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Original poster

Mum's taxi for 18 year old daughter

245 replies

westendgirll · 19/12/2023 07:54

My daughter is home for the holidays after her first term at uni. Last night, she went out to see all her old school friends and told me that she was getting a lift home. However, the friend changed his mind and I got a message asking for a lift back at 11pm.

We live 2 miles from the town centre so I went and got her. My husband (her stepfather) did his nut because he thinks that she should have got a taxi back. I disagree because she was a woman on her own. He isn't talking to me this morning and is still very angry.

He keeps going on about how he wasn't given any lifts by his parents at the same age and his son was in the army in Iraq at 18!

I think it's no big deal and, as a woman, she is vulnerable from dodgy taxi drivers and drunks, etc,but he won't have it!

OP posts:
Gooseysgirl · 19/12/2023 09:02

It's not as if she went out with no plan to get home 🤷🏻‍♀️ Not her fault the lift fell through.

spriots · 19/12/2023 09:03

OneMoreMyWay · 19/12/2023 09:01

I think this comes under "things men never have to think about". Certainly when I was at uni 20 odd years ago, the general rule for a woman was never to get into a taxi alone.
I suppose, today things have changed. Everyone had a phone, can be tracked, can send a quick photo of the registration to a mate etc.
I would go for a bus, then walking then taxi. I might have called her one from a reliable company.

I was walking back along a deserted road (fields, bit of forest) in the dark from DS's parents evening and sent DH a text to let him know I was on my way and which route I was taking. He replied "why do I need to know this?" Ummm because it's basic safety. If you're going somewhere alone at night, you tell someone where you're going and when you're expecting to be home. He has never had to think about this.

I was also at university 20 years ago and I don't recall any "rules for women" - everyone chose their own transport, most women I knew walked.

DidiAskYouThough · 19/12/2023 09:05

The lift is a red herring. You'd be better off starting a thread about the actual issue-your sulking, controlling shitty fella.

Myfabby · 19/12/2023 09:05

spriots · 19/12/2023 09:03

I was also at university 20 years ago and I don't recall any "rules for women" - everyone chose their own transport, most women I knew walked.

Show quote history

So was I and I defo didn't get in a cab alone. Always went in groups especially when we lived off campus and it was too far to walk

spriots · 19/12/2023 09:06

Myfabby · 19/12/2023 09:05

So was I and I defo didn't get in a cab alone. Always went in groups especially when we lived off campus and it was too far to walk

Show quote history

I don't think many of my friends could afford cabs! We cycled or walked, sometimes in groups but often alone.

Ellie1015 · 19/12/2023 09:06

I would be annoyed if I was asleep, it was a long drive or often expected. Absolutely no problem as a plan b from somewhere nearby. Not because I am worried about taxi's but because it can be difficult and a long wait for a taxi.

Your partner is not unreasonable to say he would not do the same, but ridiculous to suggest you shouldnt and awful to be angry about it at all nevermind next day

DanteButton · 19/12/2023 09:09

Your DH sounds like a prick.

However my young adult DC and I almost always walk or get taxis home as only DH can drive. DD works in a pub so does one or the other nearly every night.

Tistheseason23 · 19/12/2023 09:10

When I was a student I would never have got a taxi as I simply did not have the money. My parents would never ever have given me a lift either, even in the daytime. So it was bus or walk.

Tistheseason23 · 19/12/2023 09:11

Anyway in your case I think it was your choice and I would have done it too.

PinkDeer · 19/12/2023 09:14

Wow, what is his problem?! It is completely reasonable for you to go and collect your dd in these circumstances. A nice man would have offered to go instead of you to save you going out. To be angry and not speaking to you over it is completely bizarre. How long has he been her stepfather?

ohdamnitjanet · 19/12/2023 09:14

He really is a horrible wanker. It’s got fuck all to do with him. I’d go and get my 24 yr old son if I was awake, hadn’t had a drink, it was a fairly short journey, and would save a fortune in taxi fares.
I’ve also often told his female friends if they’re stuck or in trouble I’d go and get them.
Sounds like he’s really jealous of any attention you give your daughter, couldn’t be with such a pathetic man child.

bloodyeffinnora · 19/12/2023 09:14

RenoDakota · 19/12/2023 08:09

I would have gone to get her, OP. No skin off my nose, and these are the sort of things we do for people we love. In my world, anyway.
Your husband is an utter arse.

