy of their own home. They post FOR other people after deciding what they want other people to think about their lives. Clearly they have decided they want people to think they have been singled out (by God? The universe?) for wealth worthy of celebrating, and this gives their daughter an advantage. What this says about their character, sensitivity and values isn't great. And that's why they're being criticised.

Lol, okay. I have no idea whether they’re truly happy or not, on account of not knowing them. I’m not going to assume they’re not based on an innocuous post on instagram (and wishful thinking, it appears).

The logic is wild though - ‘happy people don’t post about being happy, so these people are miserable. The genuinely happy people can be found whining about these miserable people on mumsnet’. Yep, that sounds legit 🫠

5128gap · 20/12/2023 10:56

notlucreziaborgia · 20/12/2023 08:41

Lol, okay. I have no idea whether they’re truly happy or not, on account of not knowing them. I’m not going to assume they’re not based on an innocuous post on instagram (and wishful thinking, it appears).

The logic is wild though - ‘happy people don’t post about being happy, so these people are miserable. The genuinely happy people can be found whining about these miserable people on mumsnet’. Yep, that sounds legit 🫠

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I didn't say that. Like you I have no idea whether they're happy or not. I'm not questioning their happiness. Im questioning the idea they 'probably didnt think about it'.

People typically put a lot of thought into curating their SM image and the messages they want to send people. Some people are suggesting this was just a thoughtless spontaneous moment of joy. The pertinent parts being 'spontaneous and thoughtless'. I'm saying I very much doubt that it was. They were boasting. Most people feel self praise is no recommendation, so it tends to backfire.

notlucreziaborgia · 20/12/2023 11:03

5128gap · 20/12/2023 10:56

I didn't say that. Like you I have no idea whether they're happy or not. I'm not questioning their happiness. Im questioning the idea they 'probably didnt think about it'.

People typically put a lot of thought into curating their SM image and the messages they want to send people. Some people are suggesting this was just a thoughtless spontaneous moment of joy. The pertinent parts being 'spontaneous and thoughtless'. I'm saying I very much doubt that it was. They were boasting. Most people feel self praise is no recommendation, so it tends to backfire.

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Exactly, we don’t know them. Hence we have no idea whether it was curated, or spontaneous, or even which one it is more likely to be. I hope they are happy, personally. Good for them if they are. I see nothing wrong with self praise, and like I said earlier, I much prefer it to the dour Protestantism of self abnegation that for some reason is lauded as a virtue.

Either way, boasting or not, why does it matter? They’re not forcing anyone to follow them or engage.

5128gap · 20/12/2023 11:29

In our society, boasting isn't seen as a positive trait, and for good reason. Nothing to do with religious edicts, just to do with living alongside others in a harmonious way. People who boast are uplifting themselves at the expense of others, because the braggart is supposed to be viewed as superior to their audience. Its perfectly possible and healthy to celebrate ones own success and have self pride, but to need that reflected back by other people you are encouraging to envy you, not so much. As for who cares, well maybe the boasters might. It's important to them that people see them positively and affirm them, yet most people on here wouldn't on the basis of that post, so they're not getting what they want. In the scheme of things, you're right, most of us don't really 'care'. We're just having a chat about something the OP asked for our opinions on.

Nofilteritwonthelp · 20/12/2023 11:31

isthesolution · 19/12/2023 14:07

They sound v unhappy and keen to show the opposite quite honestly.

I think you're projecting, but yes OP twattish comment

notlucreziaborgia · 20/12/2023 12:04

5128gap · 20/12/2023 11:29

In our society, boasting isn't seen as a positive trait, and for good reason. Nothing to do with religious edicts, just to do with living alongside others in a harmonious way. People who boast are uplifting themselves at the expense of others, because the braggart is supposed to be viewed as superior to their audience. Its perfectly possible and healthy to celebrate ones own success and have self pride, but to need that reflected back by other people you are encouraging to envy you, not so much. As for who cares, well maybe the boasters might. It's important to them that people see them positively and affirm them, yet most people on here wouldn't on the basis of that post, so they're not getting what they want. In the scheme of things, you're right, most of us don't really 'care'. We're just having a chat about something the OP asked for our opinions on.

