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Original poster

Mum's taxi for 18 year old daughter

245 replies

westendgirll · 19/12/2023 07:54

My daughter is home for the holidays after her first term at uni. Last night, she went out to see all her old school friends and told me that she was getting a lift home. However, the friend changed his mind and I got a message asking for a lift back at 11pm.

We live 2 miles from the town centre so I went and got her. My husband (her stepfather) did his nut because he thinks that she should have got a taxi back. I disagree because she was a woman on her own. He isn't talking to me this morning and is still very angry.

He keeps going on about how he wasn't given any lifts by his parents at the same age and his son was in the army in Iraq at 18!

I think it's no big deal and, as a woman, she is vulnerable from dodgy taxi drivers and drunks, etc,but he won't have it!

OP posts:
LenaLamont · 19/12/2023 07:56

You are both being unreasonable. You, for not expecting your daughter to use a taxi and him for not talking and being angry hours later.

He’s the most unreasonable of the two of you.

Woahtherehoney · 19/12/2023 07:56

She’s your daughter and he has no right at all to dictate what you do and don’t do - if you want to pick her up and know she’s safe then just ignore him (he sounds like a bit of a twat to be honest!)

Seasidemumma77 · 19/12/2023 07:57

LenaLamont · 19/12/2023 07:56

You are both being unreasonable. You, for not expecting your daughter to use a taxi and him for not talking and being angry hours later.

He’s the most unreasonable of the two of you.

This 100%

threestars · 19/12/2023 07:57

Since it had zero impact on him it has zero to do with him. I would prefer to know my daughter was safe.
If he cares for you he should care for what’s important to you too.

Aprilx · 19/12/2023 07:58

LenaLamont · 19/12/2023 07:56

You are both being unreasonable. You, for not expecting your daughter to use a taxi and him for not talking and being angry hours later.

He’s the most unreasonable of the two of you.

Agree with this.

Tistheseason23 · 19/12/2023 08:00

It’s up to you surely. If you’re happy to give her a lift do so.

Mrsjayy · 19/12/2023 08:00

well he's being an aggressive arsehole about it but yes she should have got herself home , do you fret so much when she's away at university?

Theunamedcat · 19/12/2023 08:01

How does it effect him? I would have been able to walk home 2miles when I was 18 times have changed I would get my adult child these days

Mrsjayy · 19/12/2023 08:01

I mean if you are happy to go get her but you shouldn't feel obligated because "she's a woman on her own".

Redundantrobin · 19/12/2023 08:02

What’s it got to do with him? Why can’t you spend some of your evening doing something for your daughter? His son’s experience of being alone at night isn’t relevant, is it? He’s not very likely to be assaulted or raped, is he? 1 in 4 women will be. It’s not just the taxi ride, which is relatively low risk - it’s waiting outside for it to turn up on her own, or potentially having to walk around to find where it’s stopped.

Your husband sounds controlling and mean. It’s your job as her mum to protect her as best you can, and if that means driving for 4 miles - 20 minutes? - then you have every right to do that.

MilkChocolateCookie · 19/12/2023 08:04

He's being completely unreasonable. Not just because your DD is a women - I have an 18yo son and if he was let down by his lift I would absolutely go and get him. It's none of your husband's business and he has no right to be furious with you.

MissBuffyAnneSummers · 19/12/2023 08:04

Whilst your DH can have an opinion to have fallen out with you to this extent is completely unreasonable.

margotrose · 19/12/2023 08:04

As long as you were happy to collect her, what's the problem?

My mum often gave me lifts home at that age - because it saved me money and she was normally awake anyway. No big deal.

My dad never did late night lifts but often took me to work for 6am as again, he was up anyway and it was nicer to get a lift than have to walk in the dark and the cold.

DenyDenyLieTillYouDie · 19/12/2023 08:05

She would have been fine to get a taxi, however it was also fine for you to go get her. She asked, you agreed. It's got absolutely fuck all to do with your DH and his reaction is completely mad.

mottytotty · 19/12/2023 08:05

Your daughter, your choice.

I bet if it was his daughter, he would have given her a lift.

His attitude is worrying, how long has he been her step-dad? Your poor dd.

Pepsipasta · 19/12/2023 08:06

My daughter is 19. I regularly take her places or pick her up. I'd rather know she's home safe and save her some money. If I can't, she understands and gets a taxi.

My parents did the same for me and still do on occasion pick me up or take me to places. It's what family does.

Your partner sounds like a knob to me. And to still be angry with you the next day is beyond weird. How did it actually affect him or is he generally annoyed by things she does or gets you to do?

Ohtobetwentytwo · 19/12/2023 08:07

Bet he wouldnt have kicked off if he had been in need of a lift.

You're a mum doing your daughter a favour.

If you dont want to do lifts then you can talk to her about taxis and better planning today.

Sounds like he feels a bit put out fr some reason. If she was his daughter he might feel differently.

Moonshine5 · 19/12/2023 08:08

He sounds controlling. Does he act like this a lot? If he carries on your daughter might not feel welcome coming home.

MintJulia · 19/12/2023 08:08

Firstly, your relationship with your daughter is none of his business.

Secondly, he's a man. The chances of him getting raped were significantly less.

Thirdly, she's just come home from her first term away. If that was my child (and I have a ds) I'd go, simply because I wanted to.

So tell him to wind his neck in or he'll find himself thrown back in the pile. Honestly, men !!

PiggieWig · 19/12/2023 08:08

It’s totally up to you if you give your daughter a lift home. You’re not asking him to. Although I don’t see the issue in her getting a taxi. Presumably she gets around ok at uni.
Him ‘doing his nut’ and still being angry the next day is well over the top though. Is he nice to your daughter when she’s there?

RenoDakota · 19/12/2023 08:09

I would have gone to get her, OP. No skin off my nose, and these are the sort of things we do for people we love. In my world, anyway.
Your husband is an utter arse.

Mrsjayy · 19/12/2023 08:09

MissBuffyAnneSummers · 19/12/2023 08:04

Whilst your DH can have an opinion to have fallen out with you to this extent is completely unreasonable.

this, he sounds a miserable git another aggressive man telling women "where they are going wrong"

Menomeno · 19/12/2023 08:11

I’m with you. I’ve got a dd the same age and DH or I will pick her up if she’s out drinking and has to come home on her own. If she’s not drinking I’m happier for her to get a taxi but not if she’s had a few drinks as she’s vulnerable. She once told me that whenever she gets a taxi she pulls out a couple of strands of hair and puts it on the floor of the taxi so that if she gets murdered, there’s DNA evidence that she was in the taxi. It really shocked/upset me that she obviously feels so vulnerable.

SecondUsername4me · 19/12/2023 08:11

There is nothing less attractive than a grown man stropping like a toddler about something that has no effect on him. Literally nothing to do with him.

Silent treatment is a form of abuse imo.

Whether your dd did the right thing or not is irrelevant imo, she asked a favour of someone and that person was happy to oblige.had you said no/had had a glass of wine/was asleep, I'm sure she would have made her own way home.

SweetFemaleAttitude · 19/12/2023 08:11

He sounds like a prick. Falling out with you over it is pretty pathetic.

My dad was so tight with lifts and never took us anywhere.

It made me think I would never be so mean to my own kids when it came to picking them up and dropping them off anywhere.

He seriously needs to get over it.

Knob.