Totally agree, your daughter wanted a lift, you wanted to give her a lift, End of. it's got nothing to do with him. tell him to mind his own business. what a jealous, controlling man.

TomatoSandwiches · 19/12/2023 09:14

Your husband sounds like a jealous toddler, what has he got against your daughter?

ActDottie · 19/12/2023 09:17

I’d tell him to F off! It’s entirely up to you to decide what to do.

Lochness1975 · 19/12/2023 09:25

Your daughter wanted a lift, you wanted to give her one for safety reasons, so what’s it got to do with him? He sounds like a prize knob to be honest 🤷‍♀️

Seeline · 19/12/2023 09:31

I will always pick up my uni-aged DCs if asked (as would my DH).
They are both at small city unis and are fine getting about and nearly always with a group.
Their friends at home come from different areas, and we live in a part of London with a very high stab rate. I do not want them standing around waiting for taxis, or buses.

piscofrisco · 19/12/2023 09:31

Thank his he doesn't live in my house even. He'd combust. Most Saturdays I spend 4.5 hours in the car ferrying DD's to work and back and DSS's to football.

2jacqi · 19/12/2023 09:42

@westendgirll I am with dp! I always collected my daughter and son from wherever they were at 3 am. It meant i could be sure they were safe in their bed. you are still a parent however old your kids are. We live in one region but the nightclubs were all in another region. I would not always trust the taxi drivers. well done OP

autienotnaughty · 19/12/2023 09:45

I would be ok with my dd getting a registered taxi alone.

But she asked you said yes and went. It's nothing to do with your dp.

I'd be concerned about his reaction too. I also hate the 'I suffered so everyone else must suffer' attitude.

TommyNever · 19/12/2023 09:57

Sounds like a very short drive to pick up a family member staying with you. Very odd that your husband "did his nut", but he does sound a bit of a nutter.

enchantedsquirrelwood · 19/12/2023 10:00

LenaLamont · 19/12/2023 07:56

You are both being unreasonable. You, for not expecting your daughter to use a taxi and him for not talking and being angry hours later.

He’s the most unreasonable of the two of you.

Totally disagree that a 18 year old girl should be getting a taxi on her own.

Mum's taxi is much safer. I would collect my son in this scenario, never mind a daughter.

Stepfather is ridiculous.

enchantedsquirrelwood · 19/12/2023 10:00

I also saw something, not sure if it was on here or other social media, but it was along the lines of "I'd much rather be phoned up by my child at 3am for a lift from somewhere than have a house call from the police at 3am because something has happened to them".

I told my son that and said he should never worry about phoning us in the middle of the night for a lift home (it has only happened once when the last trains home were cancelled).

VanityDiesHard · 19/12/2023 10:02

LenaLamont · 19/12/2023 07:56

You are both being unreasonable. You, for not expecting your daughter to use a taxi and him for not talking and being angry hours later.

He’s the most unreasonable of the two of you.

Why is the OP unreasonable for not expecting her daughter to use a taxi? I think the husband is the only unreasonable one in this scenario.

crowsfeet57 · 19/12/2023 10:04

My 26 year old daughter moved into her own house 2.5 years ago. She knows that if she needs a lift, day or night, either myself or her Dad will go and get her. I don't care how inconvenient it is, her safety is paramount.

We also pick up her older brothers if they need it.

Mrsjayy · 19/12/2023 10:07

FedUpMumof10YO · 19/12/2023 08:50

I pick my DD up when it's dark for every journey. She's 17 and until she's driving and no longer reliant on my I shall continue to do so.

Your DH is an arse. 11pm isn't that late.

Overly aggressive ...but ....he can FUCK off.

do you live in the middle of nowhere? I'm not having a go but it's dark by 5pm.are you saying you would pick her up at that time?