‘In our society’? Not all of us are British, live in the UK, or are formed by those specific cultural expectations. There are also those that are of course, but also reject certain cultural ideas.

Social media and sharing your life on it is for a lot of people just a fact of life, and something they’ve grown up with. If they’re happy they post, same as if they’re sad/angry/whatever 🤷🏻‍♀️ I don’t actually use it beyond forums like reddit and mumsnet, but I don’t think this is something that makes me better than those that do. I’m not.

Bottom line is that if you don’t like someone else’s posts, unfollow them. Then you don’t have to worry about feeling envious.

Jf20 · 20/12/2023 12:43

5128gap · 20/12/2023 11:29

In our society, boasting isn't seen as a positive trait, and for good reason. Nothing to do with religious edicts, just to do with living alongside others in a harmonious way. People who boast are uplifting themselves at the expense of others, because the braggart is supposed to be viewed as superior to their audience. Its perfectly possible and healthy to celebrate ones own success and have self pride, but to need that reflected back by other people you are encouraging to envy you, not so much. As for who cares, well maybe the boasters might. It's important to them that people see them positively and affirm them, yet most people on here wouldn't on the basis of that post, so they're not getting what they want. In the scheme of things, you're right, most of us don't really 'care'. We're just having a chat about something the OP asked for our opinions on.

That’s a quite disturbing post. You clearly feel very strong negative emotions. Boasting is not to get envy or to feel superior. I guess you’ve a back story which has caused you to feel this way? You feel inferior and envious of others?

5128gap · 20/12/2023 13:08

Jf20 · 20/12/2023 12:43

That’s a quite disturbing post. You clearly feel very strong negative emotions. Boasting is not to get envy or to feel superior. I guess you’ve a back story which has caused you to feel this way? You feel inferior and envious of others?

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Relax. No need to be disturbed by me. I'm just a regular sort of woman sharing an opinion on a MN thread. I'm not going to reach through the screen and attack someone in a fit of jealous anytime soon. Promise.🙂

Now that's out of the way and you're hopefully feeling less disturbed, tell me, if boasting isn't to evoke envy or feel superior, what do you think it is for?

Camarthen67912 · 20/12/2023 14:04

£10,000.... They often post on social media about how hard their life is and how they can't afford for their children to go on xyz school trip etc, so his mum often ends up paying for uniforms/nappies/books. Bit of a slap in the face when he goes and posts that.....

RandomButtons · 20/12/2023 14:39

LambriniBobinIsleworth · 19/12/2023 14:22

Well, she's not happy is she? If you've got to post that on SM something is badly wrong with your life.

This.

she’s not a happy lady.

Ahwhatthehell · 20/12/2023 14:43

Haha it’s quite funny in a very cringey way.
This is why I’m on as little social media as possible - it’s often just a vehicle for showing off.

GodDammitCecil · 20/12/2023 17:23

Jf20 · 20/12/2023 12:43

That’s a quite disturbing post. You clearly feel very strong negative emotions. Boasting is not to get envy or to feel superior. I guess you’ve a back story which has caused you to feel this way? You feel inferior and envious of others?

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What is the purpose of boasting?

Hmwah · 20/12/2023 20:10

Just have to remember people only want you to see what they want you to see on social media

Chocolatecoveredshitpig · 20/12/2023 20:11

Ugh, how very vulgar. Nouveau riche by any chance?

Tandora · 20/12/2023 20:16

What a bizarre thing to post 🥴🥴

Canisaysomething · 20/12/2023 20:42

Social media is just one big long series of boasts. Boring boasts, every day boasts and big massive boasts. If you don’t want to see boasting, don’t be on social media.